I am in total shock

[ShockedToTheBone]

I went with DP to a vicar today to talk about our relationship - for advice etc

we spent a ouple of hoiurs with him then came home.

We carried on talking and DP revealed something to me which makes sense and I am in so much shock I dont know what to do.

[AtYourCervix]

batting for the other side?

[cyb]

YABU

[shakey1500]

Are you going to tell us what it is?

[Changeisagoodthing]

He wants to join the priesthood?

[cyb]

Okay

YANBU

[HighHeidYin]

What are you being unreasonable about?

[hester]

Do you want to tell us?

[fedupofnamechanging]

Okay, I'll bite. What did he reveal?

[LadyGlencoraPalliser]

Spill, for chrissake.

[toastandmarmiterocks]

he's actually a woman?

[ShockedToTheBone]

Sorry I posted too soon and it is also hard to type.

He revealed that he was sexually abused for a few years by his mother and today is the first time he has ever spoken about it.

[alicet]

YABU for irritating AIBU by stealth and for posting a topic that isn't really an AIBU with a cryptic title and not actually telling us what it is about without even a question about whether YABU.

FFS tell us what it is about or don't bother to post

[AtYourCervix]

ouch.

[amarone]

YABU for going to a vicar rather than someone qualified to help you with relationship problems.

[onepieceoflollipop]

If you want to say it is fine. If you don't want to say then that is fine too, but perhaps state clearly that you don't want to otherwise people may try to "coax" it out of you.

Ultimately if you are communicating more openly then this is a good thing even if it doesn't seem like it now. If there was a secret or something hidden and now it is out in the open it is probably for the best in the long term.

[FunnysInTheGarden]

YABtotallyU to talk to your vicar Full Stop. I don't have a vicar and even if I did I would never talk to him/her

[toastandmarmiterocks]

shit, I'm sorry to have been so flippant...

[Pancakeflipper]

Well whatever the issue is, you need time to get over the shock and you may need to find out more information ( not from him but possible support agencies, the Internet).

Whatever it is - don't go making rash decisions whilst in turmoil unless your life is at risk.

[CarGirl]

Your poor DH.

I would look at getting him some counselling from someone with experience in this area

[ReindeerBollocks]

X post op. Very sorry for my post. Have asked for it to be removed.

Hope you can help him get the right support he needs.

[GreenEyesandHam]

You all feel bad now don't you...

[duchesse]

Poor little boy and poor man. May this be the start of his recovery.

[Pumpster]

So you thought you'd post it on MN. Ok!

[onepieceoflollipop]

Oh, ok you posted too soon. :)

Does he feel he needs some counselling/support to address these issues? It's good that he felt able to confide in you.