Pissed off with SIL/BIL

[spangles]

Our 3rd child was born in Jan and I made it known that I didnt want any visitors for 2 days after the birth firstly to get some much needed rest and secondly to allow my 20 mth old DS chance to get used to the new arrival. everyone has been fine about this except my DHs brother and his wife. I gave birth at 8am and he rang them to tell them the good news and he mentioned that I was coming home the same day and they wanted to come round that night! when he said I didnt want visitors for 2 days SIL got stroppy about it and hasnt been in touch since, and hasnt seen her new niece. This is 6 weeks ago and I am really annoyed that she took my request the way she did.
Sorry, just wanted to let off some steam.
was I being un reasonable... what are your opinions and what would you do if this happened to you.

[Stilltrue]

Very unreasonable. They shouldn't be in such a stupid strop. I've had 4 children and every time have wanted nothing more than to retreat for a day or 2 and get to know my new baby. My mil really upset me by bustling around in the hospital, bringing fil, sil and 2 grandchildren about 12hrs after the birth of ds1! It can be overwhelming.

Have you a sensible mil to build bridges/be your advocate ?

[Sparklemagic]

I can see both sides, spangle. People get carried along by the excitement of a new birth, ring up out of the kindness of their hearts, only to be rejected. I personally can TOTALLY see why you made the request and can see how that family time would have been precious, so I don't disagree with what you did; but people do feel rejected if told they are not 'allowed' to visit. Perhaps your DH could have said "She's exhausted, but it would be lovely to see you for five minutes". My DH did this with people, told them he thought I'd be tired after literally five minutes - and I think people then felt they were helping to look after me in a way, so took care to stay only five minutes, no-one outstayed their welcome.

It's just a thought of how it could have been dealt with in a more 'including' way but TBH they should have accepted what your DH said and visited another day - and to not visit or see new baby for six weeks is totally playground stuff. I personally would have accepted it with good grace and I think most people would.

Do they have kids? Do you think they understand about how you feel after having a baby?

[waterfalls]

Could they be waiting for an invite?

[fireflyfairy2]

I can beat that.. DH's sister didn;t see our DS until he was 10months old.. even then she saw him by accident in the chemist!!!

[Crystaltips]

Does she have kids spangle ??

My guess is not - otherwise - why doesn't she bloody understand

[pooka]

I had similar with SIL. DH sent happy text message to all friends and relatives when ds was born. 3 weeks later still hadn't heard from her only to learn that apparently they hadn't had the text or subsequent ansaphone message. She has completely not acknowledged ds and I feel sad for him, as she was very attentive when dd was born. But suspect that it's all tied in with some unspoken anger/argument with MIL (her MIL too) as she's been very off about MIL seeing her daughters.

[spangles]

My SIL has kids.. they are in late teens and early 20s.. so she should understand. my other SIL couldnt have children and was very sensitive around other peoles children so when she had her first baby my other SIL couldnt handle being around her and the baby which really upset her so she more than anyone should be aware of what she is doing.
Waterfalls.. I only asked for 2 days, she has left it 6 weeks.. there wont be an invite, she can get lost.

[mandieb]

What not even to the first birthday party LOL