I'm a new boy here and have read a number of useful threads, but i can't find one that quite answers my dilemma.
Before you start judging i am trying to do the right thing, and so far have yet had a female perspective.
Right I have fallen in love with OW (plenty here on that, and most of you will call this an affair which i accept )
OW's marriage is over as she was caught texting etc. she has an undiagnosed chronic fatigue like illness, and 2 dc's.
her dh said he will stay with them until she is better.
I told her i wanted to come and live with her and look after her and her dc's.
but i am married and 2 dcs myself. She rightly said, no way, go and sort your own situation out before bringing all of that drama into her life. While we have very strong feelings for each other we have agreed not to communicate with each other to allow me to sort out my stuff.
Due to all of the above i nearly walked out on my dw. I told her i was v unhappy I wanted out etc, but not about ow.
I'm trying to do the right thing and work at my marriage, however much it hurts me to have left ow but here is my issue.
Having agreed to try and work through this not because DW wants me to, which she does but because i know it is the right thing to do. DW wants to fully understand how i got myself into the pickle i'm in, and i'm keen to give it my all.
i also know my dw has vry strong views about such things and i know her view has alway been "by all means fall for someone else but then you're out and don't you dare come back"
So here am i trying to explain why i have got myself to where i am.
the answer is very simple the OW. but if i say that then everything will collapse
or do i try and work it out and bury this secret deep, which also makes coming up with truthful answers very hard for me, plus the guilt etc But this will give us a shot at saving our marriage, being a unit for the dcs etc etc.
Many threads seem to say fess up and talk it through, equally if i do that then i know i'm finishing it, and there will be nothing to work out.
I'm no saint and i've done wrong but i'm trying to do the right thing.
I welcome your wise words and your abuse and probably some in between
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
To confess or not to confess?
dadinapickle · 05/09/2011 23:27
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.