Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
womens attitudes to crossdressing(878 Posts)
i write this as a response to the numerous comments on a variety of posts regarding reaction to any stories where crossdressing is a subject. Firstly i'd like to make it clear that i am male and as such appreciate i may be laying myself bare to the onslaught of comment that is likely to come my way. although male i love to wear "womens clothes". What I would like to know is simply why shouldn't I. can anyone give me one valid reason why I shouldn't? because I have never been able to think of one.
I am happily married with two dds and a beautiful wife , all of whom i love very much. My wife knows all about my dressing and has been with me to a couple of tv gatherings. i told her not long after we got together and she was totally fine with it, we have been married now for 8 yrs. we do not let the children know as they are still quite young.
In all other respects I am very much one of the lads......I like football and beer (but then so do many women!), i work in construction, I teach martial arts, I help with housework , I don't mind ironing(coz i can do it while watching tv!)
I take a size 10 and look pretty good in a skirt and heels, but then so does my wife, its just she can do it whenever she pleases and good for her. its just the injustice and ignorance of society that infuriates me.
I'm curious to know how the rest of women feel about the issue
Sorry to keep this going, but I've given up most of the last two days reading this thread, and just wanted to stick my oar in...
First off, I'm a bloke (sort of!) I have a blokey streak a foot-and-a-half wide running down my back, but I also have a 'girlie' streak a foot wide in roughly the same place. I can be (boringly) blokey when I am that way inclined, and can be similarly (boringly) girlie.
I don't (or try not to) emulate extremes of either gender - it just wouldn't work. I look good in jeans and a t-shirt (not bad for a 50-something), am still quite slim (30" waist but spreading alarmingly) and am not that tall by male standards (five-and-a-half foot short). However, I've got largish feet (size 8) and biggish (man) hands. My finger and toe nails are usually painted.
Sometimes I wear jeans, sometimes a skirt, occasionally a dress. Only at home, and my two daughters (11 and 13) are fine with it (they just see 'me'). My hair is too long for an old bloke, it is highlighted regularly, and I have a bigger collection of styling products than my dw (including, I'm ashamed to admit, velcro rollers, that my kidz also see me in regularly, and really don't care).
My dw doesn't mind if I wear a skirt or do my hair - she still likes me as a person but doesn't fancy me, and frankly I don't blame her! If she wore a false tash, a man's suit, and stuffed a pair of socks (or two) down the front of her trousers I would (I hope) still like her, but I certainly wouldn't fancy her!
Some women know and like it. Some women know and don't like it. Most really don't care. Same with men, some who know me make the odd comment (good and bad) but most really couldn't give a monkeys. Some of my clients know - as long as it doesn't affect my work they are not bothered.
I spent years (and probaly still do) looking for validation, especially from the female of the species. My singular brain-cell is gradually coming round to the fact that this ain't gonna happen; if I can't accept all of me, then why should I ask anyone (male or female) to do it for me? And I do struggle sometimes. It's a constant battle but I know where the boundaries are, I know when I look 'OK' and when I look a twat, and I know what clothing, make-up etc is appropriate for the occasion even if I have to compromise and then sulk a bit!
If dw wants to sit and chat and share a huge choccy bar then me as a she is OK. If, on the other hand, dw wants to play under the duvet, then it has to be me as he.
I guess what these twatacious ramblings are trying to say there is no easy answer to the OP. Some like it, some get it, some hate it, most don't care (as long as it isn't their partner). My dw married a bloke, and I married a woman. My dw is 100% hetero, and so am I.
I can be a 'female' friend to my dw, but not a 'female' lover. And that, to me, is fantastic. I get to be 'me' (whatever that is) pretty much when I want, but dw keeps her hubby (as a hubby, not as a pretend wife).
OK, I'll get back under my rock now....
Twice removed, there is nothing contentious there.
You are happy, your wife is happy, youare simply expresing yourself, no big deal.
Twice removed: speaking as the XW of a cross dresser who was totally obsessed with it, you sound very balanced.
Best wishes to you and your family.
I was thinking of this thread when I heard that Arriva male train drivers in Sweden went to work in skirts earlier this month, as they were not allowed to wear shorts.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.