really need some advice as im going crazy

[jess022011]

Hi this is my first thread and I am a bit nervous lol
Here's my problem I really want to have a baby but my partner says he's not ready and that I'm still
Young. I'm 20 and he's 24 we've been together for two years now but I've known him since I was 15
I can't seem to overcome this feeling I just want to have my own baby to take of and to love I have no children but
I have been pregnant before (both unplanned) which ended in miscarriage my partner was shocked but did change his mind and came
Around to the idea of having a baby (that was abt 2years ago) now he's adamant he doesn't want one until a few years but I just
Can't be happy with that.
I don't want to 'accidentally' get pregnant because I could never do that to him plus it wouldn't be fair on the child
But I can't stop feeling this way, the fact of not becoming a mum now its making me sad to wait 4 years or so to have my
First child just breaks my heart.

I just don't know what to do

(Sorry 4 going on but feels good to just write about it)

[buzzsore]

I think you should wait a bit too.

You're 20, is there nothing you want to do - travel, study, get a career, climb a mountain? Sure, you can do all those things later in life, but it's a lot easier when you're young and child-free.

Time is on your side, get some more fun and life experience so you know who you are and what you're capable of and can share that with your children.

[Fairenuff]

How long would you be prepared to wait? 3 years, 2 ?

If you can, come to a compromise, agree a time when you are both happy to start trying for a baby.

In the meantime, as buzzsore says, get out there and enjoy life.

[LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay]

Jess, you really are very young yet (sorry, put 'old womanly hat on time' ) and you really need to be out and about and living it up for a while. I was still at uni at your age and wouldn't have been a fit parent.

It's up to you and your dp of course, but I do honestly recommend you wait a while. you have many years of good, child-bearing age left ahead of you. Wait a while, sweetie....

[girlwithouttattoo]

Hey Jess I would wait too.

I didn't have a baby until I was in my 30's as I wanted to do all those things that have been suggested to you and have a little bit of money behind me.

My DS is only 5 months old and after being with my partner for 6 years and agreeing that we were both ready for a baby he told me 3 weeks ago he wanted out and he's 35!

I'm not saying that its hard for all men to handle a baby but even now I didn't realise how much it would affect our relationship. Maybe your other half is not quite ready, some men never are and I don't want you to end up on your own if its something he can't handle yet.

Don't want to put a dampner on things as I too had that strong pull to have a baby with the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but you need to have a serious talk and look at some compromises so you remain happy together.

xx