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support for emotional eaters!!

(149 Posts)
DippyDoohdah Mon 06-Aug-12 20:22:42

Having had some really solid support on MN, I thought itwould be worth seeing if there are many other women who find themselves eating in order to occupy their minds, temporarily console themselves and to keep feelings pushed down!? Its got to the point where I have gone from voluptuous to matronly..not feeling my za za zing anymore! Really need to address weight for my health.its the evenings where I sit and pick, think, and also the evenings when I go on MN..so I thought, combine the two, and anyone else who sees something like this in themselves? Maybe we can support each other.smile

Shybairns Thu 09-Aug-12 07:42:41

javotte I think our bodies probably need sugar. Not a lot but it maybe works with other elements in our diet to keep us healthy. Hense when you deny your body it for a prolonged period you feel the need to boost your sugar levels. hmm Sound half way right??

Can I join you all please? I haven't read the whole thread yet, but I will do. I am overweight and I am emotional eater with a massive addiction to carbs and sugar. I am always tired (work p/t, dc aged 1 and 4) and I often eat to stay awake. I am also experiencing problems in my relationship at the moment and eat to get rid of the anxiety and nervousness I often feel (I have started smoking again as well, which is even more of a problem health-wise than the eating). To top it off my partner is also overweight and unhappy and eats piles and piles of crap, so we kind of enable eachother, and I find it so difficult to cut down when his crisps are in the house and he is offering me fatty foods all of the time.

I have not been slim since I was about 18 (fluctuated between a 16 and a 20 since then). My Mum has food issues and put me on my first diet when I was 3. I now refuse to diet as I think it is wrong on so many levels (doesn't work long-term, makes an unhealthy relationship with eating worse, feminist ideals), but I really want to start eating healthily for life.

I eat healthily and am a very good cook, but I eat too much, and binge between meals. I often convince myself, as I am cramming Victoria Sponge into my mouth in secret in the kitchen, that because it is home-baked cake with no additives it is okay! I know this is bollocks and I need some help and support to stop this behaviour sad.

DippyDoohdah Thu 09-Aug-12 16:11:53

Welcome Brubber! I can relate to all of your circumstances except I don't do home cooking much! Will check in later as supposed to be working!
Have decided to cut down on sugar in a mindful way.not sure if today is best day as got head cold but when is ever the best day for challenge?!

javotte Thu 09-Aug-12 16:23:17

8rubber I do that too! I cook everything from scratch and I am quite a good baker, and I often tell myself that eating half a devil's food cake is OK because it doesn't contain any processed crap (incidentally, it doesn't stop me from bingeing on processed biscuits and crisps too).

I am glad I am not the only one! I forgot to say earlier as well that it is very difficult for me to lose weight due to Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which I think makes it harder for me to stop my negative emotional patterns with eating. I am also going for a Gluten Intolerance test soon as my Mum is coeliac and I can't get enough carbs down my mouth. I am kind of scared of being told not to eat wheat and other gluten, as gluten carbs are one of my main crutches and actually make me happy after I eat them for oh, about 10 minutes sad.

KinkyDorito Thu 09-Aug-12 16:39:19

think carefully about prozac

I will read this thread properly in a minute, but wanted to say be very careful with prozac as it made my eating issues far worse and I piled on over 2st when I started taking it (wasn't thin to start with). Only now, 5 months out of my system, is my eating getting a bit more controllable. I have horrendous eating issues, but agree with Paul Mckenna, which is helpful, and am now reading the Beck Solution which is CBT for supporting a diet.

Shybairns Thu 09-Aug-12 17:43:20

Urgh! was doing well today untill my ex showed up to take the kids for tea. My DS crying his eyes out cos he didn't want to go and my mum telling me to bring him back in the house.
2 beers and a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar down. I still feel like crap and now I'm full of junk. sad

javotte Thu 09-Aug-12 18:32:52

Sorry about your DCs, shybairns. When will they be back?

gettingeasier Thu 09-Aug-12 19:40:32

Well I have read this thread each time I see a new post

When I was going through my marriage stuff I posted willy nilly all kinds of personal feelings on a long running thread on relationships

However I am struggling to post on here now even though I overeat and have recently had my tipping point of feeling unhappy about my size and knowing I need to stop thinking and start doing

Will be back , nearly brave enough smile

DippyDoohdah Thu 09-Aug-12 21:20:39

Hi gettingeasier, know what you mean about thinking and doing. welcome, hope we hear from you again smile

gettingeasier Thu 09-Aug-12 22:12:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sylvana Thu 09-Aug-12 22:19:40

Hi javotte sorry just getting back to this thread now. If you can give up sugar for 4-5 months you really are over the worst and are sabotaging all your hard work by eating it again - but then you already know that grin

If I feel like a biscuit I will have the plainest one there is .... Rich Tea. And lets be honest, there is no way you're going to eat a whole packet of Rich Tea!

The thing about sugar is the more you eat of it the more you crave it. You get a spike in energy when you eat it, then you get the crash and you crave more and more. Its very hard to regulate your eating/food intake when you keep putting this into your body.

Understanding that really put it into perspective for me.

DippyDoohdah Thu 09-Aug-12 22:29:32

Hi getting.that was a start! Only post what you are ok with, don't leave yourself too wide open but everyone on here has been lovely so hopefully there is some gentle support if you want it..otherwise maybe some counselling if you feel there is a lot bubbling under.I just started some counselling this afternoon and her guidance was to get self a foot spa and start there!..lots of issues but basically failed marriage, struggle as single mum to two young boys, weight gain, self doubt....well, parents had the boys tonight so I did foot spa, lovely! The best bit though was that I was so relaxed that I could not be bothered to jump up to go rummaging around the kitchen cupboards! grin ! Night all.

qumquat Thu 09-Aug-12 23:38:15

Hi Javotte,

Sorry only just back to the thread. L-Glutamine supplements really helped me to beat sugar cravings, and now I follow the programme of 'Potatoes not Prozac' by Kathleen DesMaisons (look it up on Amazon!) which has made it all so much easier as I no longer get the sugar lows which lead to me craving sugar. The basic gist of it is lots of protein and complex carbs, but it leads you into it gently step by step with no cold turkey or overwhelming rules to get your head around. What is so refreshing about it is that it takes away the emotions and focuses on the bio-chemistry; it is often the food causing the bad feelings, not vice versa. It's amazing the difference eating 3 meals a day, with sufficient protein and complex carbs, has made to overall mood and outlook on life. I'm considering coming off ADs after 10 years.

I have absolutely NO sugary foods in the house and also no cheese (my other vice) DP moans but as I repeatedly say, he wouldn't force an alcoholic to keep vodka in the kitchen. I also rarely eat white carbs as they have a very similar effect on the body as sugar. I do eat fruit and milk and other things with natural sugars, but nothing with added sugar.

I also like to keep my sugar-revulsion topped up to keep me motivated. There's a classic book called 'Sugar Blues', also '101 ways to keep the sugar out' by Anne Louise Gittleman is a good book with lots of practical tips. Sugar has been in the news recently following the TV series 'The Men who made us Fat' - google this and Jacques Peretti (who made the series) for some really interesting articles. There's also a Youtube video doing the rounds, I haven't seen it yet but I think it's called 'The truth about sugar', will post the link when I find it.

As an aside, in my bingeing days I would have had NO problem eating a whole packet of rich teas!

Sorry for long post, I could talk about this forever!

qumquat Thu 09-Aug-12 23:43:12

As promised:

First, the hefty "Sugar: The Bitter Truth" (90 minutes, but still 2.6 million views!):
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM

Then the bite-sized "The Skinny On Obesity", all in digestible chunks. Much of the material is covered in "Sugar: The Bitter Truth" but it's interesting to see it explained in different ways and with much better infographics too:
www.uctv.tv/skinny-on-obesity/

javotte Fri 10-Aug-12 11:06:57

Thanks qumquat. I agree that the "chemical" part of food (esp. sugar) addiction is often overlooked. I know my body very well and I can feel the effects on sugar when I eat it.
I am dreading my 7mth appointment on Monday. I'm having a stressful time (my grandmother died recently and my parents are divorcing) so I'm putting on lots of weight.

There is loads of really useful information on here, thanks everybody. Now I need to sit down and order a couple of books and read / watch some of the links. Something is stopping me, but I know it is just that once I start I will have to face up to things.

Last night was a baaaaaad night, it is ds's 4 th birthday party tomorrow and dp and me were up until 11 making dinosaur biscuits and cupcakes, I imbibed so much sugar I felt like I was on Class A drugs by the time I went to bed, just through licking the spoon / testing etc.

DP was being really needy in the night and this morning and I felt under so much pressure I had a cigarette as soon as I got into work and ate a cheese and chilli flatbread from the bakery at 10am shock and have eaten about 5 chocolate biscuits and 7 Celebrations. They were all lying around in work by the kettle for everyone to share. I feel sick.

DippyDoohdah Fri 10-Aug-12 22:42:58

8rubber...most of us will have had plenty of days like that.chalk it up to bad choices and 2moro is a nw day.dinosaur biscuits wow! My 2 yr old would bang yr door down for them!

Houseofplain Fri 10-Aug-12 23:02:27

I used to be an ea. It's also well documented that ea is linked to past abuse. Such as marriages, sexual abuse.

I had 4 pregnancies and gradually gained 5st. Until last Xmas. I felt, ill, really sick. I'm a young good looking woman, but my god I was fat and sick, really sick.

So I made a choice to change. I had sugar cravings, all that, ate when stressed. Well I've lost 5st since jan. I'm back to "my best" and being healthy.

Cut right down on carbs. It's hard at first. But carbs give you a rush, they are addictive. They cause you to feel hungry. Also you store water for every part carb you eat. You go over the glycogen you store in your liver. You store fat when eating carbs.

So at first it's hard. Eat more protein based salads. Eat more fruit and veg. I'm not a veggie. But I'll have quorn mince, with balsamic vinegar and Worcester sauce. Low cheat snack. High protein, low carb, low fat. I will have normal meats, but I also have quorn based meats.

It's so hard at first to cut all the refined shit out. But do it you can. You then realise you were addicted. Bread was my weakness. Remember refined carbs go to sugar instantly in the blood. So cut right back. Ease out the crap.

I still had some wine, some chocolate, a takeaway. But it was treats. Not every day. I soon adapted to lean meats and salads during the week. Infact if I go out now, I positively avoid carby/fatty stuff. I prefer healthier stuff.

My sports mad dh does not recognise me grin my ex manicurist turned up today delivering dominos of all things for my kids. She never recognised me!!

javotte Sat 11-Aug-12 08:02:46

Hi houseofplain. I know how amazing it makes you feel when you stick to a low-carb diet (even my hair and skin look better). So why do I always end up sabotaging my efforts after a few months? sad

Houseofplain Sat 11-Aug-12 09:31:14

I think you have got to have a light bulb moment. My diet was practically all carbs, no other foods really. I could easily go through packets and packets of crisps and biscuits.

But at Christmas my ibs got so bad, I was in agonising pain amd thought something was really wrong. My wake up call.

Every now and then I have a mini sabotage. But I reign it in ASAP as I start to feel so sick. So I'm a way ibs is a blessing. Whod have thought!

Sylvana Sat 11-Aug-12 10:07:31

Houseofplain A massive well done to you torch What an achievement !

I don't eat any sugar but I still eat bread .... so my next goal is to given them up too. Your post has given me the inspiration.

Can I ask what you eat for breakfast ?? I can't come up with any low carb breakfast ideas.

Houseofplain Sat 11-Aug-12 10:21:25

Depends. I either have a yoghurt, with some fruit. Or if ive got time. Trimmed grilled bacon, scrambled eggs and tomatoes.

Sylvana Sat 11-Aug-12 10:35:37

Yoghurt & fruit is a great idea and the grill for the weekend would be a nice treat.

javotte Sat 11-Aug-12 11:53:26

freaklikeme when I am in a low-carb phase I usually have low-fat fromage frais with a handful of frozen raspberries. Fromage frais has more protein than yogurt and keeps me full longer.

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