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What do you make of this?

(191 Posts)
Notthecatspyjamas Thu 20-Sep-12 14:40:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elastamum Fri 05-Oct-12 23:56:00

Im so sorry for you, something similar happened to me a few yrs back, and it is horrible, BUT you were right all along and you have done the right thing by making him leave, so at least he knows you are serious, Dont do anything rash before you work our what YOU want. And tell people. enlist the help and support of family and friends.

It will work out for you. There are loads of posters on here who have been through this, some still with partners, some not. You will get through this..

rhondajean Sat 06-Oct-12 00:03:49

Oh sweetheart I have no words of wisdom at all, but like elasta says, there are lots here who do.

I can offer sympathy and a shoulder if you want to rant though.

Someone with more constructive advice is bound to be along soon.

Notthecatspyjamas Sat 06-Oct-12 00:18:43

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Matesnotdates Sat 06-Oct-12 00:23:43

Oh you poor love. I can't advise you, others have been there and they will, but you will get through this xx

Notthecatspyjamas Sat 06-Oct-12 00:27:42

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PrincessSymbian Sat 06-Oct-12 00:28:34

Oh, crappy crap! Hugs and tea and biscuits. Now is not the time to make decisions. You need to come to terms with what has happened and then start thinking about what to do next.
So cup of tea, biscuit, fag if you smoke, wine if you drink and plenty of crying.

Notthecatspyjamas Sat 06-Oct-12 00:29:20

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rhondajean Sat 06-Oct-12 00:29:58

I can't think of anything to say that doesn't sound like a platitude or cheap sound bite but I wanted you to know I'm still listening.

PrincessSymbian Sat 06-Oct-12 00:29:59

Your exactly who you thought you were, he is the one who is not what he seemed.

Notthecatspyjamas Sat 06-Oct-12 00:32:23

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rhondajean Sat 06-Oct-12 00:33:55

If you don't know what to do, perhaps this is not the time to do anything.

Have a cry, a shout, a drink, a coffee, a cig, and try to get some sleep.

If you can rest, you will be better prepared to think about it properly tomorrow.

Notthecatspyjamas Sat 06-Oct-12 00:34:40

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rhondajean Sat 06-Oct-12 00:36:03

Well done.

He will be panicking. You will need eventually to talk to him but for now, try to focus on you and the kids.

Notthecatspyjamas Sat 06-Oct-12 00:45:06

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OP your pain is so evident in your words, I really feel for you sad

You've done the right thing by kicking him out...and sod dignity just this once. I'm glad you yelled at him. You are not a fool.

Is there anyone you can talk to in rl? Someone who can help you out with the dc for a while over the next few days?

This is grief and it's so real. There's plenty of people here to hold your hand x

mantlepiece Sat 06-Oct-12 00:46:45

So sorry this situation turned out the way you didn't want.

You obviously love him very much to be so upset by his behaviour, life is shit isn't it.

I think you have done the right thing by putting him out as you need to gather support from your friends and family to help you come to a decision as to the way forward.

Even though you have been suspecting for a while that he has been deceiving you, it is still a shock to find out the truth.

I do think he has been very cruel to tell you the sordid details when you are obviously shocked and distressed.

You will get lots of support and advice here so post away, it will help.

PrincessSymbian Sat 06-Oct-12 00:47:27

You don't owe him any answers, if he wants any chance of fixing this then the first thing he needs to do is back off and give you time and space!

rhondajean Sat 06-Oct-12 00:47:47

He has no right to be annoyed.

It sounds like he's mentally moved on, so now he expects you to have moved on too, but he's known about this for six years, you have only had hours to process!

Do you think you will be able to sleep?

Matesnotdates Sat 06-Oct-12 00:51:13

Thinking of you.....lots and lots of help on here so vent away.

He has NO right to be angry...

Notthecatspyjamas Sat 06-Oct-12 00:51:34

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Notthecatspyjamas Sat 06-Oct-12 00:57:04

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rhondajean Sat 06-Oct-12 01:01:01

There is no right thing to feel, no supposed to, no guide book.

I have to go but I'll look in tomorrow and see how you are.

Try to get some sleep. I know my head is always clearer after a sleep.

And you absolutely did/do not deserve this.

AlfalfaMum Sat 06-Oct-12 01:01:14

Oh sweetheart sad
I just want to reassure you that, in my unfortunate experience, the worst part is almost over; the awful limbo of wondering and feeling crazy, and the shock and rawness that you are now gets better, it really does.
Also, tell the people that care about you in rl, let them support you and help you through. This is not your shame, it's his.

Notthecatspyjamas Sat 06-Oct-12 01:03:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notthecatspyjamas Sat 06-Oct-12 01:05:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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