i love him but not in love with him thinking of someone else i feel like a bitch :(

[Pinkbump3]

I have been with oh for 14 years got together when i was 20 he was 30 with a failed marriage and 2 kids, we have children but never married mostly life is ok

but i feel trapped he is a great guy most of the time and a complete knob a lot of the time! he tells me he loves me every day and would do almost anything for me but he has such a short fuse i cant stand it!

he yells first about everything got me and kids in tears then apologises 5 mins later when hes calm most of the time i just let it slide but sometimes i lose the plot and tell him to feck off and dont come back!

its eggshells wondering what mood he is in hes not nor has ever been violent he just flies off handle then rationalises but i hate it! hes been suffering depression brought on by some thing my step daughter has put the family through and i understand that he is getting medical help with this but life is soooooooooooooooooo boring with him! he knows im bored i tell him all the time and his answer is go for a walk or something!! aaarrggghhh

as i write this he is lay on sofa snoring! ok he was at work but so was i and been up all night with a baby and sorted kids out for tea/bath/bed etc ! while every night he lays sleeping on sofa or out to his football then on sofa! he never moves off the fucking thing!

All that said i do love him despite the bad patch he is a good guy and will help anyone.

BUT

I own my own small business ( i had to start something to escape boredom)!!
and here is where thing get complicated.....i rent premises and the guy i rent from every time i speak to him i get butterflies like a stupid teen crush!! even writing this i get them, i cant get him out of my mind he is a sweetheart,hunky,gorgeous you name it....i have never made any advances to him or vice versa but there is a spark i do know that and my best friend commented on it yesterday, thing is i know i will never cheat on oh as i would not put him,my kids or myself through that i would end my relationship first.....

the big Q is what to do? will i get over this?