Is anyone else a single Parent even though your with the Child's father and live together?

[cd19882011]

My partner goes to work early around 5pm in the mornings and I work part-time every morning my job also requires me to do additional paperwork in the evenings.

I come home clean, look after our toddler and do general tidying and cleaning up and of course look after my son washing, bathing, feeding and playing with his toys. My partner goes home around 2pm-3pm slobs out in front of the tele refuses to help around the house or look after our son he does NOTHING to help.

i've tried telling him how unhappy I am and his reply is "What are you going on about now" He won't even acknowledge me when the football is on he never wants to do anything at the weekend.

He expects me to do everything, One day after work my mum said (Child's Name) is still asleep go home and i will drop him off later when he wakes up he was furious this is the first time in 15months I have had a break for around an hour. He said to me "Where is he?, Why are you not looking after him? You should be here looking after him your mum shouldn't be?"

He is so rude to all of my friends he refuses to help if i'm doing paperwork for work and is quite happy to spend the day not even acknowledging our Son.

Does anyone else have this problem? and am i fighting a loosing battle?

[Flightty]

He sounds utterly useless

You poor thing. And your poor little boy being ignored by his dad.

Have you thought about leaving, or asking him to leave?

[Olympia2012]

You are nothing like a 'single parent'

Single parents, myself included, are generally happy people. You sound thoroughly miserable!

[BlackCatsAndPurpleDogs]

You sound like a soon-to-be single parent.
Why are you still with him?
You would be FAR happier if you got rid, he is a total twat.
Not nice to your son either, reason alone to bin the tosser.

[Beyondconfused]

I concur with all of the above.
He is a father, he needs to pull his weight, support you, play with his son. It is totally inexcusable. He sounds like a total child and you sound like you deserve a partner who loves and respects you.

[ImperialBlether]

I'm a single mum and my life was never like that! I wouldn't put up with that lazy fool for anything. Get rid of him, live as a real single mum and try to meet someone nice.

[fussbucket]

Is he providing anything apart from cash? Doesn't sound like it. In the grand old tradition of MN, Leave the Bastard. He can continue to provide the cash and wonder to himself why the bathroom hasn't magically cleaned itself etc while you and your DS finally get to enjoy your lives a bit.

[Flightty]

I am a single parent too...not single as such since I have a DP now but he doesn't live here. And fwiw I think you would be so much happier and freer if you were not with this person.

Access for the child can be arranged through a solicitor, but you don't have any obligation to this man whatsoever - not to share your home, your bed or your life with him.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I agree with Olympia2012. I'm a single parent and my life is quite relaxed and fulfilling. You're being mistreated and taken for granted by some slob of a bloke .... quite a different thing.

[Tokamak]

He's a loser and a slob. Bin him.

[Tokamak]

is quite happy to spend the day not even acknowledging our Son.

As a dad myself, I think that's bloody disgusting. He's no man, he's a walking arsehole.

[IAmBooyhoo]

you aren't a single parent. single parent's dont have the dead weight of a lazy rude adult to carry aswell as their dcs.

get rid OP he clearly doesn't want to be a father or a partner and doesn't want to listen to you when you ask for help. he is creating more work for you and not contributing other than financially. you will be happier without.

[supernannyisace]

Similar, but not quite as extreme as your situation. So I got rid of him - and lived as a real single parent for a few years. Much less stressful - even though I had to work full time to pay the mortgage etc.

He needs to shape up or ship out!

[AWomanCalledHorse]

I think you'd be happier & less stressed as a 'proper' single parent.
It's disgusting that he won't acknowledge his son, please don't let your boy grow up in a house where he gets nothing from his dad. :(

[londis]

I was in a very similar position and put up with it for 2 years before seeing the light :)

He wasn't a slob but had no interest in anything other than himself. The swine used to ask every Friday what me a DD were going to be doing at the weekend. Erm...how about what should we all do together at the weekend?

I've been a single Mum for over 2 years and love it. ExH has DD 2 nights per week so I actually feel like I get some time to rest and have a life. I get all the good bits of spending the weekend with her (as he is obviously too busy!) and don't get anoyed that I have a grumpy, self obsessed, hypocondriac, 'big child' to intrude on my time with DD :)

Good luck with whatever you choose to do

[Hebiegebies]

Do you love him?

[Abitwobblynow]

what would he do if you sat down and stated a list of things you wanted to change?

Tell him you want to go to counselling and that you want him to go with you.

If you don't do this, everything else is just bleating. [Apparently, THAT sentence is the biggest thing to stop a man's denial that anything is wrong].

Then, if he refuses, tell him you are going yourself, and GO. [Apparently, he simply cannot continue with the denial if you are going to counselling to help you with your unhappiness].

I believe men should be give a chance. 1. to be firmly told stuff has to change, 2. to be given the opportunity to do something about it.