Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Startingagain trying to move forward, without nightmare EXP

(783 Posts)
startingagain88 Tue 15-May-12 14:46:41

New thread for my ongoing journey of trying to detached from my nightmare, exp while trying to hold on to my sanity sad

Old thread here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1437647-Starting-Again-Moving-Forward-Onwards-and-Upwards

midwife99 Tue 15-May-12 16:45:01

I thought he loved you?!!! And missed you?? BOLLOCKS!!!

startingagain88 Tue 15-May-12 16:46:06

I know, im am so upset im crying and crying ...........

KirstyWirsty Tue 15-May-12 16:46:14

Right .. he didn't take long to show his true colours did he?? Hope you are ok??

What is your solicitor saying to reassure you?

xxxxxxx

midwife99 Tue 15-May-12 16:46:54

He's a liar. Please change phone numbers & do not answer the door to him again angry

RoxyRobin Tue 15-May-12 16:52:29

How distressing! Try to be strong, dear. The absolute and utter bastard.

Perhaps you really should change your number now - all contact through your solicitor.

We are all thinking about you xxxxxxxx

PooPooInMyToes Tue 15-May-12 16:53:43

What a cunt!

FanDanceLil Tue 15-May-12 16:57:01

I have been following your thread for a while but haven't really had any advice to add to the fantastic advice you've already received.

I am in full agreement with everyone here that you must break contact with this man. Please don't let him drag you down with him.

I am certain that if he had a legitimate claim on your home he would have gone to a solicitor much sooner.

If he's in the sh*t, leave him to it. It was entirely his own doing.

Hope your ok.

Please report him to the police so they have a record if your need it later.

Speak to your solicitor about an injunction on him so he can't harass your anymore.

PooPooInMyToes Tue 15-May-12 16:58:39

Id get an injunction. He's been hassling you, pressuring you and has just trespassed on your property. Time to get help in making him back off!

As for his going for half of everything, let him try!

midwife99 Tue 15-May-12 17:00:25

Tell your solicitor everything inc the trespass today

Xales Tue 15-May-12 17:00:49

Are you still feeling guilty, wanting him to hold you and thinking you can fix things with him?

He will not have any money to use a solicitor. You have had decent advise re his rights over your house.

Use the police. That is what they are there for. Please do not back down thinking this is not worth the police time!

Do not open the front door again and make sure everything is secure before you go out.

Sorry it has come to this sad

Please seriously consider what we have all told you and either get his number blocked on the home and mobile or change both numbers.

izzyizin Tue 15-May-12 17:05:33

The mask is well and truly off. Dry your tears, honey. It's time to play hardball.

Don't panic and don't go rushing to pay instruct solicitors. Just wait to see if you get any correspondence from his alleged lawyer.

I say 'alleged' because, unless your solicitor spoke to his and has obtained their name. verified their credentials, and called them back, I very much doubt that the twunt has a solicitor let alone that he conveniently happened to be with them when your solicitor made the call.

In any event, this latest stunt that the twunt has performed is more properly dealt with by the police and, hopefully, they'll have a word in his shell-like and this'll be the last time he pulls such a stunt... although I very much doubt it.

The way this is moving along, I reckon we'll all need something stronger than a brew, AF.

RachyRach30 Tue 15-May-12 17:07:22

I hope your okay.. Very angry and nasty. I am glad you have seen him for what he really is, a scrounging money grabber.

Tell him if he wants contact it's through solicitors this time. He can't speak to you just your solicitor. If he comes round you will call the police.

Helltotheno Tue 15-May-12 17:14:44

He is a useless excuse for a man. You need to get yourself a heart of stone here hon. Do your own list of what you've effectively given him over the years financially. Start making a case.

This twat didn't even have the wit to take the 'slowly does it' approach and reel you in, which is lucky for you because now you see him in all his useless cocklodginess.

He never brought anything to the table for you but luckily you have the rest of your life to live. Take everyone's advice. Change your number and only let your Solr deal with him. Take out a restraining order against him.

TheLastNameLeft Tue 15-May-12 17:14:51

*marking place on new thread.. have to go start dinner but will read back in a sec..thought we'd lost you for a bit starting

Be back in a sec to catch up X

MaBumble Tue 15-May-12 17:20:01

Oh sweetheart, I thought he would turn into bastard mode, but god he didn't waste much time did he?
And yes, wait intill you hear from his 'solicitor' , but do see if you can get something in place to stop him haressing you.
It's awful, but in a perverse way he is doing you a favour.
If he'd been less of a selfish entitled prick he might actually have worn you down.
Remember this is all his own doing, you owe him nothing.

startingagain88 Tue 15-May-12 17:37:30

I feel so alone, he lied to me again i cant stand this anymore sad

meredeux Tue 15-May-12 17:41:08

I wish I had more time to write... I am so sorry. Put the chain on the door. Lock the house down. Call your brother.

I think it is time to have him officially told to leave you alone, ideally by the police.

Keep thinking... this moment will pass.

meredeux Tue 15-May-12 17:41:28

He has a very low IQ though, doesn't he?

midwife99 Tue 15-May-12 17:44:14

You're not alone we're here plus the new friends you have started to make. He will ALWAYS lie to you. He is an addict.

RachyRach30 Tue 15-May-12 17:45:16

Starting you really don't have to stand this anymore and take this.... Get some space from him. Don't speak to him. I now he came round today but you need to call police if he won't go, tell him he can't come in. If he tries then its police time as he would be doing this when you said no.

izzyizin Tue 15-May-12 17:45:29

You know he's a liar and he's going to keep on lying.

WIth umpteen mumsnetters hanging on your every word, you're far from being alone.

Have the police been or are you still waiting for them?

izzyizin Tue 15-May-12 17:47:55

When he took the key why did he try it in the garage door? Is there still stuff in the garage that he can claim is his?

RachyRach30 Tue 15-May-12 17:49:53

I'm thinking about this further andi wouldn't be surprised if he is still seeing her and she's put him up to this to get some money.i wouldn't put it past her... She sounds like a right one... And a rough one!

His intentions are clear all he wants is money And he's prepared to say and do anything to get it even professing undying love for you. Thing is you and everyone on this thread can see it because his actions aren't of a man in love with a woman but of a man looking for money and as much as he can get.

Stay strong he's still managing to hurt you.

TheLastNameLeft Tue 15-May-12 17:53:40

Oh I cannot believe what he has done, what a cold calculating arse he is starting.

I was going to post on your last thread that you havent let him use you because you havent let him come back to you but if you did use you HE WILL.

My heart really goes out to you, he is NOT the man you thought you knew for 15 years XX

Please dont let him hurt you again, I second Izzy's post at 17:05

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now