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It is my fathers anniversary today. he died 35 years ago.

9 replies

lolaflores · 14/10/2011 09:21

I feel sad every year, but when I see my youngest daughter with her dad it just guts me sometimes. I miss him so much and miss what might have been. Today it feels bitter sweet and the weather is exactly the same as the day he died. Crisp blue skies, golden leaves. SOmetimes 35 years feels like only a minute ago.,

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maleview70 · 14/10/2011 09:50

Just think of him looking down from above and watching your family flourish...

You must have been quite young by the sounds of your post. My dad died a few years ago so I feel your pain.

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Aislingorla · 14/10/2011 09:51

Condolences Lola.
(Maybe he's looking down on you and sending the lovely weather!)

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PeppermintPumpkin · 14/10/2011 10:14

I'm thinking of you lola. I was very close to my Dad too, and I miss him so so much. Re the weather-it made me think of something he used to say when I left home for university. He said when it rained he would look at the skies and think of that same rain falling down where I was, and it made him feel closer to me somehow. He was a right old Romantic! And a bit of a loon too.

As for your daughter, well, she wouldn't be here without your Dad's contribution! It's all there somewhere, your history, somewhere in the sweep of her brow, the shape of her eyes, the twinkle in her eye.

I better stop now xx

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Moomoomie · 14/10/2011 10:16

Thinking of you today.
My father died suddenly 10 years ago, whilst we were going through the assesment to adopt.
When we were matched with a family, I knew it was meant to be. The oldest childs birthday was a few days after my dads and the baby was born a few days before he died. Very bittersweet.
I know how much he would love my girls.

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lolaflores · 14/10/2011 10:36

thank you all you lovely people. that has helped me so much. good tears now.

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pumpkinsmash · 14/10/2011 11:32

I hope you are OK Lola. x

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ImperialBlether · 14/10/2011 20:28

How sad that you didn't have more time with him.

Maybe you have to reinterpret how you feel when you see your daughter with her father - maybe it's relief that you feel, that her father is there for her and she won't have to go through what you had to suffer. You might be feeling it's envy when it's actually overwhelming relief that her life will be different.

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kunahero · 14/10/2011 21:52

Lola, Big hugs,

I lost my mum 4 years ago. My dw fell pg the day after mum was cremated and dd's due date turned out to be my mums birthday! DD was late but is the image of her gran she will never know.

I truly believe that there is a bit of my mum here with us in my dd and there will be a bit of your dad in your dc so he is there with you at all times.

Never stop talking to your dad, no one has yet proved that they cant hear us when they've gone and i know it makes me feel better talking to my mum.