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How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time :-)

(993 Posts)
skyebluesapphire Sat 25-Aug-12 17:42:34
DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 12-Nov-12 10:40:07

It will be something nice to look forward to after your Grandad's funeral.

Is mini Skye back at school today, if so hope she stays dry - perhaps it was just she was coming down with ear ache and off colour.

skyebluesapphire Mon 12-Nov-12 22:50:14

MS was fine at school today, still has bad cough though.

Me and Match man emailed for 12 hours straight, lol. looking forward to meeting him next week

stuffitunderthebed Tue 13-Nov-12 06:54:24

Oooooh 'match man' sounds fab. Glad you have something to make you smile (as well as mini-skye of course). If things come in threes then mortgage, decree absolute and match man?? Fingers firmly crossed for you luv

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 13-Nov-12 10:18:15

Don't forget mini Skye and her chats about Daddy and OW, careful what you mention in front of her lol.

skyebluesapphire Tue 13-Nov-12 17:05:22

yes I know. I was talking to a friend and showing her an email and saying oh match man is so funny and MS was Who is match man mummy? little ears!

have been emailing all day again today and getting quite deep and meaningful. We get on so well by email, it will be a damn shame if we meet and cant stand each other!

he is so funny, he makes me laugh my head off

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 13-Nov-12 18:17:05

Yy, little ears all right, they have a sixth sense for what you don't want broadcast.

Match man does sound nice but you'll still be careful won't you, meet somewhere public and let your mum or someone know where you're going!
(cluck, cluck!)

skyebluesapphire Wed 14-Nov-12 00:04:25

yes Donkey (mum) - !! LOL

I am going to meet him next week, for a meal. Its a Brewers Fayre type place, so very open and bright, parking right outside etc. (and right on the road home if I need to do a runner, lol). My mum will be babysitting and I will text her and a friend when I get there, leave etc.

we have been emailing all day again today (he stayed off sick again). and have had a lot of fun chat , but also a lot of deep and meaningful stuff too... he has opened right up about stuff which is good, but has scared himself a little too... but he is a fantastic communicator. we have discussed the sort of person that we are looking for, the sort of people that we are, problems we faced with our exes, friends, family, all sorts of things.

He is totally honest and open, or seems to be. Im trying not to be cynical. His wife ripped his heart out and stamped on it, cheated on him, so he left her as he would never trust her ever again. So we both have issues with trust, but also know that we would never ever cheat on anyone....

I havent even met him yet, but feel like Ive known him forever.... how bizarre is that?!

We are both scared that we are going to meet and not like each other lol. Which we be awful because we have such a great email relationship!!

Im excited and trying to look forward only now, not backwards. it doesnt matter what Twunt does or doesnt do in his life. I have to realise that he is not the man that I thought he was. I noticed a link on his email earlier about a website selling stuff, so he has just gone right back to the "get rich quick" schemes that he used to be into when I met him. After he lost a couple of thousand when he was conned into buying a massive quantity of Herbalife stock, i gently told him that you just cant make money that way. Its all pyramid stuff and only the guys at the top make the money.... He paid a fortune for a list of 1000 names, 1000 photocopies, 1000 stamps, 1000 envelopes.... He got back one response for £25. I had to stop him (not control him!!!) as he was just throwing money down the drain, but now he is away from me, he has gone right back to it, so NO lesson learned and as gullible as ever!

Another reason to say, thank god he's not with me any more!!! I need to approach this (possible) new relationship with no thoughts of twunt....

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 14-Nov-12 00:11:32


Glad to hear you will stay sensible and safe. I hope he is a genuinely nice guy.
It's lovely to hear you sound so positive and forward thinking.

stuffitunderthebed Wed 14-Nov-12 06:27:02

He sounds wonderful. I hope the connection is as strong in RL. Good luck Skye, you deserve a little happiness.

skyebluesapphire Wed 14-Nov-12 09:30:23

Its booked for next Tuesday evening!! OMG! He emailed at 6.45am as he was leaving for work and is going to email at lunchtime. He cant email all day that now he is back at work :-( lol.

Ive got my grandads funeral today. He was a wonderful man, hardworking, moral, ethical and he worshipped my gran. she is bereft without him and doesnt really want to go to the funeral today. She sat and cried the other day about how she missed him and everything she felt was how I felt when twunt walked out on me... Im setting myself off again now, which is no good, Im looking forwards not backwards.....

My dad's dad died when he was 16 and my gran remarried to my grandad, who was also a widower, they were both in their 40's and have had over 40 happy years together. So there is hope for us all.

The fact he wasn't blood never ever came into it. I never referred to him as my step grandad, he was just grandad.

RIP Grandad xx

Hope It goes ok at your grandad funeral today Skye.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 14-Nov-12 11:28:51

A sad day but hope your happy memories give you comfort Skye.

captainmummy Wed 14-Nov-12 13:48:02

Hope your grandad's funeral goes ok skye. He sounds (as if he was) a wonderful man. We need more of them, not less.

BlooMoon Wed 14-Nov-12 21:43:22

Hope today went okay Skye and you and your Gran were able to give some comfort to one another.

Looking forward to hearing more about match man soon. I worry that I would carry forward my lack of trust into any new relationship, and therefore stifle it at an early stage. How have you managed to get past this, if you don't mind me asking?

skyebluesapphire Thu 15-Nov-12 00:36:35

Thanks. The funeral went ok, lovely speech that all the family contributed to. Lovely sunny day too. Gran got through it ok. I just stood with my arm round her while everybody filed past as she kept getting upset :-( but she is ok, just lost without him. I know how that feels... Difference is, she has lost a good man, I just lost a twat. grin

bloo the trust thing is weird, I talked to my counsellor about it and said how do i trust anybody else ever again, not so much about OW but the fact that he hid his true feelings for so long, how do i believe anyone who says that they want to be with me. she said that with the right person, the trust will be there. But it is very difficult ......

I trusted twunt with my life and the one thing I never ever thought he would do us leave me and walk out on his child....

With Match Man, lets call him MM, I feel like I can trust him because he has been through the same thing as me. I asked him if he would marry again and he said it would have to be someone special but he would. He said " if I don't, then I let what she has done change the person I am"

I think that he has a brilliant way of looking at it and want to try and be the same.....

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 15-Nov-12 00:54:52

Well I am glad you got through the day and were able to comfort your Gran.

I suppose having gone through the experiences of this year you are sadder but wiser and if you never risked loving a man again you'd not feel hurt but you'd not feel much else either.

Can quite see you falling in love and settling down again in the future but with mini Skye to consider this time I know you'll be careful and be as cautious building up trust as ever you could be. If anything seems too good to be true it usually is.

skyebluesapphire Thu 15-Nov-12 01:58:45

Yes, I would never rush into anything with MS to consider. She has to take priority and I'm not going to wheel a procession of men through her life.

I'm having a laugh, getting a buzz from the contact (can so understand twunts obsession with contacting OW now......) and I will go on the date and see what happens. It's a drink, or a meal if we both want to.

I agree with Donkey.

I can see you and in a year time happy with MM (or another) with mini Skye, business doing well, living in your own home.

While twat is living in a bedsit (having gone/going bankrupt) and still pretending nothing going on with OW, whether he is with someone else or not.

skyebluesapphire Thu 15-Nov-12 13:04:39

thanks, MM off sick all week, so have been emailing again all day, lol. he said he doesnt like tattoos, so I found a picture of a lady covered in tattoos, emailed it to him and said this is what I really look like..... grin.

Went to church to watch MS in her school performance today, wanted to cry, she and all the rest of them, looked and sounded so cute :-)

I so hope that the expectation lives up to the reality... I feel comfortable about meeting him as we have talked so much, but it would be so disppointing if the email attraction is not there in real life!

ooh, another email! Im so excited! lol. (somebody slap me, I need to get a grip...)

brianbennettfan Thu 15-Nov-12 17:03:33

<hands grip to skye, but refrains from slapping her>

Boy it's nice to 'hear' you so happy and positive.

Christmas performances by one's children are always tear-jerkers. I have howled my way through many a one in my time.

Good luck with MM.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 15-Nov-12 17:19:08

You are lucky - I don't have any little kids' concerts to attend and round here they're always ticketed events sold out waaay in advance.

I'm not going to wheel a procession of men through her life that would set tongues wagging! and anyway meet Match Man first, have a great time, it adds sparkle and puts a spring in your step.

skyebluesapphire Thu 15-Nov-12 19:48:58

It gets better and better, he lives cruises, it's always been my dream to go on one.

Been emailing all day again, look forward to it a lot, both agreed very nervous, scared that real life won't live up to the fantasy....

Shared a lot again today, both being honest (hopefully...)

He just ticks every box and I'm attracted to his personality and his photo, a lot..... Lets just hope we are attracted to each other....

I'm starting to feel sick already and it's not til Tuesday night!

brianbennettfan Thu 15-Nov-12 20:20:21

<hands skye another grip and a brew

skyebluesapphire Thu 15-Nov-12 21:20:34

Cheers! I'm getting carried away but it's such a lovely feeling, getting an email from him, and he makes me laugh.

My friends ate all laughing at me coz I'm all happy. Lol.

SpiderManMum Thu 15-Nov-12 21:51:13

Wow Skye, sounds like things with MM are going well. It's lovely that you are enjoying the friendship and it must be nice to have a bit of male attention too which always helps to boost the self confidence when it's taken such a kicking over the year.

Must be nerve wracking though to actually meet after getting on so well on email. Hope that he turns out to be what you hope for, there will be plenty of us waiting to hear how you get on! grin

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