Worried about H not bonding with our second baby

[FeedMeCakeNOW]

My husband has admitted that he's not bonding with our second baby. The first (a girl) is now 18 months and he adores her. She's certainly a daddy's girl. Our second (a boy) is 8 weeks old, on the breast a lot, and gets terrible wind, particularly at night.

My husband often comments how our son never smiles at him (he smiles at me occasionally) and our son won't sleep on my husband's chest the way our daughter used to. Last night our son was crying because of his wind and my husband shouted at him then said he wanted to take him back to the hospital. This morning my husband was changing our sons nappy and, like newborn boys often do, he started weeing, which prompted my husband to say "I hate this child" in an aggressive manner. He's never said that about our daughter, even during her difficult newborn stage when I had PND.

What can I do? I'm very worried about my husband's feelings towards our son.

[chocoraisin]

do you think he may have PND? Men get it too - check this link out?

www.dad.info/health/your-health/post-natal-depression-dads/

don't panic yet, give him a hug and let him know you still love him, and maybe acknowledge that is is really hard work... he might be feeling terrible for being so cross etc, but not know how to explain. Male depression is often more aggressive than female depression.

[cestlavielife]

any aggression towards baby and he has to go - leave the house take a break etc

you need to set a clear boundary for that.

eg shaking a baby etc could harm him but you know that....

talk to him tell him that you understand it is frustrating but to give it time - he is only eight weeks. in four more weeks he will be smiling for everyone all the time.

and if h has feelings of anger he must control himself and walk away from the baby.

talk to hv and see what help might be available and try and get your h to talk to hv or gp.