Help re XH talking about me to our DC

[lemonstartree]

I left my ExH in August 10 following several years of drug taking, alcohol abuse and emotional, verbal and occasional physical abuse. We are divorced, he has (I believe) given up drugs and alcohol. He has found God.

he lives with his parents and has access to our 3dc every Saturday and twice a week after school. He does not have them overnight unless he takes them away. I have a new partner who is very supportive and very good with the children. They are 13, 9 and 6.

My Ex seems to have no concept about what is and is not appropriate to share with the children. He questions them frequenctly about me and my new partner. He makes comments suggesting that he (ex) and I may get back together. I have been clear with him and the childremn form day one that will NEVER EVER happen. He lets the kids watch 18 movies, he encourages them to make derogartory remarks about my mother /... I could go on. In short he is a child himself with no understanding that children are NOT adults and do not need to be exposed to adult emotions.

My solicitor has already written to him once about this behaviour. We attended mediation where it was made clear to him that involving the children like this and running down their mother/grandmother etc was detrimental to them and must stop. He has had the kids for 3 days over 1/2 term (they weant away) and they have come back telling me stuff that Dad has said. I confronted him this morning, and he denied it.

what next ? Cafacss.?? I dont want to stop access, I just want him to stop using and manipulating the kids.

[cestlavielife]

you cant stop him really can you? you have no control over what eh does minute by minute when they in his care.

what he does is nasty but it wont amount to serious welfare issues will it?

ride it out...

soon they will be old enough to amke their own minds up.

just counter with lots of open discussion about how to be nice to people.