Mumsnet Talk

Fucking bastard.

Yes, I would make him feel the consequences - grrr!!

Dump everything in bin bags and leave outside for him to collect. Do not allow him INSIDE your home. He has to take the kids out if he wants to see them. He has abused you and your good nature for far too long!!

Don't allow him back in the house to collect stuff unless you have someone with you. He can collect DC's at the door.
2 weeks McB and you will be settling into your new home and life in time for xmas.
New year new start.
Do not allow him into your new home at all. That will be your personal space after all would you be invited into hos new pad with OW eugh!!!!!!!!!
She can have his shitty boxers and smelly socks you have lovely DD's--you are the winner in all this.
Anger is wasted on him please do not put yourself in a situation where you are alone with him again

What a fking Twat. Loser. Dont let him in the house again, without someone there, and get rid of his shit by dumping it at the shagpad. He is completely absolving himself of any responsiblity as he can't deal with the truth of what he has done and is freaked out that you aren't the timid shell you used to be. He was so unfaithful to you, he broke this marriage up, he didn't want you but he never expected you to set boundaries and stick to them. Well done you. He's an arse, well pissed off on your behalf. Tell his dad of his obnoxious behaviour if he keeps it up.

Well he signed the papers for the house sale last night. I just feel so broken. He's asking when he can introduce the children to the OW. I'd prefer to wait but I don't think I have any fight left in me. We originally agreed six months but now they've moved into their own place they obviously want to start playing happy families with my children as soon as possible.

I spent mot of the night crying. I just want him to come home.

And just to top off a great week our cat was hit by a car this morning and died.

Went to the Dr and got some citalopram today. Not really coping very well.

McB I've been reading your thread since it began, just keep thinking 13 more days and then your out of that house and into a new one and a fresh start, with your wonderful

Keep strong, think how far you have come!

Sorry should say and your wonderful DD's

McB, I fully understand the feelings you are having. My STBXH left 9 months ago and there isnt a day that goes by when I dont think about him. There are times when I wish for the sake of everything we had previously been through and for our DC that he would come back but the truth is if he were to come back it would never work.

You and I are both greiving for the future we believed we have lost but a new clearer, brighter and more loving future is only around the corner. The bond you will develop with your DC will be greater than anything he can ever dream of. Every day my children tell me how special I am and how much they love me - he never gets that.

Take care X

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. the ADs will help a lot - you've been through so much in the past few months. Well done, you have been an inspiration. I hope you can move soon and this horrible part will be behind you for good. xx

Tuesday: "He kicked me me on purpose and pretended he was merely standing up after crouching down at DD2's cot and then shouted that I was an unfit mother.
Am so angry with him. "

Friday: "I spent mot of the night crying. I just want him to come home. "

You have a long, long list of reasons not to want him home. You really want this foul man back?

Oh McB. I didn't realise your thread was still going. I was wondering how you are getting on.

Very, very soon, you will be starting afresh, with more support, and far away from your horrid ex. Stand your ground over the six months and make sure he does all the travel for future contact. You owe him NOTHING.

So sorry about your cat too .

XXX

Hi McB- just checking in, not long now till you move to your new house & hopefully a better future.

Glad you got the AD's they do just help you keep it together while you are going through this shite. The cat must have been the final straw <<hugs>>

Well we're nearly packed and I picked up the keys to our new home today.

Seems so weird - four months ago he was saying how he wanted to build a better future for us and here we are now going our separate ways. Seems so sad.

He's getting angry about contact now. Up til now he's seen the kids Thursday evenings and Sundays and I've let him come into the family home and play happy families - reading the kids stories and putting them to bed, I've let him use the family car on Sundays to take them out (even though he never puts petrol in it). I feel I've been very reasonable under the circumstances.

When we move to the new house I've said he can have the children every other weekend and as many nights during the week as he wants. But because of his job and because he will be living an hour away from us once we have moved he's trying to insist on every other weekend plus Sundays on the weekends he doesn't have them. This would leave me with two Saturdays a month with the kids to take them out (as DD1 is at school all week). I'm refusing his proposed arrangement because of this - am I being unreasonable?

The standard is every other weekend and a midweek evening. He shall have to be happy with that.

I wouldn't accept a Sunday contact on his "off" weekend...it mucks up "your" free time with the kids.

Well that's what I thought. He's threatening solicitors but I've got him on email admitting to driving the kids over the drink drive limit, and have evidence of him not turning up to see the kids because he was with the OW.

I don't want to be a bitch about this but I can't help feeling that I get the Mon to Fri stress of school runs and sleepless nights with the baby and then he trolls up to be fun daddy whenever it suits.

Well that's what I thought. He's threatening solicitors but I've got him on email admitting to driving the kids over the drink drive limit, and have evidence of him not turning up to see the kids because he was with the OW.

I don't want to be a bitch about this but I can't help feeling that I get the Mon to Fri stress of school runs and sleepless nights with the baby and then he trolls up to be fun daddy whenever it suits.

He can threaten away, he is wasting his breath. You keep hold of your evidence and your moral high ground, love x

McB pleased to hear about the new home etc. Think you have done the right thing re the Citalpram, it was an absolute lifesaver for me.

Don't listen to his empty threats about solicitors, contact etc. He's just pissed off because you won't be there to make it easy for him. Plus you've taken the initiative with the house move. How very dare you!

Maybe I've missed it on this long thread but have you sorted out legal advice yet? Or were you waiting to settle in the new place?

Either way, please have a look at this information, it should put your mind at rest and ensure you're up to date with everything before you see a solicitor.

olgaga that post is brilliant

Can I have your permission to link to it if I don't see you knocking around on a thread where it would be very useful indeed ?

Yes by all means - pleased you like it!

The advice and links post got so long when I updated it recently (and did all those nice neat hyperlinks) I found I could no longer post it directly on the threads like I used to.

Just don't refer to it as a blog! I've found that some people will report it for breaking the talk guidelines on posting links and spamming.

Oh, ok. Not a blog, gotcha

I added your first comment < proud >

Tee hee

Thanks for the info Olgaga.

Am waiting until we've moved to get legal advice, I'm already drowning in paperwork and new arrangements for the new house and school etc.

Good luck with the move and I agree with the others that your EX is trying it on x

Hope it goes well McB, come back and tell us how you're getting on and PM me if you have any queries over the advice and links/finding a family lawyer especially.