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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Facebook Help please!! BF with a woman (I think)

16 replies

braceet · 16/03/2011 16:12

HI,
I was browsing around FB and clicked on my boyfriend?s page ? as I don?t have a FB account, I can?t go in, and up until now I have never really been interested in his FB.
I saw a photo of a ?friend ? of his on his first public page and it was of a woman and she seemed to be kissing HIM!! I cannot be sure it is him, but it really could be. It was difficult to make out his face properly but it sure did look like him.
I felt sick, but I really have to know more, and so I thought I would sign up to FB under an anonymous name and see if I can go into her or his FB a bit deeper. I know nothing about FB, so can I just go in under a false name and will they know someone has been looking; do you get alerts when someone you don?t know has gone in?
My main worry is that they will know I have been looking. Apart from the BIGGER worry that he is seeing this other woman.
Advice please!! 

OP posts:

Report

Seeline · 16/03/2011 16:15

Most people have their profiles set up so that only their friends can see them. To be a friend you have to be accepted by that person. You probably wouldn't gain much from snooping. Don't forget the photo could be quite an old one...

crumbletastic · 16/03/2011 16:17

Also, if the profiles are public you can snoop as much as you want, there is no way they willn know who has looked at their page whether you do it with a falso name or not

lint · 16/03/2011 16:18

Was his page open - how did you access it without signing in?
If you logged in using his password he might know because his account has been activated. The new privacy settings they brought in earlier this year means if you ask they will inform you if someone accesses your account - not many people have elected to do this though.
If the page was open without you logging in they won't know.

jaffacake79 · 16/03/2011 16:18

Erm, why don't you just ask?

braceet · 16/03/2011 16:19

It was a full on snog and it must be recent (if it was him) because of the beard and length of hair. Around last summer time.
Really , do most people have these settngs on ? damn!

OP posts:

Wormshuffler · 16/03/2011 16:20

Just join and become his friend???

braceet · 16/03/2011 16:23

If you dont have an account and just type in someones name plus Facebook into google - the first page pops up with a lot of photos on it. This is open to all, even me with no account.
Thanks for your replies, if I knew for sure that it was him, I woud definately ask him. I am very timid I suppose and hate confrontation. But if it is him, I would do something, shy or not.

OP posts:

waterrat · 16/03/2011 16:27

tell him that you opened his facebook by mistake because he left himself logged in, that you saw the picture and could he explain - say your sorry if it was nothing its just driving you a little crazy.

yes, he may think your mad if its nothing, but then youwill know!

seriously - forget the subterfuge.just ask him.

braceet · 16/03/2011 16:30

Oh just to add - we don't live together. I've never seen him on FB, he has never logged on when I'm with him.I would rather know for sure if it was him, then ask to be honest.

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 16/03/2011 16:31

"If you dont have an account and just type in someones name plus Facebook into google - the first page pops up with a lot of photos on it" only f they haven't restricted it to friedns only. Try that with my naem and facebook and it just tells you that you don;t have access because you aren;t a friend.

So he may not have friends only security activated (plonker)

waterrat · 16/03/2011 16:36

how do you know it was his page then?

waterrat · 16/03/2011 16:37

ah okay, I see what happened - how long have you been with him? If you were with him last summer, surely you have been together long enough to ask him...

exhausted2011 · 16/03/2011 16:40

Sometimes people will have tagged the photo.
If you hover over the photo(him specifically) does a name come up.
E.g, she might have taken the photo, put it on her page, then tagged him (ie. put his name on it) so he is notified of it.
Similarly, he could have put it up there and put his name on it

braceet · 16/03/2011 16:47

HI,
No, it has her photo with a lot of others under his main page. Then it has the names under each photo. Also if you hover your mouse over the photo the name pops up.
Then if you click on the photo you can open the first page of that persons and so on.

OP posts:

braceet · 16/03/2011 20:13

exhausted, see what you mean...no, only her name. His public page has a cartoon face for him.

OP posts:

manticlimactic · 16/03/2011 23:27

How long have you been with him?

I have a pic of me and a fella that shows on my fb but it was a picture from 3 years ago.

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