Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I'm suppressing some anger about DH

4 replies

likingthespring · 12/06/2011 21:42

He put me through emotional hell when we found out I was pregnant with DD1. Turns out he really didn't want kids despite the fact that we'd been trying for 2 years and he'd even been for a sperm test. He came round as soon as she was born but then I fell pregnant quickly with DD2. He really wanted me to have an abortion. I was devastated at this but knew I couldn't go through with it. Cue another horrible time although not for as long as last time as I gave him the choice - either to sort himself out or I would leave. He sorted himself out and all has been fine.
I loved him so much before all this and I still love him but some of that feeling I had has gone. I often think about some of the horrible things that occurred at the time - the way he was with me. I know I need to move on. It's the first time I have written/said how I feel :(

OP posts:

Report

BBwannaB · 12/06/2011 22:19

Didn't want you to go unanswered, sorry I don't have any experience of this but I feel so sorry that you are suffering over this. I imagine he may well be struggling with how he reacted too - especially now that he realises how wonderful your DC are. Relationship counselling?

Report

TeddyMcardle · 12/06/2011 22:22

Counselling together is all I can think of, I can't imagine getting over that reaction, not once but twice either :(

Report

Vix1980 · 12/06/2011 22:38

How is he with the children now - still kind of regret them or a super dad when theyre around. I think you should of got to the bottom of why he didnt want kids but wanted to try for 2 years and even went as far as getting tests done, was this just to make you happy?

I think the only way you can move on is to confront the issues you have right now, these being the same hurt feelings you have from your past but all come down to the way you were treated by the 1 person you needed support from, you definatly need to tell him how you feel, see what he says, he may think the same deep down and feel shameful but if you dont speak out your resentment will surely grow bigger until there is a serious divide between you, if after this he doesnt open up then the next step woul be to suggest a counsellor and see what he says, good luck

Report

likingthespring · 14/06/2011 22:58

Thank you for your replies - I appreciate it. He's a good Dad to the girls and has been very good to me since they were born which is why it seems so wierd to me that I saw this side of him. I think he is sorry - he did apologise. I'm not sure that he thinks about it and doesn't know that I do. Might have to pluck up courage to talk about it with him.