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If you have or had a good relationship with your Dad, come and tell me about it

(92 Posts)
BertieBotts Thu 12-May-11 19:37:56

Because I'm not sure I know what one is like sad and I think I should, for DS' sake. And I'm interested smile

Doha Thu 12-May-11 20:35:44

I has a wonderful relationship with my dad (adopted dad). he was my best friend as l was growing up and l can honestly say he is the only man in my life who has never let me down.
He was always there for me as a child and youn adult, when l moved away from home at 17 to live in nursing residencies, he phoned every night and also wrote me wee short letters which he posted, so l would have mail to look forward too.
The day DH and l got married, after everyone had left for the church and it was just him and l in the house he asked me if l was sure about getting married and that it was not too late to change my mind. He would have happily have cancelled everything if l had wanted.
I miss him and have done every day since he dies 10 years ago

Ormirian Thu 12-May-11 20:41:19

My dad is clever, funny, loving, honorable, trustworthy, generous and is fascinated and in thrall to the world around him. He is also irritating, a little self-centred and sometimes thoughtless. But because I love him so much I can overlook the bad bits.

He loves me a great deal more than I deserve and has been the best father I could ever have had.

Sadly I am coming to realise that he wasn't such a good father to DB and that there are hidden fissures in their relationship that I think are starting to open up.

SpareOhs Thu 12-May-11 20:46:31

I adore - and respect - my dad (and he feels the same way about me).

We had a few ups and downs when I was a teenager, and I know he's despaired of a few of my choices in life smile. But he's been my rock, and he's never, ever let me down. I know he's very proud of me, even if my life's not quite turned out the way he would have chosen.

He is the most loyal, trustworthy and loving man I've ever met. Even my friends think he's wonderful. He's been through an enormous amount of emotional upheaval in the last 10 years and yet he has never not been there for me.

(I do sometimes wonder, though, if my relationship with my dad has adversely affected my romantic relationships with men! No-one quite lives up - can anyone say Electra Complex?! grin)

I dread the day that he's not there anymore.

PaigeTurner Thu 12-May-11 20:53:07

My BD was a rubbish alcoholic. He's now passed away, I didn't see him much.

But my stepfather was amazing. He came along while I was an unhappy 8 year old and changed my life. He totally 'got' children, he knew how to have fun (unlike my mother). When I was a TERRIBLE teenager we'd have 'dad' nights where we'd watch gory films, or when I was going to clubs (as a 14 year old) he'd come with me and we'd have a laugh (and he could obviously keep an eye on me). When my mum and he split up when I was 17, I went totally off the rails for many, many years.

Twenty years later he is back in my life, and we have a great relationship, he has helped me with so many practical things without a second thought, and we go out to breakfast (with my DC) once a week. He's very forgetful though, so we often talk about the same things...

Just proves to me that blood is not always thicker than water.

davidtennantsmistress Thu 12-May-11 21:32:42

my dad is fab.

he's there for me so much more now as an adult than as a child. he worked a lot which for him was him doing his bit & providing for us, mum was there for the emotional stuff, however he was there for money advice, he was firm but fair, (not that we always understood that). immensly proud of us, even when we both screwed up big time - not once were we told we'd screwed up - much less told right this is your problem how are you going to fix it and sort it out - i'm here but it's your thing to sort.

(apart from the time DB came home with a t shirt ripped by another boy's dad - dad matched down to this man's house with DB in tow and basically told him not to lay a hand on his son again and if there was any issues he'd have to take it up with him) - only time i've seen him semi violent.

he gave me away on my wedding day & literally at the church in a dress with a horse & trap after spending out over £15K said to me 'it's not too late to change your mind'

when things when wrong with XH I rang him and he was upset on the phone with me (have tears atm thinking about it) came home and he tried to talk sense into me - ie if XH wanted to try again I should etc. then when I started opening up about what XH had been like & what had been going on, he said 'you're never to go back to that man again' and from that moment to this he's taken both DS & I back under his wing again. i've been supported & guided as an adult, DS has had a strong father figure who he respects. he's got more patience with DS than he had with DB & I, he loves telling us about his gardening & encourages the grandchildren out in the garden as well to plant & do things.

he's always there with a hug - even when I was being silly with an x BF pre DP & post xh, he said to me quite firmly, I don't know this boy but I don't like him (I was 27 he was 30) he didn't like the boy who'd upset his daughter said he wasn't good enough gave me a big hug & that was that.

He's a man of few emotions as he's very down the line & has a v v clear view of waht's right and wrong with a stiff upper lip to a degree but has become softer over the years. Oh is also a good cook as well (but we don't tell mum that lol).

I think the main point is he's allowed us to be ourselves, with guidance respect loyalty and love. couldn't ask for a better dad. a lot of DP's quirks remind me of him as well which is nice in a lot of ways.

oh and finally, after I came home for a bit (moved out at 17) we had a family meal in a pub, I asked for a half a guiness & he said 'don't you want a ladies drink like a vodka or something' grin love my dad - plus we have the same dry humor.

mrswarthog Thu 12-May-11 21:43:27

my dad has always been funny, naughty, entertaining, a rock & utterly dependable. He has been married to my mum for 42 years & they still hold hands. He has always said that the world is built on a woman's work & is enduringly proud of my sister & I. He adores my brother & is at ease in all companies. Has said his life is based on his family, faith & football. His grandkids adore him, & he them particularly my DD. When he had a series of strokes two years ago (which has left him with some dementia) we thought our world had ended. Despite some difficulties he is outstandingly still my dad & a lovely man.

Saffysmum Thu 12-May-11 21:43:37

I adore my dad. He's my rock. He has always loved me unconditionally, and I have loved him the same. I am so grateful that my sons are so much like him and take after him. I cherish every day with him. I love his dry sense of humour, his laid back attitude, and the fact that as I fast approach fifty, I'm still his little girl. If I can be half the parent he is to me, to my kids, then I would be happy.

munkymaz Thu 12-May-11 21:49:05

what Saffy said. Though I'm only just 21 40 ish....

squeakytoy Thu 12-May-11 21:59:03

I was adopted, and I was a total daddys girl. My dad was fantastic when I was a kid, always happy to take me and my friends swimming or to the park, and spent loads of time with me. He was the stereotypical strict Dad when I hit my teens, but he was also fairly reasonable too. We had a very close relationship and I will always regret not spending more time with him as I got into my later teens, but I didnt know then that he would die before I was 25. sad

I still miss him terribly and am now 42.

Flippingebay Thu 12-May-11 22:00:43

Gonna sound corny but my Dad is my hero! He's the one person I know I can always rely on, he'd put his life on the line for me and loves me above anything and anyone - and I'd do the same for him.

In my opinion he's the funniest, most handsome, intelligent, caring, thoughtful man I've ever known. grin

I'm thankful every day for the relationship I have with him....

I bloody hated him as a teenager mind you wink

Mollymax Thu 12-May-11 22:03:24

My dad died 10 years ago and i still miss him each and every day.
We fought like cat and dog while i was growing up, but he was my rock, my constant, he never let me down.
He was always there to bail me out of trouble.
I have some wonderful memories.

My dad (and mum too for the record, but you're not asking about her) is wonderful. I've always been the most important thing to him, he has always been calm, caring, involved in my life - knew the details of my friends at school, homework etc. He always knows the answer or the right thing to do, without being smug about always being right! Some songs I listen to just make me think of him. he has had a health scare recently and I have realised he is not immortal and thought about what the world would be like without him and it is a scary place. My dad/parents getting old and frail terrifies me. But when he was telling me he was downplaying it and telling me not to worry becuase "he isn't" - yeah right, dad.

oh squeakytoy, sorry sad

wearenotinkansas Thu 12-May-11 22:05:07

my dad was/is much more flawed than many other posters it seems. Apparently he had numerous flings (which I can't remember anything about), is pretty rubbish with money and could have a nasty temper - especially with my Mum - but then she wasn't that easy either. He can drive me nuts, we often debate or bicker and he has an irritating habit of winding me up (and any everyone else) for effect.

BUT I've always had a great relationship with him. He was really good at Dad Stuff when I was a kid, would be a human climbing frame, always told brilliant bedtime stories, looked after me when I was ill - and would move heaven and earth for his kids if there was a crisis. I was once very ill when abroad and he pulled every string he could to get Mum and me on the next flight home.

And above all he always believed that I could achieve anything I wanted to - even when the evidence was to the contrary! He never saw being female as a bar to success - so much so that sexism was a real shock to me when I started work.

He's really not perfect, but I definitely have a good relationship with him.

"would move heaven and earth for his kids if there was a crisis"
I think that's all that matters really. My dad would drop anything to help me when I needed it.

And agree about the sexism thing. I have realised my dad's dad in particular is quite sexist (just in an 80-year-old-man way) and yet I never felt held back by any sort of expectations as a child. In fact the opposite - the assumption was that I was "bright", that I would do well academically and would go to university and have a career. From everyone, but mainly my parents.

squeakytoy Thu 12-May-11 22:11:43

I was a horrendous teen, and I would love to be able to tell him (and my mum) that I am sorry for all the shit I put them through. My mum was able to see me grow up (it took a while!) and get married, and died knowing that my life was on the right tracks.

I would love for my dad to have met my husband as I know he would have approved, they are very alike (not always a bonus!)...

My dad certainly wasnt perfect, but I always knew he loved me and would have always done anything to help me out, and if I was in trouble, it was always him I confided in, rather than my mum.

diggingintheribs Thu 12-May-11 22:13:36

would do anything for us kids, worked hard to give us the best education, travelled and introduced us to many cultures doing so, lots of fun memories, encouraged us academically, fantastic grandad

(would say same about mum btw)

In my family there is an ongoing sense that no DH can live up to your Dad - so just think how amazing my great great grandfathers were!!

I think Dads just know and accept that. No apologies usually required smile

PeppermintPasty Thu 12-May-11 22:14:24

a good or great relationship with your dad should feel safe and should make you feel like you can take on the world because you are fab and your dad has told you so. a good dad really listens to you, reads to you, reads your teenage poetry, tells you not to worry about love and that it can sometimes make you feel like a ship being tossed about in stormy waters, going this way then that, but that eventually things will be calmer.

he will sit and listen as you grow up when you have something you are bursting to explain and no one else cares. he'll teach you how to punch properly if the school bully should get to you(how to hold your fist so you don't break your thumb!), he'll tell you secrets and listen to yours and he won't tell your mum.

he'll teach you how to do cool things, whether you're a boy or a girl. he understands how lonely leaving home can be, but you know he's always right there for you. he actively wants to spend time with you, talk to you and learn from you, hug you, laugh with you and even get tipsy with you .

if he's all these things and a million more i haven't listed, then that's what a great relationship with your dad is like, and you'll cherish it forever and miss him every day when he's gone. but you'll also pass on his love and wisdom to your children. you hope.

catinthehat2 Thu 12-May-11 22:24:31

my dad is now very very elderly, and was not young when I came along
totally impressed and amazed with anything & everything I ever did or achieved(!)
loved to play with me when I was little
made me toys like stilts and a sledge
I loved to get up really early so we could hang out together before everyone else got up, just doing stuff like adding up (!!)
always liked my company so I could hang out with him if he was gardening or making something
expected me to do grownup stuff properly & was proud of the results (eg painted the garage door as an under 5)
let me use grownup tools & equpiment, not kiddy versions, though didn't ;let me damage myself
talked to me as a person even as a small kid
had no expectations of me as a girl only as a person
read me bedtime stories from birth
secretly made me sandwiches out of white bread and sliced fry's chocolate cream
told me all sorts of stuff about being a kid in Acton in the 20s & 30s

endless stuff. just a kind guy.

PeppermintPasty Thu 12-May-11 22:27:03

are we sisters catinthehat!!wink

catinthehat2 Thu 12-May-11 22:30:20

also, made sure I had my own personal tin of washers and greasy mechanical bits & pieces in the garage which were for my use only and always accessible by me. though he only had (survivng) brothers he just wanted his daughter to enjoy the same things he & they liked to muck about with, and it never occurred to him that girls had to have anything different.

davidtennantsmistress Thu 12-May-11 22:32:41

'a good or great relationship with your dad should feel safe and should make you feel like you can take on the world because you are fab and your dad has told you so. a good dad really listens to you, reads to you, reads your teenage poetry, tells you not to worry about love and that it can sometimes make you feel like a ship being tossed about in stormy waters, going this way then that, but that eventually things will be calmer.'

totally agree.

catinthehat2 Thu 12-May-11 22:34:02

possibly not, as my dad is insanely practical & I LOL at reading him my teenage poetry! close cousins I should think grin

My dad is fabulous and means the world to me. I know that no matter what, he would aways be there for me and even if he didn't like a desicion I made, he will always support me in whatever I do. He is always the one I go to when I am upset.21 1b

My parents divorced when I was 12 and I had to fight like hell to be allowed to live with him, even got my own legal rep in the end, and luckily it worked. In the end we all (me and 2 brothers) stayed with my dad and while it wasn't perfect, it was a mainly happy, stable family life and non of us would change it.

perfumedlife Thu 12-May-11 23:06:33

My Dad is my absolute here, my benchmark for what I expect from men (hence taking a long time to settle down) He was run over by a train as a little boy and lost half his foot, spent a year in hospital with other complications and so missed so much school. Never let it stop him, he worked so hard all his life and built a successful business he still runs. He is fair, honest, kind, patient, funny, loves life, golf, wine, chocolate but his family most of all.

I would fight lions for him, as he would for all his children. I too dread the day he is no longer here.

It makes me sad when people say children don't need fathers, they survive without them of course, and no one needs bad fathers, but a good dad enriches a childs life immeasurably.

pinkstarlight Thu 12-May-11 23:47:42

my dad died a few years ago now but he was a brilliant dad, he was the one person who i could always count on to tell me the truth not always what i wanted to hear lol but he was always right.he was always there for me even as an adult he never stopped being a parent and always had the ability to make me feel special,fussed over and loved.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 13-May-11 00:08:51

Wonderful post PeppermintPasty.

My dad is an amazing man, ready to be an uttter buffoon one minute, and then sit down and talk through your serious problems the next. He has the capacity to be so gentle that scared and sick animals/children inherently trust him (really), which makes him a great father. As a child I knew that he would comb my hair without snagging it (he became chief hairdresser in our house) and be on splinter-removal & grazed knee duty - someone to go to when upset or afraid or feeling like you've embarrassed yourself and it's the end of the world. He plays the guitar and used to make up songs for my brother and I, and tell the best stories. In a practical sense he used to help us with schoolwork, take us to and from school, take us out for long walks to tire us out, bath us and put us to bed. He and I would do the supermarket shop every week, and like catinthehat2's dad would have me mixing cement/painting cupboards/sanding wood from the minute I was able to. When I was a teenager he would pick me up from the pub drunk late at night and never said a word about it, and he stuck up for me against my mum when I wanted to be allowed to stay over at my boyfriend's house or some other measure of independence. When I got into university to study the subject he loved he couldn't have been any prouder - he never got the chance to go and I know he is so happy that I did, and it's as if he shares in all the things I achieve.

A good dad, to me, is a man who loves his children above everything and for all time, for themselves rather than as an adjunct to the relationship with their mother. He should want to spend time with them, to learn about the people they are, to involve them in what he does and teach them the things he knows.

howdoo Fri 13-May-11 00:37:49

He's, above everything else, a very nice, kind man. I don't remember him specifically complimenting me, but was always aware that he thinks I'm great. He's very patient, very funny and always calms things down. I have always known that he loves me. In my family, my mum can be critical and difficult, although she's mellowed a lot, but my father cancelled her influence out just because I knew he loved me. He can be a bit grumpy nowadays because he's getting on, but he's still wonderful!

caramelwaffle Fri 13-May-11 10:24:03

I was a total Daddys Girl. My father came from a culture where Education, Education, Education was the mantra and indulged my every educational whim. My mother taught me to read very early and encouraged learning through adventure.

chubsasaurus Fri 13-May-11 10:26:57

My Dad's my best friend, he is unconditionally supportive, gets more excited than me at every success and retains faith in me when I think I'm a failure. I love him more than anyone and I ask him for advice on everything no matter how strange (aside sex, that would be hideous). He brought me up on my own when my DM died from cancer when I was 7 and I am an only child so we have a particularly close relationship. He never moved on from her, partly because she was amazing and noone compares but also because it would have been hard for me when I was young. I couldn't ask for more in a Father and tonight he is coming up to London so I can take him and my DP for dinner.

CharleneysWishWellingtons Fri 13-May-11 13:24:56

I wanted to post because i truely believe my Dad saved my life.

My "mother" (to put it lightly) never wanted me or my brother. My dad fought for custody of us. We lived with her for a year after they split i believe. I was 3 when she "effed" off, my brother was 2.

My dad brought us up on his own until i was 6, he went out to work and gave us whatever he could. Even though some of his clothing choices for me were a bit.. dodgy grin. I remember when i was 3 and he taught me to write my name on the back of an envelope with a booky ben.. smile!
Some of my best memories from when i was young was when me, my Dad and my younger Brother would sit and watch films for hours, or just spending evenings play fighting with my Dad smile.
My Dad, has, and always will be my Hero. I couldn't even put into words how much i love that man. If he had left us with her, i honestly don't know where i would be today.

Then when i was 6, he met my Angel smile, my step Mum. I could not have asked for a better Mum growing up, she is still to this day my best friend smile.
And i owe it all to my Dad for taking care of us and making sure we were safe and then choosing the most amazing wife and mum i could have ever dreamed of!

BertieBotts Fri 13-May-11 13:37:07

These are lovely stories smile Thanks for sharing smile

CharleneysWishWellingtons Fri 13-May-11 13:39:28

That was meant to say "booky PEN"*

madonnawhore Fri 13-May-11 13:43:37

I love my dad to pieces. He's so kind and funny and clever. He's so talented at playing the guitar and he can speak a few languages too. He adores all animals, even creepy crawlies, and has a David Attenborough-esque fascination with them. I remember on holidays as a child being told to come and examine some bizarre looking bug or beetle.

His marriage to my mum was very difficult because she was an acoholic car crash nightmare. We supported each other (and my bro, too - I could start a whole other thread about how amazing he is) and are incredibly close because of that.

I look up to him and respect him. His word is final; if he doesn't like someone or something, then I will X person or thing out of my life because I trust my dad's judgement completely.

Having said that, his fashion sense leaves a lot to be desired, as do his interior decorating skills. He's generally a bit disorganised and gets distracted from essential tasks (like fixing the roof or something) very easily (usually by guitars smile), so I do have to boss him around and in all these areas he is always happy to defer to me. I do enjoy telling him what to do sometimes grin

He is the best template for a partner I could have hoped for and because of him I am now with my DP, who reminds me so much of all my father's amazing qualities.

I cannot bear to imagine a life without him in it tbh.

julienoshoes Fri 13-May-11 13:44:55

My dad died 16 years ago, and oh I miss him still.
I now know-because of my children's problems, he was probably severely dyslexic, he had such difficulties with spelling and exams, and school for him was an absolute nightmare, but somehow he was worldly wise and full of knowledge-you would definately want him as a 'phone a friend'
I know too now from talking to them, how my cousins envied me, all of them adored 'Uncle Bob' my darling dad. My friends all liked him too. He had time and energy to invest in everybody.
Always had time and energy to play when we were young, was supportive and helpful through out my teens. Always there. I know now that there were money difficulties when I was young, but I can't remember any unhappy times as a child. He and my mother gave us a magical childhood.
Somehow he managed to instill self discipline and desire to succeed in me, without shouting or any other negative messages. Everything was based on focussing on the positive.
He is the rock that my confidence and my self belief is built on. His is the life philosophy that my successful family life and relationship with my children is based upon.
He always told me that there wouldn't be much money when they were gone, apart from the house to share with my sister. But what they gave us was beyond price. Giving a child unconditional love as he did, is literally priceless.

He was a wonderful grandfather, adored by his grandchildren, who like me will think of him always with great gratitude and love.

Bobby Coles, I miss you so.

26minutes Fri 13-May-11 13:45:00

"would move heaven and earth for his kids if there was a crisis". So true.

My dad is many things and we have a very close relationship, there were time in my teens when we didn't speak, but I soon grew out of it. He's always been there when needed and when I didn't think he was needed. I always knew he didn't like my ex but he never once told me I was doing the wrong thing (I sort of knew but wouldn't admit it), but he was there to pick up the pieces when it ended very badly.

I can understand where many of the other posters are coming from as I feel the same and what I would say would just be repeating what others have already said, but one incident will always stand out that happened a few years ago:

I was going through a really bad spell, drinking a lot, sleeping around, feeling suicidal (although I never told anyone). My boys were the only thing stopping me driving full pelt into a motorway bridge then one night I was at my absolute lowest I was curled up on the sofa with alcohol crying wishing I didn't have children or parents so that I could just get the kitchen knife and cut myself open when my dad phoned. This was about 9pm so I thought something must be wrong as due to his working hours he is in bed at 7pm. I answered and he wanted to know that I was ok as he had a feeling something was wrong. I told him all was fine, I'd speak to him later. He seemed to accept that and we hung up. About 2 minutes later the phone rang again, it was my dad he said "Now do you want to convince me you really are ok as I'm just getting dressed and coming over". I just broken down, he did the 40 minute drive in about half that time. I just collapsed into his arms when he arrived and then we sat on the settee for about half an hour with me sobbing like a little girl. My mum didn't get it all, she just sat there looking bemused. God knows how my dad knew but I'll remember it forever and be so grateful to him for saving me from myself.

madonnawhore Fri 13-May-11 13:48:45

Also, he was the most patient patient when I was little and wanted to play nurses. He knew how to fold a piece of paper so it looked exactly like one of those old fashioned nurse's hats. There are numerous old photos of a 3 year old me pinning him to the floor and shoving a toy thermometer in his gob while he lies there with this long suffering look on his face!

And he read the best bedtime stories too. He used to do different voices for each character and sometimes would get up and pace around my bedroom acting out the scenes as he read.

CharleneysWishWellingtons Fri 13-May-11 13:50:00

26minutes.. that brought a tear to my eye. Amazing. smile

madonnawhore Fri 13-May-11 13:51:31

Awww 26minutes your story made me well up. Dads are fucking awesome.

madonnawhore Fri 13-May-11 13:58:09

One last thing and then I'll shut up, promise grin

He has always assumed that I will be successful at whatever I do, even when I've doubted my own abilities. He's never ever told me I couldn't do anything and his unerring belief in me has meant I've achieved many things in my life that I'm very proud of.

While I'm still secretly amazed by the simple fact that I remember to buy loo roll and can change a fuse if I need to; I genuinely think he thinks I could rule the world if I put my mind to it.

PeppermintPasty Fri 13-May-11 15:17:59

oh blimey, i'm a bit weepy. shouldn't have come back on here while at work!

FreudianSlipper Fri 13-May-11 16:10:20

can i mention my granddad

he and my nan raised me from when i was 4. he did everything a dad would and for the first few years stayed at home while my nanny was still working. he was in his 70's and used to walk me to and from school everyday, he would cook for my friends when they came round (no one makes better home made chips) and take us to the park or up to see the changing if the guards.

he was a wonderful man (could be very grumpy at times), our whole family fell apart and he held us all together. he died 15 years ago i still miss him and never felt such pain when he died but very thankful he was my granddad.

my dad well i love him but never had any contact with him growing up, now we get on well but he is not really my father my granddad was and always will be

bluepaws Fri 13-May-11 16:35:59

my dad was lovely

my mum used to say he would get us the top brick off the chimney if we asked for it

he never judged us when we cocked up, never once raised his voice, let alone his hand to us and he worked bloody hard to give us nice things. The best dad.

oxocube Fri 13-May-11 17:22:01

What a lovely thread. I am also blessed with an amazing dad, who has always loved me unconditionally, especially when I least deserved it.

My childhood is full of happy memories smile

StudiousSal Fri 13-May-11 19:13:20

There's not a day goes past when I don't miss him, he's the only man I could trust, one that never hurt me although I know there were times when I was younger, that I hurt him.

When I got married, he told me also I didn't have to go through with it.......wished I had listened!

When I moved away to live, he used to send me letters, with £50 in and a note saying, this is for you and you only, he knew my ExH would have taken it given half the chance.

The day I phoned him and said dad I want to come home, he shut up the shop, and drove 6 hours to pick me and DS1 up, and when my mum said where have you been? He said Sal needed me, but all she needs now is some sleep, questions can come later, he always said he knew I would come home, and he couldn't wait as he never liked my ExH, he never judged me or my brothers.

He taught me to fly fish, and my son who he adored, he was his father figure too, DS1 misses him every day.

I am so proud that he was my dad, and I'm glad that I was with him till the end.

Bellola Fri 13-May-11 19:31:04

my dad is the best man I have ever met.

He came and got me and DS in the middle of the night 6 years ago when I couldn't take anymore from violent xp and gave up his bed for 4 months while I got sorted.

He is DS's main role model now and if he turns out half as good as dad I'll be so proud.

He does so much for all his family that there's no way we'd ever be able to repay him.

I love you dad xx

26minutes Fri 13-May-11 19:46:05

This thread is making me laugh, smile & cry in equal measures.

davidtennantsmistress Fri 13-May-11 20:12:17

can I just add, dad's just put up 2 wardrobes at 4.30 after a day at work. he didn't have to as was in no rush but he was. love my daddy. smile

Bink Fri 13-May-11 20:37:53

I have a very dear Pa too, who is heading for his 85th birthday next month.

Things that make him so good:

- when I was small & demanding, & it was bedtime, I would say 'tell me a story' and he would offer to read me one, and I would say 'NO! out of your head!' and he would do it. What patience! What effort! - I couldn't do that for my children

- when I was bigger & got myself in muddles over things (boys, exams, whatever) I would find myself just spilling everything to him, and he would simply say 'yes, I can see why you feel like that' (psychologists call it "validating") until I got myself together to see what was going on. Then he would tell me how wise I was for resolving it all

- when I was a teenager he once made a remark that made it sound as if he might be homophobic. I told him off furiously, and he listened, and if he had been prejudiced before I think he totally changed his ways. (A parallel - he was a judge (before he retired) and I remember him telling us about a case on appeal - all appeal judges read each other's judgments before they're delivered, and he'd been reading another's, and he said "I've just been reading X's judgment, and, you know, he's completely convinced me". Always always someone to listen, weigh up, and with no sort of agenda or pride about someone else being right. Moral compass, is the phrase, I think.)

On the other hand, I think sometimes living with such a beloved person is not so easy for my Mum, as people do rather automatically take his side.

BertieBotts Fri 13-May-11 21:54:38

Me too 26minutes smile

BertieBotts Fri 13-May-11 21:55:46

Sorry I'm not saying much.. I don't really know what to say, what you are all describing sounds so wonderful smile

My dad worked long hours, and often had to travel for work, but the main thing that I remember, was that when he was there, he was really there. I.e. he played with us, read to us (doing all the voices) and lots of time just spent hanging out in the garden or on his allotment.

When I was a teenager I sobbed on his shoulder about my lovelife and he never said 'I told you so'.

He's a pretty good grandad too these days smile

perfumedlife Fri 13-May-11 22:01:55

26minutes, what a lovely, lovely dad, thank god you have him smile

To the Dads wine

perfumedlife Fri 13-May-11 22:05:45

BertieBotts do you want to talk about it? x

mamaduckbone Fri 13-May-11 22:08:10

My dad was the calmest, kindest, loveliest man. I was his little girl and he'd do anything for me. He was never well off, but was more content with his lot than anyone I know. My ds1 adored him. I always felt that he was proud of me.

cathers Sat 14-May-11 06:01:00

My dad is my rock. He is the calmest, most tolerant person know. He is insanely practical, can do and will do anything, from taking apart, re wiring and re assembling my children's toy electric trains when they break, to laying a patio. Nothing is too much for dad!

He always seems to have have so much time to give, he will take ds's to the park more times than i could count just so I can have an hour to myself and would change their nappies when small. We would mess around for hours when I was growing up in his shed building things out of odds bits of wood and things he saved.

He is the sort of man i would love my ds's to be. I love him dearly.

BertieBotts Sat 14-May-11 10:16:44

Perfumed, I did, but then I read all the responses and I felt it might sort of cheapen the thread. There's not much to say really - my dad isn't that bad, he's not abusive or anything like that, I just don't really know him and I don't feel like he knows me at all, and I gave up trying to make him proud some time ago. Pretty much feels like me and my sister were the "failed first attempt" from his first marriage. I never had a stepdad, so no example there either. My grandad (mum's mum) is very critical and negative about everything. My uncle was abusive to his children, which we saw, but nobody ever did anything about it, so as a child it was almost normalised. And then XP (DS' dad) was just uninterested and still is really.

I have a DP now and while any notion of living together or him being a stepdad to DS are a long way off, he's already so different with him than XP was and it's really strange for me.

maristella Sat 14-May-11 16:32:23

I love this thread smile

My Dad is ace smile
We are both very strong willed, outspoken and a bit fiery, so we have clashed at times and have the power to ignite fury towards each other, which hurts like fuck. We are different in that I can be very impulsive and erratic, and he is the one who brings me back down to earth every time.

When I was small he was my protector, my source of answers to a thousand questions, my climbing frame, my own personal comedian, my story teller, my link to our family history and my absolute number 1 fan.

Dad did buy me toys when he went away but he also bought me tools and showed me how to use them. I was so hacked off to be given a screwdriver, and to be made to wire plugs etc but now I'm better at diy than he is wink

My parents marriage was so utterly miserable, to the point where I was willingly placed into care as a teen. He was so hurt by this sad
When I went off the rails I put him through so much; I was fucked up and awful. He remained supportive of me, but insisted on being treated like a human being. Now that I am, and have been for some time, back on track I too insist on being treated with respect; Dad's reasonable expectations of others has been so inspiring.

Now he is my rock. We speak on the phone all the time, and when things go wrong or right, or I have questions or ideas, I call him first. He believes in me, he respects me, he understands me.

I'm a single parent to DS, whise father will not see him angry yet DS has such a fantastic male role model in my Dad. DS spends so much time with him in holidays so that I can work. Dad has always looked after him so that I could go out, because he saw that I sometimes struggled as a very young single parent, and just needed to go out to play myself.

We have recently lost a few people in Dad's generation (relatives and family friends) and I am scared witless of losing him. Even typing this has turned me cold, and made my heart hurt.

I love and need my Dad

maristella Sat 14-May-11 16:34:02

<wipes away tears so as not to alarm DS>

My Dad is amazing.

He was away a lot when we were growing up on business but he really made up for it when we saw him, always out playing in the garden, off on bike rides, trips to the park/beach etc.

The money from him working away meant we went on holiday to the North of France each year with my cousins and had quality time with him then too.

He has always been quite reserved, didn't say much but this improved as we got older (he has always been surrounded by women so never got a word in edgeways)

He was so proud of me and my sister when we got our exam results and went off to uni, I miss those long car drives up to Leicester because it was then that we really opened up to each other and I learnt so much about him. Nothing was too trivial or unimportant for him to take an interest in with us and even now he is clear he cares about us even though we are grown up and have left home.

He is a fantastic Grandfather to DD and I love watching them together.

Ok am going to have to stop now as I am getting all teary!

YoniBottsBumgina Wed 15-May-13 23:17:35

I was thinking about this thread tonight and when I found it, I thought it could do with a bump smile thanks to all the great dads out there. I'm getting married next year and re-reading this thread has made me realise that having a supportive dad is a bit like having a supportive husband, except that he's always been there and he always will. Now I understand why people get "given away" at weddings blush You are all very blessed.

Noregrets78 Wed 15-May-13 23:53:58

I love my Dad to bits. He has a sense of humour and always loved to have fun. I can remember him stroking my head when I couldn't sleep, letting me sob on his shoulder, or giving me harsh truths when I needed to hear them. Most of all he just seemed to take so much interest in so many different things, and try to pass that on to me. To this day he seems to know a lot about all sorts of things, and has a really enquiring mind. He taught me that the way you think about things is even more important than knowing facts. I didn't appreciate him when I was a teenager, but he knew I'd pull through eventually. I should show him this I bet he doesn't realise!

ChasingStaplers Thu 16-May-13 00:15:33

My dad was fantastic.
Very modern minded - completely equal relationship with my mum, who he adored, did his share around the house and did a job he didn't particularly love in order to put his family first - and always did. He never brought work home with him and constantly strived to further his career to give us all the things he never had but while we were in bed, so it never impacted on our time with him.
Was very loving and kind and respected me and my brother's views on things from an early age. He and my mum instilled confidence in me to be myself and not be led by others and as I became older I got over the embarrassment factor and became good friends with him (he used to make all my friends bacon sandwiches and tea the morning after we'd been out and piled back to my house smile )

He was a talented artist and fantastic at all things DIY (ah, how I could use his help now!) and had some wonderful quirks and eccentricities (bow ties, riding a bike and an obsession with the environment and recycling being a few examples).
He was hugely supportive of my mum and took a job that allowed him to support her to pursue a career dream that she had and she became very successful in her field.
Not a day goes by without me missing him. He would've been an amazing grandad and I know he would be proud of my DC (and enjoyed larking about with them). Unfortunately he was the glue that held our family together and losing him when I was 19 had a massive impact on all of us. My mum has never really got over his death and I've had some crappy, some abusive relationships since.
I'm coming out the other side now though and am starting to re find some of that strength he gave me and I hope that one day I'll meet a man who treats me the same way he treated my mum.
Love you dad xxx

ChasingStaplers Thu 16-May-13 00:22:08

Forgot to say that even when he was dying (cancer) he was still selfless and kept his sense of humour.
I messed up my a-level exams because of the stress and he wrote a letter to my chosen university explaining that he had terminal cancer and would they reconsider. They did (after checking out his story, no doubt) and I got onto the course I wanted. He would jokingly say 'you might as well get something good out of this situation' which might sound odd but it was how he was.

This thread is great. Making me tearful, but in a good way, so thanks smile

Lioninthesun Thu 16-May-13 00:34:53

I feel now that I never really knew my dad until I had DD.
When I was younger he used to be the naughty parent and mum would get an edited version of what I had eaten and done over my weekend with him. He tried to make it fun, and it was, but he wasn't really 'there' always reading the paper or letting me just go off outside. I guess he didn't really know what to do with me.
When I lost my mum he nearly made me disown him by telling me a lot of horrible things about her and my childhood that I didn't need to know, just days after she died. I hated him at that time.
5yrs on and with DD I can see him really trying. He still irritates me by not understanding basic food requirements DD cannot live by chocolate biscuit alone but he calls her by my first name and old memories seem to be coming back about how he went to the park with me after pre-school etc, which are giving me a lovely insight into a time I had blocked out. My parents divorced when I was 4 and it was literally never talked about. My childhood memories are very patchy and sadly only the bad seem to stick out. I love my dad now, and can see that he is human and normal, slightly quiet and carefree, which has come as a bit of a surprise.
Like you Bertie I feel the absence of him in my youth though, and without a DP/DH for DD can completely 'get' why you are asking. Interesting responses.

OhLori Thu 16-May-13 00:44:04

Just like 'wow' at this thread and the really special relationship dads sometimes have with their daughters; I didn't have that myself (this thread is not really about that though), but its still amazing to read about.

YoniBottsBumgina Thu 16-May-13 12:55:25

It is Lori, that's why I started it (old name) - to see what it was like, because i never had any of this with my dad either.

YoniBottsBumgina Thu 16-May-13 13:04:14

It is a bit of a mindfuck to realise though, that a figur/role like that exists in most families. A nice one smile but also makes me realise that there is in fact a gaping hole in mine. It makes sense to me too now I know the feeling of being loved and supported completely by a DP, why that would be so important from a young age and perhaps even why I made some of the relationship choices I did when I was younger. Mumsnet - better than therapy grin

Estherbelle Thu 16-May-13 13:16:35

I couldn't ask for a better dad than mine - he is the most loyal and trustworthy person I have ever known and he's never let me down. He and my mother have been married for over 40 years and not once have I ever seen him treat her with anything but the utmost respect.

He reached the top of the tree in his profession and his colleagues spoke o highly of his integrity, but he always made time to help me with school work and take on outings at weekends, no matter how busy his work schedule was. As I got into my late teens and started going clubbing, rather than me paying through the nose for a taxi and potentially getting in dangerous situations, he used to set his alarm for 2am and drive into the city centre to come and pick me up!!

He has always encouraged me to follow my dreams, as opposed to forcing his expectations on me. If it wasn't his financial help, I wouldn't have been able to leave university with zero debt or afford a deposit to buy a house. When my fiance walked out on me when I was halfway through studying for my Masters, my Dad stepped in and financially supported me so that I could complete my qualification.

Even though I'm 34 now he still goes way beyond the call of duty to help me out, without me even having to ask. Tomorrow, for instance, he's coming round to help me sort out my garden, because he's such a skilled gardener compared to me.

It's only as an adult that I've come to realise how lucky I am in comparison to some others. It does mean I've got incredibly high standards when it comes to men though!

oldwomaninashoe Thu 16-May-13 13:40:50

My Dad has been gone for over 20 years and not a day goes by that I don't miss him. My Mother was wonderful too but I felt especially close to my Dad.
When I left school I worked as a temp in his office and it gradually dawned on me how others held him in high regard and how much he was liked and respected by those around him.
My Dad always had high ambitions for me and I always felt that I had let him down as I lurched though life in a pretty aimless way for many years.
A couple of years after his death I was talking to someone who I had never met before who it transpired had known my Dad. She said to me that he had told her how proud he was of me and what a wonderful Mother I was to my boys.
I was very touched, yes i knew he loved me, by the fact he was always "there" for me, advice, help, whatever.
Gosh I miss my Dad!

LokiTheCynicalCat Thu 16-May-13 13:41:20

My dad is quite academic. He loved to encourage us learning. He read all the bedtime stories, he used to spend hours trying to teach us the alphabet chart, bits of French ("Je voudrais un glace citron, voilà cinq francs!") He came to our school plays, our debates, our pony club events, he learned how to drive a horse trailer and fasten a head collar and feed a pony, he taught us tennis and boules and swimming.

He was really into preserving family memories of us and for us as we grew up. He used to borrow a video camera from a rental store that operated next to his office 30 years ago and used to take loads of home videos when we were kids. He took lots of his father in law, my maternal grandad too - because he was elderly and frail even then and my dad wanted to preserve his history. Dad was the family photographer, there are packets and packets of photos in his study with the contents carefully penned on them.

He cried the day my sister (the last one, the home bird) left home to move away for her first job. He volunteers for airport drops and pickups for those of us who live abroad, even though I always hire a car.

When I'm home I can call into his office - hes self-employed - and he will stop whatever he is doing to have a chat.

I know I've listed things he did or does rather than feelings etc - but the great thing about my dad is that he was interested in spending time with us, both as little people and as grownups. Individually and together. He worked and still works hard, and long hours, but we got a lot of his attention when he was home.

PeppermintPasty Thu 16-May-13 13:54:31

How very, very odd Bertie. I was only thinking last night about a post I wrote on here some time ago about my Dad, and paint me pink the very thread pops up again!!

My Dad died in 2009 and I so miss him. When I went away to University years ago to get away from my Mother some 250 miles away, he used to say that he missed me so much, but then he would look out of the window and see the sun, and he would think about how it was shining on me wherever I was, and that made him feel better.

The old soft pudding. Miss you Dad xx

VanitasVanitatum Thu 16-May-13 14:12:56

I can't really put into words what my dad meant to me. I know that now he has gone (he died four years ago) no one will ever know me, understand me, or love me like he did. He was the best man I've ever known. I was so incredibly lucky to have him, and I hope to live up to his dreams for me.

MissRenataFlitworth Thu 16-May-13 14:13:23

My father is 91 now and housebound but still as bright as a button. He is not a verbally demonstrative person (Yorkshireman!) but has never let me down and now I help him as much as I can. We used to get oily together stripping his motorbike down when I was small in the 1950s and girls weren't supposed to do stuff like that. He gave me and my son a home when we had nowhere to go after my marriage collapsed and told me he was proud of the way I was coping with being a single parent.

I know I'm going to lose him sooner rather than later and when he dies it will leave a huge hole in my life but there are so many happy memories.

This is a beautiful thread. Makes a change from the narc/abusive threads (although they are invaluble in helping MNers and I often always read them).

My dad was 42 when I was born and he named me. Both Jewish names for some odd reason (Hes RC FGS!!) He tells me stories about pushing me around our hometown in my pram presenting me to anyone who was interested!! My Mum was never maternal. My Dad attended parents evening etc. I'm not saying my mum was a bad parent, just not maternal. She struggled TBH.

He took interest in my schoolwork, encouraged (and financed) my addiction to horses, took me to the Working Mens Club with him, he worked about 70 hours a week as a welder and never once complained even when he broke his ribs.

Sadly when I was about 13 my Dad began drinking very heavily and hiding bottles of sherry in cupboards etc. My mum was being very hard on him at the time, she was a very selfish woman at times. He sought solace in alcohol and continued to do so for th next 15 years or so.

Finally my parents split up and my Dad almost stopped drinking overnight. By now he'd retired due to heart conditions and vascular problems and to top it all off had to have his wrists fused due to osteoarthritis.

Anyway, they are best friends now, its so strange!!

He is wise, generous and sensible and I feel I can tell him anything. He never judges me. Theres been times Iv deserved to be judged but he says "Youre and adult, how can I shout and carry on at you? " and hes a loving grandad too.

Hes also adopted his friends teenage daughter as her father was an abusive drunk and all her grandparents are passed away. She sends him cards that say Granddad on and he adores her. Of course, my mum thinks this is weird. I dont. Its just an example of how much love and caring he has to give. I welcome her into our family. Shes had such a terrible home life. sad Shes a lovely girl. smile

He is obsessed with sunbathing and getting a tan. Hes known for being very dark skinned. He has a strange dress sense which includes camouflage trousers and desert boots. Hes 72 FGS!!

Hes great. And he still doesnt drink. smile

DeafLeopard Thu 16-May-13 16:09:38

My Dad is clever, kind, protective, supportive, generous, loving and oh too many other wonderful qualities to list.

He can also be a pita as he always knows best, but he is very sharp and analytical so always gets to the heart of a situation and wants to resolve it. So no pulling the wool over his eyes. However this made him very successful at work and having left school with no qualifications he educated himself and had a good career and worked really hard to provide for his family.

He has been and continues to be a rock in our lives. He is first to pitch in in a crisis and he loves his children and grand children unconditionally, and would do anything for us. He loves our company...for a short while and then he buggers off to do something / hands the phone to Mum for us to talk to her.

He had a very tough, deprived and violent childhood and hated his abusive father - he often says that if he though dsis and I felt about him the way he felt about his own father then he would have killed himself. He has a difficult relationship with his siblings but he values his family (Mum, me, dsis and the gcs) beyond anything.

angelos02 Thu 16-May-13 16:21:20

My dad is wonderful. We can talk for up to an hour on the phone about anything & everything. I know I'm lucky to have such a great relationship with him and he even says his friends envy the relationship we have. I have no idea how I will cope when he is no longer here. I am welling up just typing this.

My dad can be a difficult man at times but he's always been there for me.

When I got pregnant at 20 and my mother was sobbing and wailing he said 'a baby is always something to be happy about, you'll be fine. It's a girl btw, I know it.' (he was right on all counts)

He likes to wind me up but is always there when things are bad to help me out, be it financially or practically.

He was always my playmate and co-conspirator when I was little (only child) and is always proud of my achievements.

He visits every day off he has and chills out with me and the kids. He taught me how to use PCs, how to cook, how to paint, how yo fish and has taught me how to think logically, how to stand up for myself and how to present myself with assurance and professionalism to the world.

When I was attacked as a teen and the cops knocked on the door he slammed the door in their faces, threw on some clothes and was at my side in hospital before I even woke up.

I brought him to my favourite pubs when I was a teen and introduced him to all my goth friends and they loved him. He taught me how to drink, smoke and misbehave with style. grin

tumbletumble Thu 16-May-13 16:39:00

My Dad is the most wonderful man I know (apart from DH... maybe...!). He is gentle, kind and would do anything for me or my Mum or brother. He adores his grandchildren. Although he's an intelligent man, he is very modest and unassuming.

When I was a child he was an active parent, often taking me and my brother to the playground, reading to us etc. His entry in 'Who's Who' used to list 'playing with the children' as one of his interests!

My parents have been married for nearly 45 years and have one of the happiest marriages I know. I have a brilliant relationship with my mum too.

ChasingStaplers Thu 16-May-13 19:03:34

VanitasVanitatum you've put it into words beautifully and I feel exactly the same way about my dad.

my dad is amazing. he is a rock to me. he would do anything for anyone, is the most patient and laid back person i know. He supports me in everything and is the best grandad to my children in the world. I am truly blessed that my children have him as a role model amd will grow up knowing exactly what a man should be like smile

Salbertina Thu 16-May-13 19:45:07

This is heartwarming (though a little hmm-making for those of us more critical of our dads, wrongly or otherwise)

My dad has a huge heart most of which is directed towards my dm with whom he is still besotted after 40 years. He can be kind (to a point), warm and selfless. The flip-side to this is that he is very weak, not very worldly and can be rather a bore- he is oblivious to others' interests/thoughts /feelings aside from dm and cannot tune in in conversations. My dm comes before everything and everyone, always has, always will.

I adored and stood up for my (rather emasculated) father as a teen and feel he's rather come to hold it against me. He's been there at times but overall has been rather a weak masculine presence in my life, i wish i could respect him but i don't. Dh, despite his faults, represents a far more rounded, functional male role model.

cheeseandchive Fri 17-May-13 08:33:07

Blimey, some of these are making me sob good n' proper!

I'll add mine to the pile...my Dad is amazing. Ever since I was young my parents operated an (informal) 'open door' policy. I always knew I could bring anyone home with me and my parents would welcome them, chat to them, cook for them, let them stay as long as they wanted. I got my love of cooking from my Dad, who cooked about 99% of our meals growing up. He was (and is) amazing with my friends and, as the father of girls, absolutely loved it when my male friends came over. Often my guy friends would come over to see my dad rather than me, and they'd end up playing xBox or going to the pub to play pool while I went to bed!

He's amazing with people and is fascinated by people and the way things work. When we go to a restaurant, he'll make jokes with the waiting staff, when we walk down the street he'll chat away to stall owners and shop-keepers about how their businesses work. DH calls him "the most brilliant child I've ever met" because he has a brilliant mind but the most childlike sense of humour. He raised us to be interested in everything; trying different foods when we were kids, taking me to a taxidermist to stuff an animal when I was about 11! Being self-employed, he has always been busy at work for as long as I can remember, but I remember as a kid he told me that me, my mum and my sisters were always allowed to interrupt him in meetings whenever we needed him. There was something so special about knowing he would leave an important meeting when we needed him, no matter what it was for.

Now that I'm married, he is an amazing father-in-law and still very much my dad. DH absolutely adores him and they're similar in loads of ways (though also not in some!) and my dad is still incredibly (ridiculously) generous. He still pops money into my account randomly, he put £101.11 in there the other day and when I called to ask him what for (and why the random amount) he giggled and said "just because I could, and just because I liked the number"

Fab thread, thanks for reminding me how fab my dad is!

SilverOldie Fri 17-May-13 15:16:10

My Dad was the sweetest, kindest, funniest man I have ever known. He died over 30 years ago but I still think of him every day.

Lweji Fri 17-May-13 16:16:06

Right, my dad can be very annoying.
He stresses a lot. He doesn't really share his feelings and rarely talks to us on the phone.
He hardly ever cooks or cleans (they have always had a cleaner).

He'd wake up early, often at 5 to make sure we woke up for the 6am ferry for us to go to Uni, have our breakfast ready and take us by car. He'd drive quite a few of our friends to their homes on our way back.

He took us earlier on holiday, just him and us two girls, and our mum would only join us later.

He taught me to swim, play football, and the rules,

He loves his grandchildren and was even the favourite person for my eldest nephew.

He will always do what he can for his children and grandchildren, as well as my mum.
And gets annoyed if any of us tries to lift the table (his job).
He goes shopping at the local market every day.

Also very generous and kind.

Lweji Fri 17-May-13 16:17:43

I forgot to say he's also one of the most upstanding people I know.

MrsApplepants Fri 17-May-13 16:22:12

I adore my Dad, he's everything a man should be. Hard working, honest, trustworthy, generous to a fault and always puts his family first. Treats my mother like a princess yet as an equal and growing up I felt valued, loved and cherished. He's an interesting person and has an opinion on everything, has a huge gusto for life. Doesnt suffer fools gladly though!

I feel it is totally down to him (and my mother) that I have had such a good role model of men and of marriage to follow. I am v v lucky.

Lweji Fri 17-May-13 16:22:31

I also had a great relationship with my grandad, who used to takes us to the playground and taught me about plants and animals, that he grew and kept, respectively.
He was also very generous and kind, and told us stories about when he was younger and built us a swing.
He also used to go shopping for the home every day.

Sadly, he died in my mid 20s. Still miss him sometimes.

schooldidi Fri 17-May-13 16:32:20

My dad is brilliant. He was a teacher for years but then got ill when i was 3 and had to retire (at 30!! shock). So he was a SAHD while my mum went back to ft work, in an age when he was the only SAHD anybody had ever met, and my mum was frowned upon for working ft. Because he was at home he did all the day to day care of us, he cooked, he helped with homework, he generally made us feel safe and loved.

When we were teenagers he then took on the care of his elderly relatives (his mum and 2 aunts), and eventually dgm came to live with us. He turned our whole lives upside down by bringing her into our home, but we barely even noticed it because him and my mum just kept it all so matter of fact and our lives continued as normal (apart from occassional grandma-sitting duties to let them have a rare night out).

I always felt I could tell either of my parents anything at all. They thought I was pg as a teen (I wasn't, I have pcos and that explained the lack of periods) and my first response was "but I would have told you", I never felt that they would judge me harshly in any way for anything I ever did. I fully expected love and support whenever I needed it, and without fail they both provided it. When I did fall pg at 19, having just split up with my boyfriend, they invited me to move back home, and my dad provided free childcare for 6 years. Even now, we live over an hour away from each other and I can still call him up on a morning and he would be there asap, no questions asked (other than "are you ok?").

EuroShaggleton Fri 17-May-13 16:40:48

I don't have the kind of relationship where I would ever talk to my dad about any of the emotional stuff, but he has been wonderful nonetheless. He let me tag along if he was working in the evening or doing DIY at the weekends. I loved being a daddy's girl. He's always there, level headed and being the rock I know I can lean on.

He doesn't hug or tell me he loves me, but I absolutely know it. And I know he's do anything for me. Most recently, he's just built three cupboards and installed a burglar alarm. smile

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