Maybe we'll be better off apart...

[fumblinginthedark]

I am thinking of ending my 14 year relationship but am scared that I will regret this decision - if for no other reason that I'm still in love with OH. We both desperately want children but are paralysed by fear. Fear of bringing children into a judgmental world, fear of making a very public and irrevocable statement of who we are and even worse, confronting our own parents with a reality that has been left unspoken and overlooked all these years: their daughters are lesbians.
The strain and anxiety is a permanent presence and even counselling rather than being a source of solace has unveiled many of the cracks and weaknesses in the relationship.
I discovered my OH lied about going to see her parents this weekend and actually had a weekend away with a friend. On the surface it feels like a relatively inconsequential lie but I feel deeply betrayed for some reason. I also wonder if OH is not trying to push me away because she can't face taking the next steps with her parents.
Maybe I need to give her the freedom to choose, maybe some lives are better lived in the closet and she would be happier in a straight relationship or, having kids on her own. Maybe it takes more than love and we would be better off apart.

[Tiredtrout]

Did she explain why she went away with a friend instead of visiting her parents. Has she ever said why she hasn't told her parents about you?