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Relationships

Second chance

1 reply

Rosmarin · 13/02/2012 14:18

You know that point, post-break up, when you wonder whether you'll have a second chance at real love and attraction? I'm there right now. I know that it's quite possible that I will never find anyone else that I feel that way about and that's really scary. Although my ex had his flaws and the relationship wasn't perfect, I've never felt like that about anyone else (even in other serious relationships).

Lots of people are in relationships that aren't good or ideal, or no longer have deep feelings of love or never even had them in their lives. Some relationships are downright toxic and dangerous.

My parents... I don't believe either ever found deep love with anyone and though they were only married for about 7 years I think, their divorce (and marriage) was so painful that neither ever had another serious relationship. My parents divorced when they were 31 and 41 (Mum/Dad) so still very young. That was about 20-odd years ago. The idea of my Dad's reality scares me - he's lived for two decades without partnership, love, romance, human touch (besides my hugs!).

Maybe my view is skewed from the examples I saw growing up but I feel really pessimistic. What's the reality here?

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HotDAMNlifeisgood · 13/02/2012 15:59

IMO, the reality is that there are no guarantees, so none of us can say "Don't worry you will find a soulmate", anymore than you can say "I'll never have a second chance at love".

The only reality as I see it is that if you depend on a romantic partner for your own happiness, then you are bound to fail. Whereas if you depend only on yourself, then you will be happy, with or without a partner.

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