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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

What does it mean when a man-one that your are not related to, touches your face?

30 replies

vaindemi · 07/09/2011 13:21

Started thread on chat, got a lot of light-hearted responses-which is OK and I don't mind, but maybe thought relationships was best place to ask because, hopefully, there'll be a more serious response here.
Guy I really, really fancy (both of us are single) was chatting to me the other day and he touched by left cheek (with his hand before anybody makes a joke . Could this mean that he finds me attractive?

OP posts:

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HairyGrotter · 07/09/2011 13:24

Just ask him. Or, get him drunk

loopylou6 · 07/09/2011 13:27

I would say he finds you attractive. Why don't you ask him out for a drink?

vaindemi · 07/09/2011 13:28

To be honest, I'd probably think the same if somebody else asked about this, but when it's yourself, you'd like others opinions IYSWIM.

OP posts:

vaindemi · 07/09/2011 13:29

It seems a bit of an intimate thing to do from somebody who is not (yet) close to you, isn't it? Touching their face, that is.

OP posts:

G1nger · 07/09/2011 14:19

Well let's put it this way, no one who's not a lover has ever done this to me. Was he brushing off food, though? ;)

vaindemi · 07/09/2011 14:57

Lol. I hadn't eaten. It's a good sign. Thanks all.

OP posts:

nametapes · 07/09/2011 15:35

Yeah, he does like you.....maybe a bit of a liberty, but then i dont know how intimately you were chatting and whether he was a bit tiddly or not. ? ? ?

SunRaysthruClouds · 07/09/2011 16:11

He wanted to see if you had disguised facial hair

emsyj · 07/09/2011 17:52

I would find it rather creepy if someone who I wasn't related to or romantically involved with did this. If you didn't fancy him, would your toes have curled?

If he does that to you when he either (1) has no idea whether you like him or not or (2) knows you like him but has chosen not to pursue it by asking you out then I see that as a bad sign tbh. If he doesn't know that you fancy him, it is a very intimate way to touch someone and is inappropriate. If he does know, but hasn't asked you out and tried to pursue a relationship with you (because he feels the same), I would be concerned that he might take advantage of you by pursuing a physical relationship without any sort of attachment or commitment.

Will probably get flamed for this, but in my view you need to be very careful as this would be a huge red flag for me.

Proudnscary · 07/09/2011 18:51

I was just trying to work out what a man-one was.

Errrr...I wouldn't really read too much into it, just see what or what doesn't unfold.

vaindemi · 07/09/2011 19:26

Interesting view, emsyj, oh yes, my toes would have curled if I had not fancied him and I would immediately have moved his hand away and probably dealt with the matter with a joke but made it quite clear that it was unacceptable. But I do fancy him so I feel different about it.

I'm not going to flame you, you've put a downer on it for me, but don't worry, I did ask for opinions

Just got to see how it goes, I suppose.

OP posts:

peppapighastakenovermylife · 07/09/2011 20:05

Ooh I need more details.

Tell us more about the situation - what were you doing, where and how did he touch you / why?

MangoMonster · 07/09/2011 20:14

That's a sweet caring thing to do. A guy once told me that if a bloke touches your face he really likes you. But I guess it depends on the guy, does he do it to others a lot?

LindsayWagner · 07/09/2011 20:17

Ew, creepy. Sorry, but completely what emsyj said. Boundaries, innit.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 07/09/2011 20:20

But could it not just be a way of flirting - perhaps he likes her but doesnt have the confidence that she likes him?

emsyj · 07/09/2011 20:35

Hmmm, isn't confident that she likes him and doesn't want to say 'fancy a drink down the pub on Friday night?' but is happy to touch her in really quite an intrusive and intimate way without so much as a by-your-leave? Nah. I reckon he knows she likes him and is rubbing his hands in glee at the prospect of taking full advantage of the fact.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 07/09/2011 20:40

The cynic versus the romantic .

Good point.

I think it all depends on how he touched her face. And how much they know each other. And his personality.

Sweet/ shy guy gently and briefly touching her face in a smily way = good

Over confident guy playing her and knowing it = bad

emsyj · 07/09/2011 20:50

I guess I just don't see a sweet/shy guy touching a woman's face when they are not involved intimately unless it is in a romantic movie... To me, that just isn't natural and wouldn't happen in real life.

I think in general if a man is keen on you, he will ask you out (rather than fondle your face - or any other part of you!)

peppapighastakenovermylife · 07/09/2011 20:59

at the face fondling. Now that does sound creepy!

What about a touch on the knee? Shoulder? Hand?

emsyj · 07/09/2011 21:19

Touch on the knee - bit intrusive and would imagine normally done by drunk people

Touch on the shoulder - patronising (I would recoil even if DH did that! But I have a 'thing' about people touching my back)

Touch on the hand - within normal social boundaries. Acceptable. You would shake hands with a stranger, touching hands is not intimate.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 07/09/2011 21:40

Hmmm....see I think a time scale needs to be added. Within a period of flirtation that leads up to a date I would find a touch on the knee flirtatious not creepy.

Disclaimer - I haven't dated since I was a teenager

peppapighastakenovermylife · 07/09/2011 21:40

And please come back OP!

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emsyj · 07/09/2011 22:01

Yes, we need to know who is right OP!!! The romantic or the cynic!

LindsayWagner · 07/09/2011 22:07

She will wake up in the morning and he will be staring at her face, very close. You mark my words. Mark them.

emsyj · 07/09/2011 22:19

No good will come of this.

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