The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Spread The Festive Cheer, Without The Beer!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse.

I have an obsession with drinking, I can't have a drink, not just one..... it has to be more. Always more.

So, I got on the Bus, this Bus, full of Brave Babes who will help and support me all the way. Come say hi, grab a seat and a . We're a real mixed bunch that share one thing without any doubt - alcohol abuse.

And if you want to read about our history, it's HERE

See you on the Bus xx

[Fairenuff]

Oooh am I the first one on?

[Fairenuff]

I'm lonely

[Bproud]

faire that's cos you jumped too soon!
So here we are with another Christmas on its way. Jump on board for tips to deal with Xmas Xcesses

[Fairenuff]

Oooo I like what you did there Bproud with a little alliteration .

As mouse is away, will anyone be providing late night snacks or hot breakfast tomorrow? I need to plan ahead you know.

[Bproud]

I've got nothing in, but tomorrow is a bakathon, Xmas pud and cake, sticky toffee puddings and ginger puddings for the freezer, plus a few trays of savoury nibbles if I have time. It's amazing what you can get done without a hangover...
I might throw you lot a few crumbs

[notevenamousie]

Hi everyone, and hello to the new thread, I'm notevenamousie (as in, not a creature was stirring...) and I'm an alcoholic. I haven't needed or wanted a drink today, and the days are starting to add together now, and sobriety is amazing, this is the best time of my life.

On the subject of Christmas, I had a bit of a grumble about it a few weeks back, but nothing's changed, if anything it's worse, I'm still feeling 'bah humbug' about Christmas - guess it'll take a while to change the habit of a lifetime. It's not really about the alcohol, I just have never liked it (and am an evangelical Christian so no excuses there) and this year, first Christmas in sobriety, first Christmas without my mum... can I hibernate and wake up when it's all over? I really don't want to put decorations up, I hate the way well behaved children become materialistic and I always wish I could be at work - am volunteering with a homeless project between Christmas and New Year though, that should get me out of self, because I can help someone who really needs it. I don't want to pass this on to DD though, so I will do as much as I can of what is expected of me.

Anyway, I have these doubly covered chocolate fingers that I have become rather attached to. Or I did have. I now have a box and a full tummy. Still less calories than a whole bottle of wine!! Hope everyone has a good Friday evening and it sets them up for a lovely sober weekend.

[Bproud]

noteven you are fully entitled to feel bah this year, I think a quiet snuggly time for you and DD are probably just what the doctor would order for you.
Good for you with the volunteering.
You are so right about the sweet treats, I used to feel more guilty about eating chocolate than I did about drinking hundreds of empty calories... crazy eh?

[Fairenuff]

I was watching a recording of last nights I'm a Celebrity and noticed that the person voted out was immediately offered a glass of champagne, to which they said 'no thank you' quite forcefully and moved the glass away.

I was just thinking how much alcohol is in daily lives and how people assume that everyone drinks. Of course, I am also wondering if that person has a drinking problem and does not want to drink.

Hmmm, am noticing things like that these days.

[Bproud]

interesting, who was it?

[Fairenuff]

Not sure if I should say Bproud in case it spoils it for anyone who doesn't know yet, but you could google it.

Alcohol really is everywhere though, isn't it. My dd was offered wine with her meal when we were eating out. She's 14 and looks her age. I'm happy to say she declined.

[swallowedAfly]

just marking my place before i force myself to go to bed and read so i know where we are in the morning. night all.

[swallowedAfly]

oh i have some little pots of gu chocolate desert that i'll just leave here in the corner.

someone else needs to be on breakfast as i only do nicotine and caffeine in the a.m.

[Bproud]

Looks like her partner was an alcoholic who unfortunately died of the effects. You are right though, especially at this time of the year.
I do get a bit miffed about the lack of alternatives, at a wedding recently the only alternative to wine on the table was a jug of tap water, not even fizzy water for the toasts!

[Fairenuff]

Well, now I am nosey curious and will have to google it myself.

Night Saf and thanks for the choc pots. A little sugar treat before bed, just the job. Am now half watching a very slow moving film and trying to keep my eyes open. DH and cat both snoring on the sofa, quite sweet really. Synchronised.

[BafanaThesober]

Marking my place, just home from a lovely meeting. Off to bed.

Sleep tight bb's

Bafana
Xxx

[swallowedAfly]

i'm still here. why is it so hard to go to bed?

i may watch a film. i have, "the knowing" and "winter's bone" to choose from.

damn it i'm going to have one of those choc pots now

[Theala]

Eat the chocolate, Saf. I opened a small box of chocolates I'd bought for DH's birthday (and forgotten to give him) earlier this evening. I've just eaten two more.

Anyway, I am ^back^ from my first sober night out in very many years. I drank one diet coke, one tonic water with lemon, and I had a big mug of tea when I got back in while DH had a beer. Am I good or wha'? :o

Admittedly, it wasn't the most exciting night ever, but I don't think it would have been even if I was drinking, for a variety of reasons. And now I'm off to bed and won't feel dreadful and down on myself tomorrow when I wake up. Hurrah!

'Night babes and thank you all very much for being here. xxx

[swallowedAfly]

you are very good indeed theala well done you! enjoy your sober wake up tomorrow x

[jesuswhatnext]

just a quick one, jet lag setting in! SAF, for goodness sake dont worry about what you post, talking about how we feel, why we feel it, why we drink/dont drink is soooo important, in many cases i think its the first time most of us have really admitted/analyised and given REAL thought to why we pressed the self-destruct button!

theala, well done on your sober night, fwiw, my first sober nights out were not always hugely enjoyable, i was on edge that i would give in and drink, i was constantly scanning the room to see if people were noticing my new behaviour, in fact, thinking about it it was so difficult, sometimes looking back i cant believe i managed those first few months, i think i was pretty paranoid about all sorts of things tbh, i think that is partly the body and mind getting used to functioning normally iyswim? im waffling and weary, see you all tomorrow

night night!

[venusandmars]

It's the middle of the night (well it seems like the middle of the night for those of us who are [quite old] and who do not have little children. Yet..... here I am. I've just got back from a night out with my friend. I've cried and cried tonight.

It has been so tough over the last few weeks. I'm trying to be in control of things that I can't contol; I'm trying to control my own emotions; I'm trying to be responsible for other people's emotions; I'm trying to support and help and encourage and liberate...

I'm exhausted.

But I'm here. It is the early hours and there is half a bottle of wine that dp has had earlier, yet I've made myself a mug of peppermint tea. I am off to bed now. How weird, that in the middle of the night, you are the people that I want to speak with, to read about, to respond to.... You're wonderful people, each and every one of you.

night night x

[notevenamousie]

Morning everyone,
Thank you for listening to my ranting last night. Snuggles sound good Bproud but I also really hate being in the house too much, hence why I whizz about trying to do too many things. I find it hard to change it though! Also, for all of you with older DCs, now that DD is at school, is this likely to be the last year she believes in Father Christmas? I hear of children of 7 or more still seeming to believe - but surely she/they will realise or be told by someone with older siblings? She questions and we discuss quite deeply the Bible studies they do at church and school so I just can't imagine blind faith in anything continuing, even if it is self-interest wrt FC!
venus as ever you have so much self insight - not sure what to add really. But control is a big one for me too, and to realise that I never was actually in control, even when I thought I was, and thank goodness, because I wouldn't have made a very good job of it, was a relief. Acceptance of uncertainty - you'd think I'd have got better at that, after the most uncertain year this year I could imagine, but it is the most difficult. I can accept bad, difficult, horrible things far easier than uncertainty. And trying not to think about them... remains a challenge too. I'm no help am I?! But am glad you've got some of it out, and have friends to do that with.
I read something that said "procrastination is just sloth in 5 syllables" and on that note, I am going to get my downstairs all straight and my painting finished today. Without a hangover, and without a drink.

[swallowedAfly]

venus you are very much a wonderful person yourself. sounds like a really demanding time and i'm so glad you got to let it out last night with your friend, i hope it has helped. well done for not going to that bottle.

noteven i don't know. my sisters kids despite being very believing christians believed in father christmas for a long time. my ds (4) already questions it and says it can't be real but last year i did a stocking for him with the little things he'd asked father christmas for in it. (i decided FC is for the tat and little bits he wants, not for big expensive stuff and ds tends to remember and love and treasure the tat more than the expensive stuff anyway tbh)

i go with the 'i don't know what i believe but lots of people believe in him and it's a lovely idea' kind of approach. i think essentially some kids sort of want to believe and enjoy the ritual so go along with in it by choosing a state of suspended disbelief. i don't remember ever believing myself, for as long as i can remember i knew my dad took the presents down at night but i knew it was a secret. i think with school, having watched my neice and nephews, some who really do believe get quite upset and tell tales on those who say it's not true, some do the going along with it and some are the kind of kids who take pride in calling bs loudly.

i had my one glass of baileys last night. the bottle is finished now which is good. i think part of my lack of motivation at the minute is that i'm feeling pretty crappy all the time - low level aches and pains and constant nagging headache and tiredness. so drink or no drink there is little boingyness going on v having a drink feels quite soothing and numbing against the feeling crappy. i'm trying to tell myself ah but maybe you would feel better without drinking, even though it doesn't seem to make a difference short term but i'm not buying it.

having much the same trouble with food at the moment. i'm all bloated and heavy feeling and it doesn't seem to make a difference to that whether i eat healthily and very well and at diet like quantities or whether i eat badly and comfortingly.

i basically need my health do kickstart and get me out of the me/cfs borderland and wavering in. it's not really bad at the minute and it's not getting me too down but it's low level dragging on and i can't seem to shake it. sorry to go on and on about me stuff but the drinking and self care v self destruct really ties in with my health for me. i get sick and tired of being sick and tired and also pretty resentful of it and fed up and i want to grab little comforts where i can i guess - including in alcohol.

[swallowedAfly]

god sorry - i feel i have moaned the thread into silence!

[sillysillymum]

Morning all. Just wanted to say a quick hello. Busy day here. Houseful of children, husbands (well just the one) plus a friend to stay. DH still knows nothing about the bus and I'm trying to keep it that way so must be brief before he wonders what I'm up to!

Venus, you do sound down and stressed you poor thing. You are going through a tough time at the moment; things have to get better, and I'm sure they will soon. I find it v inspiring that you didn't turn to the demon drink, despite it crossing your mind. That takes real strength. Hope you have a better day today.

SAF, please, please keep posting how you feel. Good or bad. I empathise so much with what you say. And although I do, of course, hope you feel better soon, listening to your worries/feelings/emotions etc helps me no end. Not that you're just here to help me, obviously, but knowing that someone else is going through similar things has helped me more than I know how to put into words. I'm still drinking but a hell of a lot less, and drinking in a more controlled and aware way. For example, yesterday I didn't finish the whole bottle of wine, only bought a low alcohol one in the first place (although actually I didn't realise it was low alcohol I have to admit ) and I poured half of my last glass away. Without the guys on this bus that would never have happened. It's because of people like you, Saf, so please empty your head here as much as you like! I hope you have a better day today.

Noteven, you're not alone. It's totally understandable that this Christmas will be hard for you. We'll all be thinking of you and I hope you find a way of making it as enjoyable - or at least as manageable - as possible.

Theala, way to go!!!' Was thinking of you last night. Had a feeling you'd do it! Who cares if it wasn't the most amazing night out. You set yourself a challenge and you did it! You must feel super-smug today Sorry for thinking you were going out on Thursday. You see, Mouse, my name is quite appropriate! Hope you're having a good, pain-free (if possible?) weekend away.

Hello everyone else. Have happy weekends x

[sillysillymum]

Saf, cross-posted. I really need to write shorter (or at least quicker) posts! Would it be rude to tell you to stop being so daft? Probably! Please moan away as much as you'd like

Forgot to say hello to HRH Jesus (?). Glad you had a good holiday. Nice to have you back