Mumsnet Talk

i've been gettin messages of some one from
work on fb, i think he 'likes' me. i dont like him, how do i talk back without giving him any impression i like him like that? i've ignored him a few times but feel mean doing it all the time?

Reply something along the lines of "I'm not sure this is professional. Please stop harassing me."

I wouldn't say the above unless the messages were sexual or suggestive or nasty in tone. I would just remain polite and normal "friendly" if I saw him face to face at work but would ignore the FB messages. Don't feel mean - if you ignore enough, he'll get the message and stop.

I would probably make sure that most of my stuff on FB was hidden from him, by putting him on a list where his view is restricted. I would go offline from the chat option when he's online. Don't feel obliged to talk to him because he likes you or because you work with him.

Keep it professional when you see him in RL and cut him off online by saying you have to go & showing offline when he tries to talk.

Be unavailable and don't feel guilty. You don't owe him your time or head space.

Do you mean private messages or chat? If messages, I would just continue to ignore them and if he challenges you on not responding I would just say I don't look at those as I'm too busy / not on fb much. Or just quietly delete him from your friends that would be better. If he challenges that (unlikely) say you want to keep your friend list down to people you interact with often / family for photos / DC did it. And never get round to adding him again.

Reply something along the lines of "I'm not sure this is professional. Please stop harassing me."

I definitely wouldn't say anything like that! I did a self-defence course once and we were told to never humiliate a guy like the above, as you never know what you're dealing with, what some men are capable of, particularly if insulted/made to feel small. the vast majority of men are bog standard normal types, but it only takes the one.. I don't remember how to do a headlock but I do remember this advice.

Be vacant/distracted and generally unavailable.

i've ignored his last message, he's only young and we'll chat at work and have a joke (not flirty in anyway at all), but online he seemed a bit keen / asking me what things i like and where was i today etc. urgh :-/

Ignore ignore ignore.

Just don't fan the flames.

You are under no obligation to let him know anything about yourself.

I wouldn't start down the 'harassment' route unless the messages are blatantly sexual and persistent. If he's young and you don't dislike him and you think it's just overenthusiasm, then ignoring him on FB should do the trick. Bear in mind (in this case) that if he's a lot younger then he might be the sort of Facebook Generation type who is not, actually, chasing you at all but is used to jabbering away on FB with all his mates and hasn't thought about the fact that other people don't necessarily use social networking the same way with their friends, their workmates or their relatives.

I'd reply in a friendly way unless the messages are horrid. Tell him you're off on a date or out with your DP etc make it clear work and personal life mixing don't work for you

solidgold... i think he is part of the young fb generation tbh. i dont really get that