Social phobia/PTSD. Advice anyone?

[Gafrey1]

Hi, i'd be really grateful for any advice please.I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place with this but here goes anyway:

I was raped by my boss 9 years ago. Ever since then, on and off, I'm really struggling with what could be social phobia, although my gp and counsellor both suggest it's more likely to be PTSD.

University is a real struggle for me. Being asked questions in front of a group of people is incredibly difficult. It triggers flashbacks of being interviewed by police after the rape. Likewise, giving presentations is very difficult. Unless I'm talking one to one, I'm not very good at conversation.

I am wondering of anyone has experienced/is experiencing similar and if you have any strategies that you use to enable you to cope better with day to day activities, work/university/parent and toddler groups etc.

I'm feeling ok at the moment but have suicidal thoughts during stressful periods.

Any advice welcome. Thanks.

[Happylander]

Go have some CBT as this will help with everything really. PTSD is shite but I am getting there.

Oh and go see the student councillors who will consider your PTSD to be a disability and allow you to pass your presentations by only doing one on one.

Parent/toddler groups are in a league of your own not sure anyone really copes with them

Oh and try antidepressants they really helped me get to a level where I can tackle the PTSD head on.

[Happylander]

their own not your!! Sorry.

Oh and I have to work in an A and E dept and have flashbacks when I see intubated patients which is tricky...people are now used to me say 'I can't go in there I am nuts' or jumping into corridors or running off. Be open with people and your lecturers and tell them what makes you uncomfortable. It stops it being such a huge thing over time.

[Lizzabadger]

What sort of counselling are you having? Are you on medication?
It's worth trying some form of trauma-focused therapy. This should be available via a GP referral to your local IAPT service. There is some evidence that venlafaxine can be helpful too.

[cupcake78]

Do you live in an area where Rape Crisis are? They would be the ideal people to help you through this. Look on their website for locations.

What your describing is a horrible way to have to live but also a very normal reaction to such a traumatic event.

Your dr should hopefully have a good idea of what services are available in your area. With long term help (4 mths +) you can begin to regain control. Please keep some hope alive, sadly what your experiencing is common.

[Abitwobblynow]

I hope they managed to get your boss.

[Gafrey1]

Thank you ever so much for the replies. Some very useful places to try.

I should have said that I am currently taking Venlafaxine 75mg x3 a day and Quetiapine at night, the medication has helped but not as much as I had hoped.

I am also having counselling, but I'm not sure what type it is? I think my counsellor is very experienced and very good, but it's going to take time I realise.

I'm really trying to learn to cope with this, rather than not socialise/go to lectures etc, but it's so difficult.

Thank you for the suggestions.

[FanjoPingpong]

I also have PTSD after being r*ped. I definitely recommend telling student services or disability services about your PTSD - I did, and it really helped when I had a bit of a relapse and couldn't meet any deadlines.

I'm on Sertraline 200mg/day, but could do with more talking therapy, I think. Maybe approach a local women's centre? You might feel more comfortable there.

[Peacocklady]

Hi there I'm really sorry this happened to you.
I hadn't suffered any trauma but definitely experienced social phobia at university, in fact I chose the universities to apply for on the basis of whether they interviewed or not, I chose the ones that went on grades.
I would dread seminar groups and presentations, if there was a chance I would be expected to speak I'd spend the whole time with my heart racing simply trying to think about how to respond as quickly and invisibly as possible. Unfortunately I started blushing with anxiety as well which made me more noticeable and the blushing worse and was stuck in a vicious circle. I went to a uni counsellor and she told me to say some witty retort if anyone commented on my blushing (it was this that I feared the most). I realised I was unable to do what she was telling me and that she didn't understand and thought I was complaining about nothing.

I realised I would have to get over it myself because I was dreading going to shops, getting on buses, speaking within a group, I was basically frightened of people looking at me. I was still attending lectures and being with friends etc but there were frequent episodes and I felt like it was getting worse.

I looked in a mirror when I went red when I was on my own (I'd go red on the phone or thinking about things). I hated the sight but I made myself look and see that it was just redness. I would force myself to say things and not stop when I felt myself getting hot. I noticed other people blushing and carrying on. I realised that most people are too busy thinking about themselves to be judging me.
On a practical level I did say to a lecturer and boss that I couldn't speak in public and they were nice about it.

I can only say it can get better. Maybe tell you lecturers via email that you don't want to be called on unexpectedly in lectures but that you will try to volunteer comments. Try to remember, in the nicest possible way, that people are not that interested in you, they are not ready to laugh at you even if you say something ridiculous or forget, they are mainly thinking about their own issues.
Try to accomplish small tasks, e.g think of one question to ask in a seminar. Sit at the front so you don't have to see a row of faces turning to you when you speak.

There also could be help through student services. I once assisted a student with anxiety, I accompanied her to a lecture which was quite full so I left her outside while I moved a chair to the end of the row for her and got her to look through the door window to see exactly where to go.

[seaofyou]

What works for one doesnt always work for another...try everything you can! As already mentioned CBT...their is REM therapy, Neurolingistic programming (this worked for me), citralopam, hypnotherapy even spiritual healing...to forgive the evil evil pig to let go and move on

Please please see your university counselling service...these are often the best help/service and are truly fab esp uni by me!

[Lizzabadger]

It sounds like you in touch with psychiatric services and getting appropriate treatment.
It must be really hard trying to cope with university life. If things really get too much maybe you could take a break from your studies. In the meantime, perhaps it might help to think that you don't want your rapist to 'win' by continuing to influence your life. What happened was awful, and something no ons should have to go through, but do you really want a one-off incident, however awful, to define the rest of your life?
Try not to avoid doing things - "feel the fear and do it anyway" - and they should get easier with time.
Try not to push thoughts and images of the rape out of your head - this only makes them come back more.
You might want to get the books on PTSD and social phobia from the "Overcoming" series from your local library.
If you feel suicidal you can phone the Samaritans 24 hours a day.
Good luck.