Apart from internet dating

[bucketbetty]

what can I do to meet someone new. Internet dating isn't for me, I've been trying it for the best part of this year but no luck. I can't bear the thought of being on my own forever (it's already been 8 years). I'm a single parent with a young child and so can't do evening classes because I have no one to look after him. Any thoughts anyone?

[mermaid101]

I don't know how you would feel about this, but a friend of mine was in a similar situation and she told everyone she knew she was looking for a boyfriend and sort of enlisted everyone's help. So for example, if I was going to a work night out (these are regular and informal at my job) i would invite her along, in case she liked anyone there. Or, I took her as a plus one to a wedding with me instead of my DH as he wasn't that fussed about going. Basically she got everyone she knew to help her get out there and meet people.

The only thing is that she didn't have children and could get out whenever she wanted at night. It made sense to me. I thought it was a pretty logical way of tackling a problem and everyone else seemed pretty on board and willing to help.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

My ex-SIL always reckoned you met a better class of single male at the yacht and tennis clubs. :)

[bucketbetty]

Cogito... , I'll sign myself up straight away!

[Numberlock]

I'll be watching this thread with interest as I'm also not a fan of internet dating (too many people who only want to exchange endless messages instead of meeting in the 'real world').

What I decided to do instead is put myself in situations where I'm likely to meet like-minded people. For interest I love arthouse/world cinema so I regularly go to our local cinema on my own and get there early to have a drink in the bar. I'm a big Smiths fan and the other week I went on a walking tour (I live in Manchester obviously). The same company do other music-related walks and talks. I've also done various other similar things that things that interest me.

Each time I make sure i get talking to various people and it's easy to start a conversation as you know you have something in common straight way. I reckon the more people I meet, the more chance of meeting someone I would like to date. It's a numbers game. So far there's been no 'sparks' but I've got invited along to another couple of social things. Take a book or newspaper too which can be an ice-breaker.

And on nights out/weekends away with friends, if I see someone I like the look of I'll make a point of smiling and saying hello and strike up a conversation at the bar etc. Last time I went out with a friend, I got chatting to an interesting guy and we went for lunch a few days later.

I still do the internet dating too as there's no harm staying on a couple of sites 'just in case' but I don't think that's where I'll end up meeting someone.

Have you tried speed dating?

[bucketbetty]

Hi number, I'm very impressed. It sounds like you're doing all the right things. One good thing about internet dating is that it affords you another avenue to meet or just chat with men. I've tried speed dating and enjoyed it but I have next to no spare time without my son. I love a previous posters idea to get everyone you know to keep their antenna erect and sending out signals. Unfortunately none of my friends seem to have any single friends but i ll keep plugging away.

[Numberlock]

One of my friends jokingly suggested that I should get my sons' schools to give me a list of all the single dads :-)

[UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea]

Sports clubs! Tennis, running, badminton, anything (except female-heavy classes like Zumba). You can bring along your son sometimes (e.g. children's coaching at the same time as adult sessions. Or enrol the son and join the club committee.

This is always my advice for meeting men, I have a theory that men who enjoy sport in a social situation like this are less likely to be loopers.

Good luck :)

[Numberlock]

Love the user name, Unexpected!

[UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea]

Thank you Numberlock :) (the story behind it is a little less frivolous but they say laughter is the best medicine and all that)

[Numberlock]

Aah, I see Unexpected, hope I haven't caused any offence. xx

[flatbellyfella]

Lots of MNers must have single men they know ,that are looking for a good woman to enter their lives. Come on ladies,get them brain cells working for Bucketbetty.

[Numberlock]

We should start a Mumsnet version of My Single Friend for random introductions.

[Alameda]

Go somewhere on the train, I have a date lined up for when I get back from my holiday with a slightly crinkly actor I met last week. I often pick up stalkers meet interesting men on trains.

Other good places: gym, teachers at daughter's school friends of friends, courses (accidentally got engaged to a coke dealing neonazi that I met on a British horse society course of all things)

I think about doing internet dating, and met someone who was nice but not for me on a sort of sporty dating site, but I like the serendipitous real life encounters.

[bucketbetty]

Genius flatbelly. I'm happy to provide a photo and a profile for any of you lovely ladies with a single male friend. :)

[UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea]

Numberlock - no offence taken! It's more embarassing than serious

bucketbetty - all my single male friends are single for good reasons! I don't know if I would foist any on you, you sound far too nice.

I like the idea of a Mumsnet My Single Friend though.

Alameda - "accidentally got engaged to a coke dealing neonazi that I met on a British horse society" - I have a vision of you falling off a horse into an engagement ring

[hatesponge]

I'll be watching with interest for suggestions, as I find internet dating a bit of a waste of my valuable time. The only men I find via online dating are either entirely uninterested in me once they meet me (and vice versa) or simply looking for a one night stand.

I'm not a club type person, can't bear earnest intellectuals as I'm a bit of a pleb And I wouldn't go near the personal hygiene challenged individuals I encounter on the train!

[maleview70]

Number...if I wasn't already taken your interest in the smiths would automatically make you interesting to me. Have you tried the star and garter smiths night in Manchester? You would certainly meet like minded people there !

[janesnowdon1]

www.meetup.com/ This site lists lots of social gropus meeting in a city or area - film nights, lunch clubs, book groups etc

Would also echo that sports clubs are good - especially if they have social drinks after sessions or outings. Apparently the Ramblers is also a good source of men.

[Alameda]

(for avoidance of doubt am luckily no longer 'engaged' or in any way involved, was just an example of how easy it is to meet weirdos people without Internet dating)

[bucketbetty]

My son is very active and there are lord of dads but they're all very much attached. Unexpected, story of my life.
No men folk about. It's slim pickins. I've decided to get fat instead. :)

[bucketbetty]

Lots not lords

[Numberlock]

Male view - thanks for that! Yes I've been there a couple of times and met some nice people. The dating thing for me is more the icing on the cake, I'm happy with my life, good job, friends, social life, but have been divorced ten years and single for a year so happy to meet someone whenever it happens.

[Lovemy3kids]

I'll be watching this thread as I am in the same boat. Have tried internet dating, but as has previously been mentioned, most are only interested in a one night stand. I don't have any single male friends, they are all attached. I did join meetup, but there are no events in my area, the nearest one is nearly 40 miles away :(

I like the idea of enlisting my friends to find me a man....though they all know I'm single and would have done that anyway by now. I have 3 DC and don't get alot of time to myself, so dating is not easy

[Taghain]

DP swears that if she wanted a man, she'd go mountain biking. It's mainly a man's sport, they are fit by definition and often comfortably off, and it's easy to strike up a conversation when someone overtakes or resting by a gate.
There are also plenty of clubs which organise weekend rides, and there are the ones semi-organised by the rival forum, Singletrackworld.

[BigBandwitch]

Has anybody ever gone to one of those more upmarket dating agencies? I'm not sure they'd even take me on, I'm 42 and I live in rented accom. and although I'm not unattractive I don't think I'd ever fit in to the trophy category.... not that I'd want to. But the IDEA of having a human being speak to you, get a sense of you and try to match you up with somebody they think you might click with, that appeals to me. For a start, there'd be no chance any of them would be married!