My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

My head is in turmoil - can't make decisions - which should I choose?

15 replies

Pinkflipflop · 10/10/2011 20:33

This is a huge decision for dh and I, we have gone so far done the road but I'm having doubts so here goes:

Option 1
Small detatched house
Nice, quiet area
15 miles from my permanent job (v hard to get/worked v hard)
No family close/family live 90 miles away
DH shift work
See DH every day
No real commute
Future child care will be expensive (32 now and would like dc)

Or

Option 2
Fabulous house in country (am totally seduced by the house)
Family close so could help with future child care
DH job not certain to last on ongoing basis (depends on euro)
Have to commute 180 miles per day or stay away during the week
Will miss dh dreadfully
Will only be in new house at weekends if stay over close to work during week

We are sale agreed on our house and I feel can't let the buyers down.

I am shaking and feel under pressure to make a decision.

What should I choose? Which options sounds the best? Any wise people out there?

OP posts:
Report
HelpMeChoose · 10/10/2011 20:36

Option 1 :)

Report
Uglymush · 10/10/2011 20:38

If you want a family IMO it has to be option 1. childcare may end up being expensive but I know I couldn't do an 180 mile commute and bring up a child. Think of your long term family life

Report
Kayano · 10/10/2011 20:42

Option 1.

Report
Strangedays · 10/10/2011 20:42

Option 1

Report
Proudnreallyveryscary · 10/10/2011 20:43

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1

Oh and

1

Report
Muddlewitch · 10/10/2011 20:43

I would say option 1 if it has to be one of them.

If you are not 100% happy with it though, then neither. I completely understand what you mean about not upsetting the buyers, but you can't make a life changing decision just to not upset complete strangers :)

Are you sure you want either of them? Any chance of something between the two? Hmm

Report
RandomMess · 10/10/2011 20:44

Option 1 without a doubt

Report
AKissIsNotAContract · 10/10/2011 20:44

option 1

Report
LeBOF · 10/10/2011 20:44

1

Report
Pinkflipflop · 10/10/2011 20:45

What do I do about the buyers who are so lovely and really want our house?

We haven't signed anything - can we pull out of the sale?

OP posts:
Report
ManicPanic · 10/10/2011 20:46

Are you crazy? Option 2!

Easy way to tell what you really want:

Flip a coin. If it is heads and you feel really disappointed it wasn't tails - well there's your decision. If it's heads and you jump up, shout 'yes!' and punch the air, well there you go!

What a lovely choice to have to make!

Report
Pinkflipflop · 10/10/2011 20:46

Between the 2 not an option as we agreed to sell our house at a really low price as we were buying the fabulous country house at a great price (belongs to parents)

OP posts:
Report
AKissIsNotAContract · 10/10/2011 20:55

Until you've exchanged contracts you can pull out of the sale.

Report
izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 10/10/2011 21:36

As you're planning to have dc sooner rather than later (presumably in the next 3 years) I'd go for option 2 because you're in love with the house and you'll have support close at hand when you have pfb plus I think you'll be dissatisfied if you settle for option 1.

The downside is that you'll be staying away from your new home during the week but maybe you can negotiate working at home now and again or working flexitime so that you do more hours Mon-Thurs and leave earlier on Fridays.

Report
ScareyFairenuff · 10/10/2011 21:37

Option 1

because

with Option 2 the commute would be an expensive nightmare.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.