Wanting to shag every male that moves. Normal or hormonal?

[Changeable]

V. quick post before DH comes back. Have namechanged.

Basics are, been with DH 10 years, he's got a seriously low sex drive, always has, but now I've done having DC's it's becoming an issue. Nothing works, am attractive (ish), early 40's, tried everything to change his drive, but it's not happenening. Totally fed up, but in all other respects life with him is v. good...I won't be leaving. When we do get round to it (once month), it's not great...he's v. prudish.

Recently I've been thinking constantly about shagging other, faceless men. Just one nighter..something like that...don't want an affair. Feel like it's on the cards...I even got hot over some random bloke showing me pasta in Sainsburys. I'm checking out the Dads at school (not obviously). I need help. All I can think about is sex with someone (anyone) else.

This isn't normal is it? Or is it?

Don't even know why I'm writing this, just venting I suppose cos I can't tell anyone else..

Won't be able to check this thread till tomorrow because DH will be here and the PC is downstairs..

[keynesian]

Can be one of the first signs you're entering the peri-menopausal stage... Hormones having a last surge...

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Its understandable that you want to feel desireable and loved, his rejection is making you think of other men. Why has he got a seriously low sex drive and for how long has this been happening?. Something has caused this to happen in the first place and it is in both your interests to determine why that is. You cannot fix this by yourself; he has to also want to address the problem.

Has he been to his GP to see if there is a medical cause (sometimes low testosterone levels can cause these problems?. What about seeing a sex therapist?.

Having a one night stand with some random bloke is patently not the answer for you (you may well end up contracting a STD from the encounter so it ain't worth it). That course of action is clearly not going to help you is it and may make things within your marriage a whole lot worse.

Also if you're feeling unhappy in your marriage you are perhaps kidding yourself if you don't think the children at all pick up on any unspoken unhappiness or tension between the two of you.

What do you get out of this relationship now?

What happens to you as a couple as well when the kids leave home and its just the two of you?. Your current desire to not leave may well come back to bite you on the behind at that time if steps are not taken by both of you now to get to the heart of the matter.

[Taghain]

I can sympathise, I've been through something similar myself.
That is, it's normal.

How do you get on in other ways - is he affectionate, cuddly, supportive in other aspects of your life together? That's worth hanging on to.

Can you persude him to go to the doctor? Viagra / cialis / Levitra might help; they can provide unexpected erections anyway. Can you get rid of your needs by masturbation? That might be the magic bullet to numb the desires, at least.

Otherwise, if it's making you hard to live with, a quiet FWB thing might work. Don't fall in love with anyone else, though. That's nearly always bad news.