Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

How would you feel?

13 replies

jumpforjoy · 04/03/2011 18:44

For reasons too long to mention in this thread my bf has today moved into a new flat 1 hour's drive away from me.

The one of the main reasons for this move is so that he is in the same town as his children and it makes it alot easier for them to continue with their sports commitments when it is his weekend with them. (He has them every other weekend)

On my side I have one weekend off per month when my DD goes to her dads. And that is today, she went @ 5pm and will be back Sunday. My DS stays here because he has to work Saturdays, so Saturday is really my only time without any DC.

Anyway, the real reason for the post.... As I said my bf moved into his flat today and has been waiting all day for a plumber to fix the heating!

At 6pm he found out that the plumber won't call until tomorrow morning around 8am. I asked him if he would be coming to see me tonight or staying in his new flat, and his response was "Can't be arsed to drive there n back, curry & cold flat for me."

I do feel sorry for his wasted day, but am fuming that this has happened on my one weekend alone.

If he could have given me some notice at least i could have arranged to meet some friends, now I've opened to get pissed and blot out the pain!

I am really pissed off with him, please tell me if IAMBU

OP posts:

Report

jumpforjoy · 04/03/2011 18:54

Oh and just to make matters worse.... Last night bf was staying in a hotel because he was away with work and sent me a txt @ bedtime saying " I don't want to sleep without you x"

Yet today.... can't be arsed!!!!

I want to cry and kick him to boot.... WWYD?

OP posts:

Report

JuJusDad · 04/03/2011 18:58

I'd say he's pissed off too at waiting all day and then finding out it's been a total waste, but knows he has to be there in case the plumber really does turn up at 8am.

He probably doesn't realize that he's kinda taking it out on you, he's just as upset as you are, I'm sure.

Take it there's no way you could or would go to him?

Maybe you could try and tempt him to yours with promises of a warm house and being made to get up early enough to get back for the plumber?

Report

HorseWhisperer · 04/03/2011 19:01

He found out at 6pm that the plumber wont come until tomorrow, so he could not have given you notice.

If he came to see you tonight he would have to get back by 8am tomorrow...

I would feel disappointed and but hardly pissed off with my DH.

Report

DerangedSibyl · 04/03/2011 19:02

Why can't you go and see him? get on a train!

Report

jumpforjoy · 04/03/2011 19:03

Thanks JuJusdad but he knows that would have been on offer, that is partly why i'm pissed off, the one opportunity we could run around the house naked and he can't be arsed.

I did offer to help today, but he wanted to do this all by himself and hasn't asked me over yet!

I had some wine now, so i suppose that hasn't helped.

OP posts:

Report

IngridBergmann · 04/03/2011 19:06

When you have been in a cold house all day waiting for someone who doesn't turn up, you do get really pissed off and he will be knackered and freezing too.

The thought of going OUT to get even colder and more tired will not be appealing.

I expect he just wants to get the heating sorted out, yes it is bad timing but you are probably not his priority atm - getting warm will be his priority.

Try to understand. I can empathise with him totally here!

There will be other times. The fact you have only got one opportunity a month to make love is sad but it's really to be expected that sometimes that opportunity will have to be sacrificed because of other factors.

Report

IngridBergmann · 04/03/2011 19:08

Hope that didn't sound harsh.

I just reckon he's not in the mood, now. It isn't your fault but he could hardly give you notice so it's not his either.

Chin up x

Report

jumpforjoy · 04/03/2011 19:13

No, IB... thanks for the wake up call. I did forget to look at his point of view and how pissed off he will be at waiting all day.

OP posts:

Report

IngridBergmann · 04/03/2011 19:16

Well I can see your POV too, I think we all can, but when he's not in the mood it's often better to let him retreat to his cave - if he made the effort to come over, you might have a good time but it would be difficult to get him going.

He can prob only concentrate on one thing at a time!

Hope you find a way to enjoy your evening.

Report

jumpforjoy · 04/03/2011 19:24

Thanks, it just feels frustrating that I always seem to get invited out when i have the kids and can't go because of child care problems, and yet tonight i'm free as a bird and home alone!

OP posts:

Report

IngridBergmann · 04/03/2011 19:30

I feel your pain! Same here

It's sods law isn't it.

Report

piratecat · 04/03/2011 19:32

since you ask yabu, he must be knackered.

Report

jumpforjoy · 04/03/2011 19:39

Yep IB sods law!

Any way he's happier now, cos he's gone out for a chinese and a few drinks with his mates!.

I promise i will see it from his point of view.