I am in a complete state and just don't know what to do. I have been so bloody stupid and possibly lost the only good thing that I had.
I am trying to make sense of why I acted the way I did but am not sure if I am just making excuses for my pathetic behaviour?
Every relationship I have had I have been so unreasonable and hard work that I eventually drive them away and it takes that to realise just how much I really did/do love them.
I met and married my now ExH through work and he needed a visa to come to the UK which if I am honest was the main reason I agreed to marriage. Due to a nagging doubt (not helped by 'friends' comments) about him only marrying me for the sodding visa I have acted appallingly. I told him to leave shortly after arriving here and instigated an Annulment which was granted. We then reconciled but I found out that he had begun a relationship shortly after he had moved out (3 days to be exact!) which only cast more doubts in my mind of his real motive.
We stayed together for the next 2 years but I was a complete bitch. I told him a fortnight ago to just go as I couldnt cope with what had happened in the past but now realise that is not what I want.
We have met and spoken but this time he says he has made his mind up and doesnt want to try again. Should I try and persuade him, explain how I feel, please someone tell me what to do as I am in despair. Have been sitting here for 3 hours just trying to write this. I just can't stop crying.....
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What can I do?
15 replies
whatamessneedhelp · 03/04/2011 07:58
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