Should I tell him about the money? if not, when?

[EarPicker]

I've been seeing someone about 4 months. We get on brilliantly and always have a lot of fun, lots of cuddles, lots of laughs - I'm really enjoying it and he is too.

A couple of weeks ago however I won a few million on the lottery. He doesn't know. Nobody does. I want to stay with him but obviously this changes my life significantly and will change his too if we stay together.

I'm paranoid that if I tell him now, he may want to stay with me for the money regardless of whether he feels we're right together. I need to know 6 months down the line that he's with me for me and not the money.

But if I don't tell him, when do I tell him??

[BoysBoysBoysAndMe]

You've told nobody? Not done anything extravagant?

[izzyizin]

Tell him when he proposes and insist on a pre-nup

[Lovemy3kids]

Dont' tell him....if you've not told your nearest and dearest why would you consider telling someone you've been seeing for 4 months?

Congrats on your win tho :)

[OhNoMyFoot]

Don't tell him, you don't know him yet.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Dont tell him.

Invest your money wisely. Dont spend it on anything. Dont ever marry him.

[TheCunningStunt]

Send me the money and you go for true love. If this is for real, you don't need to tell him anything. 4 months is no time at all.

[snuffaluffagus]

No don't tell him.. you don't need to tell him until you've been together a lonnnnng time.. You can allude to being "comfortable" but I don't think you need to declare your finances to him. I've never asked anyone I'm dating what their bank balance is!

[izzyizin]

If you intend to buy a new house/car/boat/dress in couture and travel by private jet to 5*+ hotels, explain your purchases by saying you inherited a few grand from a long lost relative rather than a few mill on a game of chance.

Belated congratulations; well done you and I'm sure it couldn't have happened to a nicer more level headed person

[ArtVandelay]

I'm another one for don't tell him. I don't think its really anyone's business, unless you were married and then I think a husband would need to know. Hope you enjoy your good fortune!

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Tell the truth and shame the devil. He might change, he might not. But that's going to be true of anyone you know, so you might as well start as you mean to go on and get used to the idea. The alternative is that, a few months down the track, you look at him lovingly and say 'I would have told you last August darling, but at the time I thought you were a gold-digging chancer'....

Congratulations!!!

[MisForMumNotMaid]

Get financial advice, invest 3 million and tell him and others about 1 million. That way you can live a slightly more extravagant life? Than you currently do, have a holiday, buy a car but have your secret stash to fall back on. You could even say you've invested a little and not tell how much. If a year or two down the line the money is running out and his interest is to, you'd have had a fun year and have a really decent invested sum of money to enjoy knowing you'd given it a chance.

[fuckityfuckfuckfuck]

Can't wait to read the novel

[TheProvincialLady]

Oh that happens ALL the time.

[expatinscotland]

Dump him. Hire rent boys.

[fuckityfuckfuckfuck]

Ha! Yes expat, why bother with relationship shite when you can just buy men and not have to wash their undies. Win win.
And OP, lend us a tenner eh?

[marquesas]

I certainly wouldn't be saying anything.

Have you made plans about what to do with the money? Are you going to buy a new house/flashy car/expensive holiday? How will you explain them to everyone else in your life ?

[TheSilverPussycat]

Do not marry him. If it goes tits up he would have a claim for half of it

[MrsBitchArseUsedToBeBran]

You're right Fuckity, it does sound like a novel. It needs a plot twist though, the boyfriend will need money for some genuine and worthy reason (baby neice needing a specialist op in the US perhaps) and our wealthy op will have to find a way to give it to him without giving away her secret.

[Northumberlandlass]

Congratulations EarPicker - Another for the 'don't tell him'. You've only known him 4 months....you haven't told ANYONE ? Crikey.

You don't have to decide WHEN to tell him right now, just see how it goes?

Have you decided how to spend it ? I have an awesome plan for when I DO win it [optimistic emotion]

[lemonstartree]

really ? congratulations ?

[hmmm]

[lemonstartree]

[Northumberlandlass]

I can't say Congratulations ? Why ?

[iggi777]

While I am a bit about this, in this situation I wouldn't want to be told if I was the bf, as it would influence how I feel on some level. (Would the girl in that stupid book have been quite so keen on her dominant lover without the dosh?)