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How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time :-)

(993 Posts)
skyebluesapphire Sat 25-Aug-12 17:42:34
tribpot Sun 02-Dec-12 23:42:26

Typical of the weasel that he still wouldn't have bothered to change his address. If he hasn't got someone to do all that shit for him ...

Btw, do make sure you let his GP practice know he's moved address (on a serious note, they really should know if he is still within their catchment area). And presumably you took him off the electoral register when that came round earlier in the year?

XSIL is either being mean or thoughtless - perhaps thinking if she's written mini-skye's name on a card to her dad it would seem slightly weird to write it again on another card (what do I know, I sign all my cards from my cat).

Certainly not your problem to buy presents for his family - I can just see him getting around to buying your mum a pressie from mini-skye. NOT.

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Mon 03-Dec-12 14:07:51

I bet he's not told his family up country either, so Im expecting to get Christmas Cards addressed to Mr & Mrs.....

He changed doctors the week that he moved out.. I had been nagging him to go for ages as he kept having nosebleeds. Of course, as soon as OW suggested it, he went....

I am trying to feel angry about what he has done, about the lies he told to himself and OW, about the way he treated me and DD, about what a loser he is, 48 years old and now has nothing, literally nothing apart from a rented house and a failing business.

Im getting in over my head with work, so much to do, so little time..... its not easy finding the motivation at the moment.

I have seen the doctor today for my review and she is keeping me on the Citalopram until March and then we will try and cut it down over the spring/summer months when life is generally a bit better anyway..... I told her that I just keep crying since the divorce was finalised and she said it is a bereavement and you just have to work through it, there is no magic pill or short cut...

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 03-Dec-12 14:50:25

Surely someone in his clan would have told them?

Am so glad you can talk to your GP. She sounds very sensible and there is no easy way to get past this but you are on your way and keep on keeping on.

Graceparkhill Mon 03-Dec-12 15:02:12

Hello Skye and cheery wave to MS.

I have followed your threads from the very beginning and have always admired your obvious devotion to MS and your determination to get things done and keep moving.

I think you are an inspiration to people in your situation and I'm sorry you have been a bit tearful but you have had a lot to contend with.

I am not sure if it helps but I find throwing myself into work is a huge help to me in difficult times. It provides job satisfaction and distraction ( oh and money !)
All the best to both of you for Christmas and for a happy 2013.

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Mon 03-Dec-12 16:42:05

Grace - thanks for the support, its nice to know somebody is still reading, lol. I sometimes think I have bored everybody to death and its only Donkeys and Trib left....

His family are weird, XMIL doesnt talk to her BIL as he refused to come down for our wedding (she wanted to show off her bungalow....) the poor bloke was 90 and didnt drive! We didn't expect him to come..... She doesnt speak to her sister, as her sister is always criticizing MIL's children ie XH< XBIL and XSIL. (with good reason...) she says they are all losers (she is right).

Anyway..... I have got MS's term review with her teacher tonight. Should be interesting. MS seems to be coming on really well with her phonics, but I have nothing to judge it against, so have no idea if its good or bad. I don't push her but I do read with her every night. She was the first kid in the class to get her certificate for reading 60 books. I'm not pushy, but I find the time to sit with her every night and read her book. We have practiced a bit of writing too, but not much. I want her to go at her own pace.

She tries to read everything she comes across now..... bit embarassing in the local shop when she spots Durex behind the counter grin

I have today posted off my Mumsnet Secret Santa. I donated a couple of £10 gift vouchers in the hope that they would reach somebody who needs them.... I was nominated as well, which chuffed me to bits, as I really didnt expect that. I did nominate as well. I think its a fantastic idea and will definitely be doing it again next year.

I'm still reading, skye - I just mainly get the chance to read on my phone, on which I hate typing - so I'm a bit of a lurker.
But I lurk and cheerlead! smile

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Mon 03-Dec-12 18:11:07

so thats 4 of you now then, lol

I'm still here.

Sounds like MS is doing really well at school.

My dd2 is in reception and is doing really well. We had a Phonics workshop last week and the main thing that came across the children who have the widest vocabulary pick up phonic quicker and easier the those that don't. And as dd2 takes her dictionary to school most days she has a wide vocab and also a love of words.

Bitofkipper Mon 03-Dec-12 20:44:14

Hello skye. Have been following you from day one, but never posted. You have an indomitable spirit that shines through and you often makes me smile. There must be many people like me that feel we know you and wish you well.

Doha Mon 03-Dec-12 20:52:11

I'm still here Skye lurking in the shadows and silently cheering you on.

Only poking my nose out when l have something of value to say-which l must admit isn't very often..

You and MS are doing just great smile

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Mon 03-Dec-12 20:57:52

aww shucks smile, people do still love me after all grin

MS has been invited to a party on Sunday when she is with him. I told her that she is going to a different party on Saturday morning, then for a sleepover with Daddy, so wont be able to go to the second party.

She said, I don't want a sleepover with Daddy, I'd rather go to the party..... I'm tempted to email him and tell him that grin but I won't.... It won't hurt her to miss one party and the invite is very last minute....

I asked MS what she wanted for Christmas and she said a Minnie Mouse teaset again... I said what about a big cuddle Minnie Mouse (coz I know that Santa has got one of those) and she said ok then, but I will need Mickey too! I have bought her an Innotab which I thought she would love as she loved playing with her cousin's last Christmas, but she will probably think its boring after playing on XH's ipad..... (I'm still willing her to drop that and smash it by the way ... [evil grin]

Proudnscaryvirginmary Mon 03-Dec-12 21:05:51

I'm still 'ere! <waves madly>

Still cheering you on and smiling at Mini Skye's funny little comments


I'm here too (brianbennettfan). With a bloody sore wrist, since I leaned over the just-boiled kettle yesterday to unplug the slow cooker and scalded and burned myself. I am an idiot.

Hope all was well at school tonight. Mini's reading sounds great! Well done you!

Had to take my Alfie to the vet today for his annual booster jab. He is now ignoring me so I am having to watch the Royal Variety Performance instead of having pussycat cuddles. sad

cenicienta Mon 03-Dec-12 22:06:08

\i'm still here too smile

cleef15 Mon 03-Dec-12 22:10:27

I'm still here too. You and me are on the same timescales and I find it is a rollercoaster. Some days are bad and some are ok. I just need some good ones soon! I'm working on getting through Christmas and then hoping 2013 will be better than 2012!!! X

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Mon 03-Dec-12 22:15:55

Stupid Twunt XH just backed out of seeing MS on Weds, second week running. This buggers up my work as I work a long day on Weds because he picks her up! So his work buggers mine...

I thought it was too good to be true, he's seen her every Weds since September, I knew it wouldn't last....

I've told him that he can't keep letting her down and I will need to put her in after school club if he can't commit to it. He is self employed, he can get somebody else to do the work!

But no, it's my problem when he can't make it.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 03-Dec-12 22:18:23

Go on Skye vent here, angry you know it makes sense (hurls rock in Twunt's general direction).

Erm your self employed but still put MS first.

Can you not tell him as Wednesday is his evening he will have to arrange after school care for MS, as you have work too. I know you won't as you will always put MS before work.

tribpot Tue 04-Dec-12 07:37:39

Exactly, wheredidiputit.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 04-Dec-12 08:51:45

Hello Skye like the seasonal name change by the way, must get my thinking cap on. bbf has changed hers too, and I had to re-read the AIBU title page a couple of times today to see if I'd read it properly!

Anyway having thought about it, if you told Twunt he was out of order regarding Wednesday school pick up, and he managed to take criticism without name-calling, that must mean he's maturing a bit, and might be taking some of this on board; let's be positive. (Sheepishly fetches back rock). Of course, better if he was more considerate to start with, and let's see what happens next Wednesday, (keeps rock handy).

Actually thinking some more about (have been in a boring assembly with dd1) give him to the end of term and if he cancels any of the next 3 weeks tell him from January MS will be in after school club.

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Tue 04-Dec-12 12:49:24

ah but his work will be quieter in January, its only because of Christmas.......

I've had to beg my neighbour to have her tomorrow and she wasn't that happy about it as she already has her tonight for a couple of hours... I have promised to get home as early as I can tomorrow, but I just want to scream!

He hasn't replied to my second email yet, so still plenty of time for name calling...... it will obviously all be my fault as per usual....

anyway, regarding the Minnie Mouse teaset! Argos have one for £9.99 down from £14.99 so my mum is going to pick it up for me today. It is the only thing that MS has asked Santa for, so I feel mean not getting it for her.

I love that little girl so much and it just breaks my heart what a useless idiot she has for a father now, when I used to think that he was such a wonderful dad to her....

awww, I just got a lovely image of you and Mini Skye having tea parties smile

Do you think you can make Wednesday nights his thing? So he has to either pick her up and see her, or arrange childcare for her? I'm a bit ignorant of how these things work but the ad-hoc nature of this midweek arrangement can't be good for you, your work, or her. Poor things.

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Tue 04-Dec-12 13:27:50

we went through it all in mediation and I thought that they had got him to see that it wasn't fair on me to not stick to an arrangement....

Mini Skye was given a Disney Princess tea set for Christmas last year which she hadn't played with, so I was going to give it away.. on Sunday morning, she took it to his place and left it there. I asked why she did that and she said because Santa is going to bring me a Minnie Mouse teaset for here Mummy..... I said to my mum, how can I not get her the one thing that she has asked for... that is all she wants for Christmas.....

I've decided not to send very many cards this year. I will just send to people that live away from here, and not to everybody local. I will put it on facebook and give a donation to Charity. I just can't face writing out loads of cards with just our name on... daft I know, but it's stuff like that, that upsets me. I wouldnt put it past him to give me a Christmas card though.....

everybody keeps saying to me, new year new start, you are divorced now, you can put it all behind you, but it simply isn't that easy. I know its my choice whether to wallow in self pity and go downhill, or whether to drag myself up and go on, but it all just seems so hard at the moment sad

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