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Practicalities of splitting up

4 replies

Nc4567 · 24/08/2012 07:08

So.. That's it really. We have two kids, 2yo and 5yo. We are married. Rent our house, but contract is p for renewal.

Main issue is geography. I'm currently at my parents house, 200 miles from school, dh, in laws, our house, etc. if I had to live alone (well, just with the kids) I would choose this town as I don't really know anyone by myself where we live now.

We claim benefits, but I have two (low paying) job. One job could ome wih me (self employed, but could set up again) but the other couldn't.

Neither of us drive.

Am I even allowed to move so far?

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ComplexityAndFecundityOfDreams · 24/08/2012 07:10

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Nc4567 · 24/08/2012 07:16

Children with me now, but obviously registered for school and nursery there.

More than willing to HE if need be, especially dd1 (dd2 is very... 2, lol, and is ver hard work if she doesn't have constant amusement)

Both towns in northern England. I grew up here, met dh here and we moved up there when his brother was ill and died 3 years ago. Feel bad for taking dds away from inlaws, but at the same time it would be a bit of a relief - lovely people, but overbearing, and dh is rubbish at keeping in touch with them so I bear the brunt if it.

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balotelli · 24/08/2012 07:36

You can do it. Things will be difficult to start with and will take some getting used to. You will be amazed at just how adaptable the DC are. It will be harder on you than them. As long as you can keep calm and reasonably happy then the DC will cope vey well.

HE is something I would reccommend as its what we do so i am biased and we are in the great North too.

There are many horror stories about separations but from personal experience after the first few weeks of self pity and depression I would without doubt say that it was the best thing I did for me and the DC. they are very happy and settled. One in college and one in full employment. I am now very happily married with another DD.

You will know what is best for you and your DC. If their DF isnt that bothered then dont push it as it wont work. Dont bad mouth him to the DC either . they will know the truth eventually and that is all that matters. As long as you love you DC and work hard to keep them safe and loved will wont have many problems.

Good luck and keep strong

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Nc4567 · 24/08/2012 07:48

He is very involved, I'm pretty sure he would want to continue.

I pretty much want to HE anyway, at least for a while. I'm thinking it could make it easier for dh and the kids to keep up a decent relationship as well, as we wouldn't be constrained by term time.