Hi. I have posted before. Was originally 'Blinkeyblonk' and had a lot of support when first posted about husband, turbulent relationship, supporting him through asylum and some very concerning behaviours and punitive/aggressive tendencies of his. Left me (short episodes) during 2nd pregnancy and after 2nd child just born. Is of middle Eastern origin and whilst has been here for over 10 years, has not moved forwards. Is not responsible (ex drug user, still recent cannabis and cocodamol use) and will not work officially as resents paying tax. Our differences and my resentment at how things have panned out mean we are now divorcing. Have had support re the emotional abuse with him and my (probably irrational) fears that he could ever try to remove our children from this country. All that said, divorce nearing decree nisi (I have spent 2k and he lies about his cash in hand full time work and claims legal aid for his solicitor!!) and I had, yet again, entered the land of ambivalence and tried to see if we could have some kind of relationship (lived seperately for over 18 months),..but its been a false calm, me just trying to keep the status quo. And never being able to imagine sharing a bed with him again, let alone financial respobsibility to support our children/my mortgage.. Today I did not 'cause an argument' but dipped my toe outside the stepford existance of the last two months by saying that he really needed to give me some money this week as I am struggling hugely ...of course it was all his poverty and relentless borrowing and ended up with him asking me for a loan! When he got angry (i asked him why he got into this situation every week) and I asked him not to (again) shout at me in front of youngest ds, he lost it. Cue rant about get divorce finalised, and even him making a pledge to not work at all rather than give me money. I do feel that this has given me the last sign that he and it will never change, he is a poor role model for our sons and that I needed this reminder. but for some odd reason i still need mumsnet vallidation that i am doing the right thing by refusing to get reinvolved. I work almost full time with a diffucult client group, am near risk of repossesion and on antidepressants. I would greatly appreciate the support of any of you/opinions, whether you recognise me from before or reading for first time. I really intend this to be it. finito. But need a bit of girlpower...
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Relationships
Please help me to finally make break from stbxh..need yr support.
DippyDoohdah · 26/09/2012 20:03
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