cant believe its come to this

[secretbargainhuntlover]

ive took the big decision to cut my dad out of my life

after years of him been abusive,nasty and controlling ive decided i dont want to see him anymore,that means him not seeing my Ds again either,unless he apologises to me

i cant remember him ever been nice to me in my life and the handful of times he has been its been forced,

my mum has been looking after Ds while me and OH have been at work,i only work 2 days,my dad is there but sits upstairs all day on his PC

i have just found out the times he is downstairs he has been trying to teach my son to swear,i have repeatdly told him this is not acceptable behaviour

i went on tues for tea and took ill,he refused to take me to a walk in centre and had a full blown tantrum including throwing his meal in the bin,all because my gran ( his mother ) asked what the problem was why he wouldnt take me, i walked out as i was just so fed up of puttin up with this behaviour all my life,i tried to walk home with my son and collapsed

my OH rang my parents the next day and said he s sat back and let me deal with it over the years at my request but refuses to see his wife be treated like this anymore,he also said that we have repleatldy asked to stop the swearing/shouting in front of our DS and it hasnt stopped

now i feel so depressed and upset,have i done the right thing?

[HotDAMNlifeisgood]

Yes.

You are protecting yourself and your child from emotional harm.

That is absolutely the right thing to do. Mourn the loss of the father you wish you'd had, but do be proud of yourself to.

[HotDAMNlifeisgood]

*too

[BettySuarez]

You have done the right thing, without a doubt.

I did it too although it took years to build up the courage

Deep breaths, don't look back. The only way is forward x

[AmazeballsSuperFandango]

I Cut my mother out 3 years ago and it really has made my life better.
I don't have to worry about what she will say or do as much.
It will be sad not to have a dad anymore but you wont miss YOUR dad just having A dad.
I miss having a mum to tell all my wonderful news and share all my ups and downs but i don't miss worrying about what she will say or do or if it will cause a row.
Be strong and don't give in.
My mother still tries to influence and hurt me when she can but it doesn't get to me any more really as it just makes me realise how sad and warped she must be to want to hurt her child.
Be strong and if you ever need an ear from someone who has done it and is still coping with the fall out just pm me :)
Good luck.
Hope this made sence

[thebody]

He sounds vile, dont expose either yourself or your dc to him , u will have to change child care arrangements, how will it affect your mum?

[secretbargainhuntlover]

Thankyou so much for your supportive replies

i no in my head and heart i have done the right thing,i should have done this years ago

ive tried to think of anything positve he brings to my life and i cant think of a single thing

i passed my 1st year of college last year and when i told him he said "oh right "

i cant deal with his tantrums and huffs anymore and trying to figure out what i have done to upset him when in truth i no i havnt done anything

he treats my mum like dirt and talks to her like she s a piece of shit calling her an idiot,i also watched him pysically abuse her when i was a child

i feel guilty that i left my child in their care

[secretbargainhuntlover]

my mum said she will looks after DS at my house

im not sure yet i may pack in my job

[AmazeballsSuperFandango]

Don't do anything rash with your job as you would be letting him change things.
Let your mum look after your ds at your house for a while and see how it works out.
It will be hard for you as your parents are still together and you may be made feel guilty about it by other family members but once he is out of your life for a while you will realise its worth it.
I lost all my mums family when i cut her out believed lies she told them
It made me realise who and what are really important.... The family you create not the family you were born into.

[thebody]

U r strong, u have a lovely oh and dc, your mum, who I feel very sorry for, has choose her own life as u must choose yours. Well done. If your mum does look after dc from
Your house can u b sure he won't come round? Incidentally why don't u look at a cm for your child care needs, we are a nice bunch and woe betide any one who tried to teach one of my mindees to swear.

[secretbargainhuntlover]

thats what im worrying about,if we are both at work how i can be 100% sure he wont just turn up

i dont really want to lose my job its my independence

i just dont no what to do or think at the min