She said love is not enough...is it?

[IMDH]

Lots of love with DP but little trust. Meant DP listened to others too much and over analysed all innocent actions and words. Meant DP wouldn't listen or even want to talk when latest meddler made false accusations. Didnt think it through. Didnt see OW motives, though previously had and had understood all tricks ans seem through similar noising off. Not this time. Just crashed. So...is love ever enough?

[solidgoldbrass]

No. I don't know what your specific problem is but 'love' alone can't fix anything. Love doesn't mend broken bones, pay off your bills or resurrect the dead. And it certainly isn't enough to cure mental health issues.

[tigermoll]

I don't want to jump down your throat, OP, but from your posts, it sounds like:

• you disapprove of your partner's friends, and feel they have 'turned her against you'.
  
• Your actions (whatever they were) were 'innocent', your DP saw them another way.
  
• More than one 'meddler' made what you say are false accusations. Although having accepted your version in the past, your partner was unwilling to continually ignore what other people were telling her.
  

I would say that no, love is not enough to continue this relationship. Love is not enough to put up with an atmosphere of distrust, uncertainty and unhappiness.

It sounds like this relationship is over. Leave your ex to get on with her life in peace, and do the same yourself.

[Hassled]

Without love you're stuffed but no, it's not enough. It's not the same as being compatible with someone.

[solidgoldbrass]

Is there some back story here? I would also add that love is not enough in that saying 'But I loooove yoooooo' is not an automatic get-out-of-jail-free card if you have messed up.

[AnyFucker]

I don't really understand the story but I do have a very clear opinion on "is love enough"

no

"love" as in romantic love is responsible for much hurt, shattered dreams and complete bollocks in this world

"love" means fuck all unless an individual's actions bear it out, consistently

[AnyFucker]

are there other threads ?

it don't matter to me, my opinion would be the same

[IMDH]

All actions consistently reinforced love, support, understanding and togetherness. No issues when together. And no misdemeanours. No cheating.

[IMDH]

But an unfounded, no proof accusation was all it took to blow love away

[AnyFucker]

you are talking in a strange manner, so I would find it difficult to engage fully with you, tbh

and I still don't understand what you are getting at

you are a bloke whose female partner has listened to unfounded gossip and ended your relationship ?

so where does the "love must conquer" come in ?

are you telling her that because you "love" her she is not entitled to end the relationship ?

because you know what? Anybody, any time, can end a relationship, for any reason they like

do you disagree with that premise ?

[IMDH]

Her loss, I guess (though mine too...obviously...heartbroken). She's v special. I will always love her

[AnyFucker]

she can end the relationship any time she likes

you cannot stop her

you get that?

yes ?

[oikopolis]

..then she is too insecure to maintain a healthy relationships and you should move on.

[oikopolis]

wait has she already split with you OP?
if so, stop ruminating and start moving on. it sounds like things are over between you in any case, whether it's officially over or not.

[tigermoll]

So a succession of 'meddlers' decided (for reasons best known to themselves) to end your relationship with a series of utterly unfounded accusations? And, despite you being totally innocent (and she had no 'proof' otherwise) and having always been a consistently loving, honest and respectful partner, she chose to believe them over you, and ended things?

I think something's missing here.....

[Kayano]

The 'latest meddler made false accusations'

? ?

So there have been more than one. I wouldn't trust you sorry.

[YuleingFanjo]

does she love you?

[struwelpeter]

Sounds like you are hoping some big declaration 'but I love you' will redeem everything. In that sense no love is not enough, it is simply an empty promise or a fantasy. Mature love doesn,t flourish on grand gestures or big speeches. It grows from a myriad tiny gestures of kindness, respect, support, understanding. Work on yourself, think about her point of view, create some space and distance between yourselves and what went wrong. Perhaps in time something will change but using the word love won,t change anything at the moment.

[IMDH]

Did nothing wrong. Only 1 meddler being my EX. Constantly sniping and making suggestions about what I might have said. So no...not me looking for love to conquer all. Just simply confused that in one afternoon GF can say she loves me totally, that she'd marry me tomorrow and that I'm the one, then 3hours later she can respond to an innocuous enough rant by a wounded EX and chuck it all away. But as others say, she's free to believe and do what she will. No hope. Just sadness. Just on here for company

[solidgoldbrass]

Thing is, just because you love someone, it doesn't actually oblige that person to love you, or carry on loving you, in return. If you get dumped, you basically have to suck it up.

[YuleingFanjo]

what was the accusation then?

[tigermoll]

Only 1 meddler being my EX.

But you say in your OP 'the latest meddler'. This implies that there has been what you call 'meddling' before?

[AnyFucker]

if it is as you say, then consider this as a bullet dodged

if your gf can switch so quickly, then she was never a keeper in the first place and you were both foolish to make protestations of "love" that meant so very little

if she has dumped you, be dumped and don't hassle her with your opinions on the matter

simply move on

[struwelpeter]

If there is no trust how can there be love? It's simply lust. And lack of trust means it was easy for her to hear what others wanted to tell her. Move on and next time build trust before wild declarations of love are made.

[IMDH]

Moving on

[ThompsonTwins]

No. It may be the start but that's all. Truly loving someone and being loved back involves mutual help, support, kindness etc etc. Some men claim to love a woman but treat her like a domestic servant. Some women claim to love a man but use him as an emotional prop. Just two variations on many themes expressed on MN. Love is defo not enough.