Looks as though I'm finally learning that people never really change

[mam2mebaybeez]

namechanger
apols for crap typing am on phone

dh has a history of being unpleasant when confronted... sulking, sarcastic tone, inability to accept he is in the wrong and apologise. I suffer with depression an when I've been ill I have frequently avoided confromtation and let things go because I couldnt face his attitude. However there have been times when I have saod something and it always follows the same script.

Last year he seemed to have a road to damascus type experience, he was seriously ill and he said that it made him re evaluate his life, he knew he'd been an arse and wasn't going to take me for granted any more. for the past year things have been great, he's been king, attentive, loving - the odd minor spat but nothing out of the ordinary.

yesterday morning we got up and he went to work as usual. dc turns the telly on. It is tuned to an adult channel. i managed to turn over and thankfully no questions asked by dcs. Nevertheless I'm angry, i dont want my children exposed to adult content, they are young, 7 and 2

o fumed all the way to school and back, when i got home i needed to tell him that I was upset and why, but could't phone so I texted him (I know I know

no response all day. normally he rins at lunchtime to say hi and then again towards the end of the day to let me know when he'll be home. yesterday and today, nothing.

i thought I'd give the new improved dh a chance to respond so when he got home last night i didn't mention it, to see if he would. Nothing, not a word about anything at all other than a breif strained chat about the dc's day.
So tonight I raised it with him and i got back "i didn't appreciate being texted to be told I'm a wanker", "what do you want me to say?" a cleaely forced «well I'm sorrt" followed by a sarky "yeah yeah" when i asked him if he'd been avoiding the issue in the hope that I'd get over it withiut confronting him and everything would be fine

At this point I gave up talking to him and have left him to stew on his own

lesson learned, he will never change.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Feel free to give him another near-death experience just to complete the experiment... :)

[mam2mebaybeez]

Cogito that's given me the laugh I needed

I may well do that by ripping him a new one with the fucking sky remote.

in all seriousness though I feel really sad and disappointed and I dont kmow what to do next.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

If you think he's just a terminal arse with no hope of redemption there's probably not a lot of point recommending things like counselling. Although, to me, it does sound as though you'd both benefit from some lessons in communication. Him on how to be more constructive and less defensive and you on how to deal with confrontation more directly. However, if you've genuinely had enough and don't want to waste any more effort, I'd recommend talking to a solicitor or CAB and getting your financial ducks in a row before presenting him with the news that he'll be moving out. Have a plan and work to that perhaps?

[AnyFucker]

block the adult channels with the remote, and then insert it sideways up his arse

why are they even still available through your telly ?

alternatively, if this is the best he can do, think very carefully about whether his "best" is actually good enough

[izzyizin]

The trouble with the road to Damascus is that it's a not a one way street.

If he didn't have a porn habit before his conversion he's acquired one since and if he had one before he saw the light, giving it up was obviously not part of his bargain with God or Satan.

In the light of your discovery, the words you used aptly describe his activities after you've gone to bed or when you're not looking.

I would suggest you check his/your/the family computer history and get a gander at his mobile if possible.