I have been married for 14 years. I was only 20 when we settled down and bought a house together. We have 2 children, aged 9 and 3.
In the early days of our relationship, my husband was somewhat flaky and untrustworthy. I however, was besotted with him and could never face the prospect of leaving him.
He did however gradually grow up, and since we've had the children he has been very reliable and dependable.
He is a very placid, laid-back person who will do anything for an easy life. He has very little interest in anything, has no opinions on anything, has little in the way of a sense of humour, and absolutely no 'drive' to achieve or get things done.
Now this sort of thing didn't bother me much when I was younger. I still enjoyed his company and I suppose a critical factor in the attraction was looks. As I have got older I am finding all this apathy very unattractive and am really questioning whether I would be at all interested in him, if I was to meet him now.
Over the last 6 months, I have become very close to a man at work who is the complete opposite of dh. He's confident, opinionated, makes me laugh, and has lots of 'drive' for life. We are both clearly very attracted to each other, but equally neither of us want to destroy our families.
Physically, we have never let things go any further than kissing and I have now transferred to another part of the business so that we no longer see each other, although we do keep in touch by text.
Before all this with OM, I have never so much as glanced at another bloke. I have been besotted with dh for many years.
This OM has completely burst that bubble. Now I realise what it would be like to have a relationship with somebody that I can laugh and chat with on an equal level.
Sadly, I doubt very much that there is a future for me with OM. It is just too messy, and too many people will be hurt.
So now I am left wondering, is it possible for me to get through this phase of my life and 'fall back in love' with dh? Or, now that I have 'seen the light' am I never going to satisfied with the relationsip I've got?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
'Another man' has made me realise just how much my husband is not right for me. Is there any way back from this?
HazeyGaze · 01/08/2012 14:32
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