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Can i convince DP to be circumcised...

(330 Posts)
ockytockyonga Fri 06-Jul-12 19:21:13

I know this is a controversial subject, but just wanted some advice. I have name changed as this is so personal I want to protect DP.

DP's foreskin does not pull back at all, not even a bit. He should have had it fixed as a child, when it started giving him trouble, but I don't think his Mother wouldn't allow it.

He is very sensitive about it and doesn't like to discuss it. We have spoken before but he gets very defensive.

Basically, because of the way his Penis is he doesn't get stimulation from the normal backwards and forward motion. He prefers a very tight grip at the tip with sort of circular motions. Because of this it means he doesn't get much out of PIV sex. I am either too tight and it hurts, as it pulls his foreskin back. Or i am too wet and then the grip is not hard enough.

But also because of this there are other effects. His penis seems to store wee in the end, so it smells bad. I really don't like putting it in my mouth as it tastes so bad - I have gagged and almost vomited before.

The only sex he seems to get decent stimulation from is if I hold a flat vibrator firmly onto the end of his penis. Also he doesn't really like kissing or oral on me. So he will use a vibrator on me in return. I am starting to find our sex life really limited and unfulfilling. Although we both orgasm it is a bit clinical.

On a hygiene issue, the penis leaks wee onto his pants and trousers so i can often smell his groin. Also because the hole is on the side, his wee comes out at a 90 degree angle so is often all over the bathroom floor and sprays everywhere.

When I have asked him about circumcision he gets very distressed and says it's part of him and it is like him asking me to get a boob job. I don't think it is the same as that is purely cosmetic.

I love him so much but i really don't want this to be my sex life for the rest of my life. I just think he would enjoy sex so much more if he had a circumcision. Does anyone have any experience of this?

Okay, flame me for being dreadful...

whatthewhatthebleep Mon 15-Oct-12 11:12:05

there could be all sorts getting trapped in the space between the foreskin and his penis. The natural lubricants and sweat glands will be producing excretions and these will be stuck inside if he can't retract the foreskin to clean the area.

This is a major problem and he must see someone about it. He will have pain and it could be due to this alone, especially as you say even your tongue can cause pain at the end/tip area

Pee being trapped too...this is so worrying and I'm surprised he hasn't had infections before now due to the trapped excretions and pee getting trapped like this.

From a health point of view...he really must see someone about this. Embarrassment is just so silly to justify not doing this for himself and his health.

There was a section about this very issue on that programme about our bodies....a young guy with the same sort of issues....it was dealt with and sorted and the guy was delighted at the end....you should have seen the 'stuff'..yuk.... that was stuck in there when he first went to see about it.
I'd be thinking that if pee is getting trapped in there, then other things must be too....smeggy, cheesy yuk and that isn't going to shift by itself either....
Your DH needs to realise this is a very easily treated condition and dangerous to his health to be ignoring like this...really

Offred Mon 15-Oct-12 12:07:17

Wobbly that is an awful thing to say and actually just incorrect. You know nothing at all about what happened with ocky's birth or pregnancy and it simply is not true that they must have known and deliberately mishandled the birth because of trying to reduce c-sections! How is that meant to help ocky feel better? You have no idea what went on and even if some of your assumptions about agendas were true it actually isn't true that they must have known the baby was too big, that it couldn't fit or even that that was actually the problem rather than the induction! Just wow!

whatthewhatthebleep Mon 15-Oct-12 13:00:08

So sorry....my post missed quite a lot of things...I was way off with my post...think MN didn't show me all pages properly so I was way behind in your story

Lovely news of your little boy...poor you for such a traumatic time of things though...I think wobbly has a point in that post though....seems there were many sign posts before you were lead into this situation happening to you????

Great news ref DH...hope he gets his appointment for this soon....new things on the horizon...great news all round grin

Hope you are feeling like your recovering now and starting to feel the enjoyment of your new motherhood journey....x

MyDonkeysAZombie Mon 15-Oct-12 13:04:35

I'm not a midwife but good grief time and a place to rant?

Abitwobblynow Thu 18-Oct-12 09:33:30

Ocky if I have upset you I really apologise, let me know and I will pull my post.

The irony is I do postnatal support for NCT - it might shock people that I am good at it: new mothers come from outside my area to be reassured and soothed. So I will talk happily to you about traumatic births if you would like.

Hope your site is healing. Who did the repairs: a registrar? How long did you stay in hospital for?

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