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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

The ''L'' Word - when did you say it to your DP/DH?

31 replies

shoutforlove · 08/02/2011 20:25

First timer here but been a lurker for a while!

I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 weeks now and its all been amazing! We met at a car park where he pretended not to have asked for change and I ended up giving him my 50p! We bumped into each other twice on the same day at the same shopping mall so he 'bought me coffee' to pay me back and we have been together since!

Last night, he said the 'L' word! but i didn't say it back. I am so so in love but I wanted to have my moment ifykwim.

Curious to know how soon you told your DP/DH

OP posts:

Report

lemonstartree · 08/02/2011 20:28

my now dp said it to me, as in " I am falling in love with you", very early on, within about 2 weeks, and before we had slept together. I felt the same, but would have been too afraid to say it that early...

It felt very, um, nice !

shoutforlove · 08/02/2011 20:31

I know what you mean lemon - I didn't want to be the first either!

He is taking me to Venice this weekend so I am excited and nervous as well! We haven't done the 'deed' yet but our the snoggmeter is on high LOL

OP posts:

memphis83 · 08/02/2011 20:32

after about 5 weeks i said it and he didnt say it back roll on 2 days of me asking friends if i think it will go anywhere as he didnt say it back he said it a week later, now he cant remember not saying it back feel stupid for over analising, love your how you met story btw!!!!

shoutforlove · 08/02/2011 20:36

Do you think guys get freaked out too when we don't say it back?

OP posts:

AnnieLobeseder · 08/02/2011 20:39

It took DH and I a year, though it was obvious we both felt it. It was quite nice, because we just said lots of others lovely things to each other instead.

I finally but the bullet on millennium eve, just in case the Y2K bug was real and we all died a terrible fiery death. I didn't want to die without telling him.

lilacisinlove · 08/02/2011 20:58

On our hotel balcony on new years eve in Dubai watching the fireworks on the Burj Khalifa. We had met one month earlier after two weeks of contact via a dating site. He said it to me first, but we already knew how each other felt. I sent him a YouTube link to 'Make You Feel My Love' a week earlier, saying to listen to it and he would know how I felt about him, but the first time I said it to him was in Dubai.

MooMooFarm · 08/02/2011 21:01

DH said it about six months after we met (we were very casual on and off until about a month before that) - and I waited about another week to say it back because I'm stubborn

But I just wanted to say I loved reading about how you met your BF - it sounds so romantic and put a smile on my face despite having a bit of a crap night tonight.

shoutforlove · 08/02/2011 21:04

ooh MooMoo

Things are moving really quickly but I am so comfortable with him. I haven't seen him today so I am but he texts and calls as promised and its really good

OP posts:

MooMooFarm · 08/02/2011 21:06

Thats all good then! Enjoy the early bit while it lasts, blink your eyes and you'll be shaving your legs while he's sitting on the loo

Mymblesson · 08/02/2011 21:08

Yes, lovely story shoutforlove.

I said it to my wife about 4 weeks into our relationship. We'd already been living together for around 3 of those weeks.

It was a bit of a weird and rather arse-about-face start as she was from another country. Anyway, it all worked out and here we are 15 years later

shoutforlove · 08/02/2011 21:09

LOL!

OP posts:

BrainThrustMastery · 08/02/2011 21:35

Wow...my ex OH didn't say it to me once in the 4 years we were together . The weird thing is that I think he did love me, but was just expecting some sort of out-of-this-world sensation. We parted on great terms (still best friends) but I finally realised he was never going to say it.

However, I met a guy at the airport (was stuck due to the snow) and we started chatting...I've only known him for a couple of months but I think we've really fallen for each other. I'm scared about just how much

nurseblade · 09/02/2011 00:52

Personally I'd be put off if a man said it too soon as I think it takes time for real feelings to develop. I'd also be suspicious of a man who said it before we slept together. But maybe I'm just a cynical cow.

LaWeaselMys · 09/02/2011 01:04

At about six months. Before we slept together. He didn't say it until after.

It was a bit of an odd moment for me. As I was always very detached in relationships and had been contemplating breaking up with him a few weeks before. Not because he wasn't a lovely guy but because I just wasn't that bothered about him but then we had a couple of those up all night on the phone days and I suddenly felt completely differently about him.

I slept with him even though he hadn't said it back because I wanted to and even if he didn't love me he clearly wasn't an arsehole from previous experience.

Worked out well in the end at least.

Great meeting story OP! Don't feel rushed to say anything you're not sure you mean. It means much more when it's genuine.

ginnny · 09/02/2011 10:07

DP said it by text first after only a few weeks - he sent me a picture of a heart with I love you on it. I just replied with a "X" as I wasn't sure and was a bit freaked out.
Then about a week later I called him from the train after a night out (a bit pissed merry!) and at the end of the call "love you" just kind of fell out of my mouth, it seemed so natural to say it and I'm glad I did it that way rather than being forced into it earlier iyswim.

MackerelOfFact · 09/02/2011 10:29

After about 4 weeks my DP said "that's why I love you" in response to something... then he realised what he said and backtracked furiously, making me think he hadn't meant it. Obviously I didn't reciprocate. When he did say it properly, probably another 4 weeks later, he told me that he'd meant it the first time but hadn't wanted to say it like that, but then got worried when I didn't say it back.

Confusing. But we say it every day now, just to be sure.

kepler10b · 09/02/2011 11:22

i can't actually remember! how bad is that? we say it often now though.

CilantroLarry · 09/02/2011 11:29

Took dh about 3 days. Can't remember when I said it. Months later.

nurseblade, some people (like me for example) don't sleep with people they aren't in love with so perhaps not so strange to say it before you have sex.

QueenStromba · 09/02/2011 11:33

We had a bit of a complicated start to our relationship. I wasn't sure what I wanted and he had stage fright so we'd already been through a lot by time we had sex for the first time so it kind of slipped out in the heat of the moment. I'd been wanting to say it for a couple of weeks and I kind of figured I could claim it was the orgasm talking if he didn't reciprocate - turned out he'd been wanting to say it for a while too but was worried about scaring me off.

megsophandemma · 09/02/2011 11:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TobyLerone · 09/02/2011 12:49

About a month, maybe 6 weeks. But we both knew we'd fallen very hard and very fast in love with each other, almost as soon as we met. We've been inseparable ever since.

spatchcock · 09/02/2011 15:51

About a month for me, I remember it so well - it was about 5am and we'd been up all night at a rather debauched house party at ours (we were housemates!). I said his name and he said 'yes'? I kept opening and closing my mouth like a fish, just couldn't get it out and then it all came out in a rush and he squeezed my hand and said it back.

Shout - enjoy this time, it's absolutely amazing and I'd love to do it all again!

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incyspider · 09/02/2011 18:08

It was about 2 weeks in for me. DP and I were chatting away and it kind of slipped out of his mouth and he blushed. I was shocked but said it back straight away sometimes you just know.

happiestblonde · 10/02/2011 12:58

A couple of weeks. Weird situation though as he was my university tutor and feelings had built up over a year before we finally got together. He said it first and I cried, he had flown me out to Italy for a night as our first real date as a couple.

longweight · 10/02/2011 22:47

I love your meeting story!

I'm in a new relationship, its been a couple of months now.

I have told him that I like him a lot and enjoy being with him. He has said that 'i love everything about you' and that he has 'feelings' for me and likes me more every time he sees me.

For me love has always been a slow burning thing that develops as I get to know someone and would expect it to take a long time to feel/say that. Right now I am happily infatuated and wouldn't want anything more.

With ex dh it was a good year before I said it although he said it from the first time we slept together and every time we had sex subsequently.

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