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When you need a RL friend

(131 Posts)

Not sure if this is the right place to post this.

Inspired by another thread where a very lovely sounding MN is going through a break up. One of the things that was really against her finding the strength she needed, was a lack of RL support.

If you have no local family and you and a partner have become 'self sufficient' - "we have each other and therefore don't need friends" it can be extra hard to follow through when you break up. You have lost your partner, your best friend but also your ONLY friend.

I can see that you would feel awkward getting in touch with old friends in your 'hour of need' if you haven't spoken to them for a while, and sometimes talking to a professional isn't enough - you need wine/coffee/tears and hugs.

I know that the Mumsnet Local boards can sometimes feel a bit quichey (mine does - I am sure they are all lovely but it does feel like an 'established group'). Also they feel like they are places for 'fun' and not tears. And if you are going through a breakup it can be hard to bring yourself to 'join a gym' 'start a course' and even then friendships take a while to establish.

The thread I referred to earlier has (again) shown the wonder of Mumsnet with a few people local to OP getting in touch to arrange coffees and stuff. I am sure this will be a great support to her. Time and time again, I have read posts where people just don't have anyone in RL to talk to and I was wondering whether something can be done?

I know if ANYONE local to me was having a hard time and wanted someone in RL to chat to, (whether going through relationship trauma or not) I'd be glad to meet for a coffee and I know I'm not alone.

I know that historically, people on the specific thread might be the ones to offer to meet the OP if they are local, but I think it unlikely that someone would start a thread just to say "everything has gone to shit and I just want someone in RL to talk to, any volunteers in Camrbidge?"

But often that is exactly what it comes down to.

Does anyone think it would be a good idea to try to establish some kind of place for people who are lacking RL support to reach out to other MNers for RL friendship/support or is this something that should naturally evolve and be offered if felt appropriate on a thread?

I'm honestly not sure, but I am heartbroken by hpw many people are feeling lonely and alone. sad

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Tue 30-Oct-12 11:51:30

oh dear

you will try to help ! grin

SlightlySeethrough Tue 30-Oct-12 15:01:28

yep, that'll learn me. grin

UPDATE

The Friendship Benches are now apparently working. I have managed to post on mine. Thank you again MNHQ

But mostly, thank you, thank you to all the lovely MNers who posted in this and site stuff thread and responded to my endless PM's about it. I know loads of you couldn't post when I first nagged asked you, but if you wouldn't mind trying again.... Pretty please.

Just one person getting RL help could change a life. It really could

Thanks muchly

quietlysuggests Wed 14-Nov-12 22:29:19

Thanks for update. Must go look at local..

SpiralDancer Wed 14-Nov-12 22:41:24

This is one of the loveliest threads that I have read in a while, thank you op for starting it.

Only really wished to say that really

fluffyraggies Thu 15-Nov-12 08:38:38

I still can't do it sad

My friendship bench and group meet up page is just sitting there looking the same as always. It has let me make a 'local nickname'. But i cant add anything to the page. Is it me doing something wrong?

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