I have given birth to a demon

[Quattrocento]

DD gave DS a birthday present recently

Said birthday present consisted of her old IPOD shuffle, which was no longer required

DS was very grateful

Say what you will about hand-me-down birthday presents but they are not particularly thoughtful IMO

But then she compounded this by STEALING what was now her brother's IPOD shuffle, and SELLING it on Ebay

Suggestions?

[SlateFloor]

How old is she, and how old is he?

Does she get pocket money? I would withdraw pocket money from her until there is enough to buy another second hand iPod on eBay.

[thisisyesterday]

well... has it been sent or is it still in the house?

if so then i would just e-mail the buyer on her behalf and cancel it.

how old is she??

[pjmama]

Did she no longer require the ipod shuffle because she had replaced it with something better? If so, I would take it away and give it to her brother to replace the one she took from him.

[bleedingstill]

nothing in the least wrong with second hand gifts.
The other, not good

[thisisyesterday]

oooooh pjmama!!!! clever!

[pjmama]

I am an evil genius

[Quattrocento]

She is 13, he is 11

She no longer needed the IPOD thingy because she has an Iphone

Oh the the Ipod has been despatched. She carefully wrapped it up in brown paper.

I despair, I really do. Her Iphone has been confiscated

[ShoutyHamster]

I think I'd sell the Iphone, buy her brother a new shuffle, and ask her how she wants to earn the rest of the money back to put towards a new Iphone.

Zero tolerance - that is bad

[macdoodle]

13yr old with iphone

[thisisyesterday]

is there not some kind of age limit on ebay? if not there ought to be

i would be more inclined to stop all computer access tbh if she cannot be trusted not to do things like that.

and yes, she needs to buy her brother a new ipod

[Doha]

She needs to find the money somehow to buy her brother a new Ipod and her Iphone should be confiscated until it is done. For really good measure with draw all internet access as a punishment.
You need to nip this behaviour in the bud now as at 13 years she should really know better and be prepared to take the consequences for her actions.
Poor DS

[HerHissyness]

Erm , sorry quattro, but no, you have not given birth to a demon, she was not born this entitled.

By giving her an iPod and then an iPhone however, you may very well have created a monster.

Confiscate the lot, get her a phone appropriate to her age, and reign her way back in. Nip this in the bud now, or you will have problems.

[BooBooGlass]

Blimey I have to agree here. WHy on earth are you giving her so much freedom? Am ebay account and an iphone, both of which you are presumably paying for. Stop spoiling her. I completely agree with whoever said she was not born htis way- you have allowed it to happen. Do you really think an iphone is an appropriate thing fro a 13 year old to have??

[Gibbous]

Where is the money from the ipod sale? Make her use that to put forward to another one for her brother and yes confiscate her phone until she's made up the rest and cancel her eBay, bank and other accounts. She's clearly not ready for any of this.

But I'm equally concerned about your damning judgement of a 13 year old's present to her younger brother. Everything points towards her having too much expectation along with the entitlement.

[Gibbous]

And that inappropriate expectation is also partly to blame for turning her into a "demon". I'm not enamoured of such name calling either if she's also privy to it.

[Gibbous]

In fact perhaps she picked up on your unreasonable snubbing of what she probably thought was a thoughtful present for a 13 year old to give to a younger sibling and rebelled. Perhaps even she is rebelling against all this materialism generally. I don't think punishment alone is going to be enough here, there needs to be a fair amount of retuning.

[squeakytoy]

How on earth has she got an ebay account when you are supposed to be over 18, verified by bank card or credit card, and only able to offer paypal (therefore requiring a paypal account too) to sell this sort of item?

[Quattrocento]

Oh just don't go there with the Ebay account stuff. She set one up using her father's credit card. None of us use Ebay, apart from DD. She claims she is entrepreneurial. Which she is, sort of. But she is way way way over any boundaries here.

[DameShirleyKnot]

My DCs are the around the same age as yours and I am a little bit confused as to a number of things.

First off, I am still pretty much in charge of DS1 who is chasing fourteen, and I make sure a card is bought for his younger brother and I also help him pick a gift and usually end up paying for it TBH

DS1 is saving up for an i-phone, so I understand the whole she has an i-phone thing to a degree, however - I'm not quite sure how your eldest has an i-phone, and the youngest doesn't even own a shuffle? Did she buy the i-phone for herself? or was it a gift?

The e-bay account thing is odd as well, bearing in mind that she has somehow procurred her father's credit card.

All in all I am going to say

[WobblyWidgetOnTheScooper]

Has she done things like this before then?

[empirestateofmind]

It is not the iPhone per se that surprises me. DD2 has one, which she saved up for. I have one after seeing how fab hers was.

Presumably you have tacitly approved the ebay account, if you haven't actually closed it.

BUT why did she treat her brother so horribly? That is the one that concerns me. It was nasty greedy behaviour. That is what needs to be sorted out.

[Quattrocento]

Yes, the Ebay account was ultimately approved, and she sells her old games and clothes and stuff on it.

And yes again, behaviour to her brother was shocking. Really shocking.

[howdidthishappenthen]

I get an odd sense that you are afraid to use some of the injunctions here for fear of your dayghters' reaction.
I am not a mother to teems yet so will limit myself to a to that.

What punishment do you think are appropriate?

[squeakytoy]

Oh just don't go there with the Ebay account stuff. She set one up using her father's credit card. None of us use Ebay, apart from DD. She claims she is entrepreneurial. Which she is, sort of. But she is way way way over any boundaries here.

It sounds to me like she is allowed far too much of her own way, and if she is like this at 13, god help you when she is 16.

You should never have let her use her fathers credit card, I just feel this is utterly ridiculous, and can see you being one of those parents in the Daily Mail at some point, posing with a sad face while complaining that you had no idea your daughter was running up thousands of pounds worth of debt behind your backs. It could very easily happen. If you, as parents, have no idea how eBay work, then no way on earth should you be allowing a child free reign to do as she pleases. Chargebacks and scams are commonplace and you need your wits about you when selling on there these days. A child, no matter how much of a Richard Branson she thinks she is, is not capable, or legally responsible for coping with it.

I would cancel that account right now before she lands you in very serious trouble.

[Longtalljosie]

Well - what are you going to do about it?

My instinct would be for her to buy him a new ipod shuffle, with pocket money stopped until it was paid for.

And cancel the ebay account.