lonely, miserable and can't see an end in sight...

[laleila]

hello everyone, sorry its a bit ranty

well as the title says, i'm a bit (ok, a lot) fed up. Been divorced since January this year. Dont especially miss him, he was an arse but do miss the companionship that goes with someone else being in the house iyswim? I have two ds that are simply my world.

I'm quite a shy and reserved person but am friendly and approachable and have lots of aquaintances through the kids things like football and judo and a couple of friends but since my divorce I have noticed that the wives of men that were originally ex-h's friends have stopped contacting me, and the friends that I could call 'mine' dip in and out of my life as they please. They call me up when they need help/advice but seldom spare a thought as to how I am getting on. I always seem to initiate contact and although they are happy to hear from me, it feels so one sided. I understand people are busy with full-on lives and I am pretty busy myself but I can always find the time to quickly txt/call...it doesnt have to be anything heavy just "hi, how are you?"

I'm the last person to pick up the phone and whinge but the fact that I've spent the whole of bank holiday monday alone, no texts, calls at all, has just highlighted how alone I really am. Have just spent the last half hour crying over this. Pathetic arnt I?

I'm not rude, socially inept, insensitive....I'm a nurse at our local hospice so Im certain that I'm tactful and not a cretin blah blah...so why does no-one seem to care, or want to be my friend in the true sense of the word?

I give up

[Shinyshinyface]

Sorry you've been feeling like this. I do sympathise. My ex moved out 3 years ago and just like that all the dinners and meetups with married couples (some of whom I'd known since our kids were babies) ended. If I think about it, my whole social circle (such as it is) is very different to what it was when I was married.

You sound like a nice person and I'm sure you wouldn't have any trouble making new friends in different circles, although as a fellow shy person I recognise that isn't the easiest challenge to face. Sorry I don't have any more useful advice but I do hope things get better for you.

[Mrsgorgeous]

Well , I could have written your post. I too have been crying for the very same reason.
I know I have lots of family and friends who care but I have spent Saturday and Sunday alone and with no one to talk to.
My kids are all grown up and are either at work or with their bf's. My friends and family are either on holiday or with their families and I just feel so alone.
I could go out but don't have enough money for the bus fare.ive hurt my back so I can't go on long walks and I am just feeling sorry for myself and I hate it!
I had cancer in 2002 and wonder why I battled when here I am alone and likely to lose my house all because taunt of a husband had an affair so will end up with nothing anyway.
I think we both need a good kick up the backside!

[tallwivglasses]

Here's a thread that someone started which gave birth top a facebook page of mumsnetters that are linking up all over the country. Please try it.

I'd also suggest giving your friends and family a gentle nudge - it's so easy to be thoughtless when you're busy and have lots of stuff going on. I bet some of them would be mortified if they thought you were feeling neglected.

I know it's tough (especially if you're strapped for cash and in pain like Mrsg) but there's loads of volunteering opportunities, craft clubs, etc out there once you start looking. Make an effort to try something new say, once a fortnight. I'm speaking here as a former hermit who has only just started venturing out once I realised the world wasn't going to come to me and if I can do it anyone can! Good luck x