recently found out DH had been cheating on me for 4 months. And my heads all over the place.
He took the OWs phone number at his works xmas party (not someone he works with) but didnt text her for about a month -she sent inital text & he replied. She didnt initially know DH was married, they text for a few months as friends, the turned into sex texts and then decided to meet for sex. At some point he told her he was married and she was also in a relationship. The affair has now stopped but only because I caught him out, he has admitted that if I didnt catch him out he would probably still be sleeping with her but said he would of never left me and kids.
Ive only knnown for a few weeks so know its early days. He is still living here to keep things normal for the kids and i'd rather know where he is IYSWIM.
He is doing all he can to make it work helping with kids, around the house etc- all the things he wasnt doing before. But he wont talk to me about it now. He just saying thinking about it makes him feel sick. If I ask him anything he will give a quick answer the change the subject. Or asks if Iwant him to leave.
His mum said to me today that maybe he feels hes had the affair and now its over he thinks its all dealt with in his head. Which I agree with.
Ive been looking into getting counselling but if he wont talk to me at home I feel theres no point going down that route, he might as well just go now.
I have so many questions I want to ask but think that I dont actually want to know the answers or that it might be best not to know, if that makes sense.
I dont know if theres a future for us or not my heads all over the place.
Hes hurt me so badly I never thought he would ever do this to me or the kids no matter how bad things were between us.
To me it mostly sounds like it was just about the sex, but on the smae note he told her he loved her and he misses her smile,he told me my smile is what attracted me to him when he first saw me so for DH to say that to her REALLY hurts as it was our thing.
I also know she was a lot slimmer than me so has now stirred up issues with my figure, appearance etc.
Im trying to keep my head up for the kids but its so hard I dont know where to turn.
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Relationships
confused after DHs affair
4 replies
imawigglyworm · 29/08/2011 22:53
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