Text sex suggestions to drive him wild...

[textualhealing]

I've just started dating a guy and I want to remind him what he is missing when we are not together. We text in the evenings before bed as we don't want to start living together yet but we both agree that our texting is far more enjoyable than our goodnight chats. Because we are new, we can almost be more raunchy by text than we ever would do during our evening chats. (We're both middle aged and not used to dating so this is quite exciting to a couple of fuddy duddies!)
I'd like to turn up the volume of the textual side of our relationship. Any ideas folks??

[AnyFucker]

"I fancy a sausage sandwich. Can you oblige ?"

that should do it

[CockularDepravity]

"And you can put it anywhere ..."

[Ragwort]

Do you remember the thread when a mumsnetter sent a raunchy text to her DF instead of her DH - just be careful .

[textualhealing]

Oh Ragwort - how funny. I shall be very careful as I did do something similar although it involved sending a slighty bitchy text about one friend to another. Trouble was, the friend it was about was istting opposite me on the train at the time and it mentioned her by name!

[crystalglasses]

'sausage sadnwich' - ugh. It would really turn me off to receive that text

[AnyFucker]

I love a bit of pork, myself

[Malificence]

I'm partial to some prime porky-worky too.

Anything has a double meaning in our house, after TG last night, peach and car have been added to the list.
We amuse ourselves no end by making the most innocuos phrases sound utterly filthy.

[CheerfulV]

Your house sounds fun, Mal

[Roisinniamh]

I sent texts like 'Sexycock','Largecock','Silkyc...',etc; he loves it,especislly if he reads it during a really seriuos meeting with straight laced colleagues!

[voiceofnoreason]

Not for the faint hearted - but we often seek and find humorous alliterative amusement here Enough double and triple meanings to keep everyone happy. Not for the faint hearted, the easily offended, or lets face it thick skinned people who are very hard to offend.

In fact - don't go there, it makes my eyes bleed.

[batman47555]

my wife sends me texts at work too while i am in meetings
"what's for tea"

[TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet]

haha batman send back

Me baby! see what she sends back

[maltesers]

He obviously likes suggestive comments.
Just say something naughty like, " I am wearing a tight little thong with stockings and my nipples are hard at the thought of you licking them. "
Or, " I am climbing into bed tonight naked as the heating has been up too high...."
Or, " I will have to go to work tomorrow with no bra on as the washing machine door has got stuck, and I have washed every single bra !"

Its hard to suggest stuff as we dont know how daring you already have been on text, nor how far sexually you have gone already with you new man .

[findingthepath]

"I'm in bed naked. Do you want to come keep me warm?"

"I have just got some choclate spread any suggestions as to what i could put it on?"

"I'm just about to go in the shower and started thinking about you"

"I have just got a new swimming suit but i think its too reavling. Can i send you a picture to see what you think?"

Let me know if you need anymore - i'm here all week

[textualhealing]

Update from OP! It works - he's ready to jump in his car and drive a very long way.....

Thanks for all your suggestions - keep em coming, as it were!

[brimfull]

just text the word
MOIST

[Undertone]

ggirl - BARF!

[IHateLivingHere]

These are ace - am going to try them all, (at different times!).

Loving the 'moist' one, ggirl, and the one about washing all my bras! So funny.

What about "Oh, my knickers just fell off"? That usually works for my DH......

[NerdyFace]

Hahaha..These all work on me!..And I'm not even your DH! :o


One that worked for me with an Ex was when she'd be really blunt, literally "I want you to come home and fuck me so hard" etc. things like that, we men are simple creatures!

A message like that and a photo of cleavege and we'd cross the Alps for it!!

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

Rofl at these, when I was with ex, if i had text him the one about the bras in the washing machine I would have got 'don't touch the machine, I will fix it when I get back'... or 'what have you done to it now?'
He wouldn't have even cottoned on to the bra factor!

[moomoo1967]

tell him your fantasies or make some up, he will never know the difference and he may even want to act someout

[Ormirian]

"I've just fucked your best mate"

That should drive him wild.

[AlwaysbeOpralFruitstome]

You - "Are you cross with me?"
Him - "No. Why?"
You - "Because I was thinking of you and it made me do something so naughty"

and then run with it.

[IWantWine]

' I want to wrap my legs around you! '