Mumsnet Talk

Hi Newbie here, I just need some advice :-( going through a bad patch and husband of 26 yrs keeps going away to get his head together! BUT he takes no clothes with him or brings any back, plus now he doesnt even take his shaver etc!!!! what do you think? i know what my gut feelings are but should i give him the benefit of the doubt as per usual? thanks

What are your gut feelings telling you?

How long has he been like this for? How long does he stay away for? What are his explanations for these absences?

Do you think there is another woman?

Does he come back clean and shaven? If so I would be thinking the worst.

Gut feeling there's someone else on the scene!!! he disappears quite regularly, often telling me that morning, that he won't be home that night..... no rows or cross words even.

he comes back clean shaven, new clothes, stinking of aftershave!!! always comes home late sunday night absolutely knackered!!! Hmmm says it all really huh

I think maybe you should not let him come back

Bolt the door????
He's not even being subtle is he?

he insists he's done nothing wrong, swears on kids lives.... etc accuses me of being suspicious!!!!

Is it really that obvious? i'm so gullible and trusting:-(

Go with your gut feeling.

where does he claim have spent his time? what's his explanation?

Ok, he's done nothing wrong.

do you like him going away? If not, and he won't tell you where he is, or when he will be back, he's doing something wrong.

He's not going away to get his head together. He's very obviously having an affair.

omg this sounds so pathetic!!! various parts of the country walking and visiting castles (though in the 26 odd years i've known him he's never done this) and no receipts from hotels or brochures. He just disappears and re-appears!!! no explanation.

It's never obvious when you're in it.........

Ask if you can go with him next time?

Usual, I cant cause I have children and animals to care for

Is he contactable on these weekends he dissapears? What does he do with his mobile?

Next time he goes away for one of his weekends - you go away as well and just dont be there for when he gets back. Treat him to some of the same. If he asks where you have been accuse him of being suspicious and give him the same excuses he gives you.

A taste of his own medicine might make he realise what a selfish twat he is being.

Am very sad for you. I would be very suspicious. Can you follow him and see where he goes perhaps?

How can he go away without his clothes? most odd

Tell him he is in charge next weekend, kids, animals, the lot....

Itsall, he never has signal!!! god only knows if there was emergency
cant follow him cause.... oh wait for it he's bought himself new sports car and i dont know reg no!!!! its sounding worse.
He acts injured if I dare question him.

How old are the children, what animals have you got?

eaglewings I'd never leave my children and animals with him, he's not nice, though he's mr wonderful to outsiders!!! I'm so lucky and should be thankful.

Was just about to ask the same as DorothyGherkins

How long has he been doing these weekends away? When did it start and is there any pattern as to which weekends? How many times has he gone ?

When did he get the car? Where does he keep it and why dont you know the reg?

Sorry for bombarding you with questions just trying to get the whole picture in the hope I can suggest something to help.

Seriously, what do you need to be told here? All the signs are there - why are you hanging about?