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Relationships

Weird neighbour behaviour keeps me awake!

29 replies

brabbinsandfyffe · 05/06/2011 10:59

Got new neighbours downstairs from my flat a couple of months ago. Apparently it is two lads. They've been totally fine most of the time, got no complaints about music or anything. All good.

I can hear them moving about and I'm sure they can hear me, no probs about that but in the last month or so one of them has started slamming and banging doors shut, usually once or twice really loudly, about half an hour after I go to bed. I know that sounds weird but it really is the same time lag every time it happens, no matter what time I go. I have bought earplugs and moved my bed around away from the (partition) walls, but the shudder it makes still wakes me up and it's really annoying.

Last night someone was pacing up and down the long corridor of their apartment, and in and out of rooms, literally all night; they have heavy footfalls and it makes the room above (in my flat) shake, and I actually shake in my bed. Every other minute for a minute or so...ALL night. Couldn't sleep till half three, went into other rooms and same there as they go up and down, woke up at half four and still happening, still going on now.

They also have a punchbag (apparently) which they punch hell out of for ten mins now and again, which makes everythign in the flat shake really loudly.

It seems a really small thing to contact about but both these are bothering me and I really do need to sleep, also have a health condition triggered by lack of sleep.

Should I bother sending a polite note, or get over it? Also, what the hell are they doing (just being nosey now)???

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brabbinsandfyffe · 05/06/2011 11:01

Sorry might have put this in totally wrong place.

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hanaka88 · 05/06/2011 11:03

Can you not giggle sweetly and say 'ooh you must have a very hard punch my room shakes when you are on your punch bag!' and smile really nicely and if they appologise say 'oh don't worry I only go to bed at x and you don't usually do it after then anyway' and add another lovely smile then change the subject

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brabbinsandfyffe · 05/06/2011 11:08

I could do could't I...the punchbag thing is annoying but it's the cupboard and pacing that's keeping me awake really. Because they always bang it really really loud, and it always happens so often and at such a similar time (after I go to bed) that I'm pretty sure it's not a co-incidence and they might be just doing it to wind me and the bloke downstairs up

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brabbinsandfyffe · 05/06/2011 11:08

and thanks hanaka :)

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jeee · 05/06/2011 11:12

Honestly, if they wanted to wind you up, they'd do a lot more than pace up and down and slam a door a couple of times. But it would get on my nerves too.

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hanaka88 · 05/06/2011 11:20

Well you can add something like 'it's nt really your fault anyway, the Walls are so horribly thin, I can even hear you walking and closing doors! Can you hear me?' then depending on their answers:
no= 'oh good I try to keep it down but was worried'

yes='oh no how embarrasing! I'm so sorry I'll try not to shut my doors so hard'

adding another lovely smile. I'm all for making people feel a bit guilty.

When my neighbors park slightly over my drive so I can't get my great big car in I knocked and said;
'hi I'm really really sorry but I can't get my car in, I'm such a rubbish driver, I wouldn't want to try and scrath your lovely car'
good vibes all round I smiled and thanked them and they never did it again.

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PamSco · 05/06/2011 11:25

How about next time it is a particularly loud crash/bang run down with concern that you thought someone was injured? Makes them think you are just concerned but also highlights you can hear it.

I did this with some particularly loud screaming "love-making" that used to wake me up - worked a treat they piped down knowing I could hear them.

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Naoko · 05/06/2011 11:30

You could just go and ask them not to? I know it's terribly non-British to not pussyfoot around and be apologetic and somehow make out it's your problem not theirs, but honestly I don't see a problem with 'Hi, I'm your neighbour, and I was wondering if you're aware that the walls are really thin and that when you slam doors in the night it is really loud in my flat, could you keep it down'. Be polite and chatty, tone is important, but I always find it better to just be forthright... (but then people tell me that I'm strange and foreign, which is true, the foreign part at least :o so what the hell do I know...)

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BluddyMoFo · 05/06/2011 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brabbinsandfyffe · 05/06/2011 11:31

Thanks all - jeee maybe you're right there, they do other stuff like bouncing things off the wall and so on as well, I do think they're either startlingly unaware of others or on a bit of a mild wind-up thing. Hanaka I've done that car thing too, worked a treat. Like the sound of your suggestion there, bit of reverse psychology for them! PamSco thought of you doing that to your neighbours made me laugh, I might have to give that a go!

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brabbinsandfyffe · 05/06/2011 11:32

Bluddy my natural instinct is to damn well do exactly that, cheeky bastards! I'm sure they've heard me going 'FFS' before now, prob made it worse though

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thefirstMrsDeVere · 05/06/2011 11:37

We dont always realise how much noise we are making or how it travels.
My neighbours were pulling their hair out because my OH used to let the foyer door slam behind him and bound up the stairs. He worked shifts.

He had no idea, I had no idea of how noisy it was next door. I couldnt hear it up three flights and he has never been the most 'aware' of people.

They stuck it out for months before they said anything. By that time they were ready for a fight. I was mortified. If only they had said something sooner.

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brabbinsandfyffe · 05/06/2011 11:48

Hi Mrs, yes I wonder if that's what's really happening, I'd rather get it sorted early than let anything build up over a misunderstanding (or anyway). Might stick a note through the door then. Like I say, got nothing against them and they seem ok otherwise, so I guess they could just not be aware. Probably a better assumption to start with then, despite the FFS route being totally attractive!

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garlicbutter · 05/06/2011 11:49

I'm with Naoko and MrsDV. Just tell 'em! And do it before you're too sleep-deprived and angry to do it reasonable :)

I've had varying results with this in the past, mostly good but one memorable neighbour was just a flaming nutcase.

Another past neighbour complained about my music - he was well past 'reasonable' by then, and I was somewhat amazed he could hear me from TWO floors below, when nobody else had a problem. The following day he sent a note explaining that he has very sensitive hearing and is an expert in bird songs because of this ... I turned my volume down and gave him a subscription to the twitcher's magazine my employers published. Best of friends after that Wink

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brabbinsandfyffe · 05/06/2011 12:35

:) Bit of luck with the twitcher magazine there then! right you've convinced me, I'm going with the very polite 'I'm sure you don't realise but' approach, and have written a reasonable note while I'm reasonable. Have put in about the health condition too (which is not great today as no sleep aarrgg) so hopefully that will help. Fingers crossed!

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garlicbutter · 05/06/2011 12:47

Ooh, well done! Good luck :)

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brabbinsandfyffe · 05/06/2011 14:28

Well they're in, can hear them constantly tramping about, but no reply. ho hum

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garlicbutter · 05/06/2011 14:36

Bugger :(

Buy them a carpet?

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brabbinsandfyffe · 05/06/2011 14:46

It's me who's upstairs from them! Still finding the whole thing really odd. We'll see what happens tonight. If contact fails and I keep losing sleep I guess I could speak to their landlord (flat in same block) but really really would so rather it didn't go down that route. Can't keep losing sleep tho.

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garlicbutter · 05/06/2011 15:11

I know what you mean. Nutjob was a downstairs neighbour, who must have worn metal segs on his shoes as his footsteps resounded really loudly on his wooden floors - which also amplified other noises. Apparently, the next tenant managed to get him to take his shoes off at night by asking the landlord to carpet his flat.

I do hope they're more considerate tonight! Most people are, fingers crossed for you.

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hanaka88 · 05/06/2011 15:18

Fingers crossed for a peaceful night

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lazarusb · 05/06/2011 15:56

I feel for you. Neighbours daughter had a few friends round last night, lots of loud until 11pm when they went out. Sigh of relief until I realised they had left an upstairs window open and a door was slamming somewhere in their empty house! I was awake until about 2am. I hope your note works - maybe they are just gormless unaware of the noise they make. My teenage son regularly woke me up looking for something to eat at 3am Hmm

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brabbinsandfyffe · 05/06/2011 16:13

Thank you, and also thanks everyone who answered. It seems I share your pain! True that most people are considerate, and at least this lot don't do the whole 'loud music and drunken shouting' thing, so I'm lucky in that way. We recently DID have drunken shouty neighbours and loads of other people had to complain at the same time before they'd pack it in! Hnnn!

In the end I'm probably not best cut out for flat living, but can't afford anywhere else so it's tough really :). I dream of a shack on a mountainside (with internet and supermarket delivery of course)

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brabbinsandfyffe · 06/06/2011 07:13

Well, no reply but heard them laughing and discussing it. Charming..pacing continued all night making room shake once again (still going now, must be hardcore insomniac or something) but no doorbanging at least. took two hours to go to sleep

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thefirstMrsDeVere · 06/06/2011 10:42

Oh dear.
Perhaps they are just being macho and it will settle down.

They may not want you to think they are doing it because you told them to.

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