This is a tricky one for me. I have always know I was adopted and through most of my life I thought I was pretty unaffected by it. In more recent years it has become obvious that it has been something that has shaped who I am.
My mum went on to have biological children after adopting me and I believe she treated them very differently to me and to some extent I now believe that, certainly as babies, she loved them more/differently to me.
Mum and I have just been through a rough patch which coincided with my wedding, which she pretty much ruined for me. I am trying to get through this but am finding it very difficult to be with her at the moment and whenever I see her I just feel such sadness at the thought of my childhood and also my wedding day. I am also deeply saddened that our relationship is suffering.
Tricky enough already. Here's the extra spanner. I have been trying to trace my birth mother on and off for a while. Things got more official a few months ago and I have just found out that a blood relative has successfully been traced and my social worker will be sending her a first contact letter.
How do I tell my mum. Do I tell her before contact has been made? It may turn out to be a dead end. DH suggested waiting til after contact but I think my mum would be even more hurt by this......
Don't know what to do. Feel a bit sick!
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How/when do I tell my mum?
TeacupTempest · 09/03/2011 12:38
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