I do not know what to do here [sad]

[welshbyrd]

DH and met 3-4years ago, everything was fab, got pregnant[planned] 2years in, up until that point and all the way through pregnancy, we couldnt even walk passed each other in the house without hands touching, cwtching, every morning before he left for work, he would kiss me goodbye, even while I was still sleeping
Maybe a month after baby was born this carried on, but then it stopped
Put it down to tiredness etc from night feeds etc,
Beginning of this year we decided to get married[well put wheels in motion, had decided to wed long time before]
Knowing how strained things were with us, I repeatedly ask/try to discuss the lack of affection ect, and was looking for some assurance, that it would be fine.Instead, he didnt ignore me, but listened and that was about it
I considered cancelling the wedding on numerous occasion [which I told him], but felt I could not, as many of our family members gave financially towards the wedding.
Married 27th August, this year, was the first time in months we had kissed [and it has been the last time], we were intimate 3 days after wedding [last time we have been]
We get on so well, in all, maybe like best friends etc.
Having made my issues clear before the wedding, I chose to keep quiet for a time after wedding, and see what happened, well we are coming into 2011, and nothing has happened, Ive given him a reasonably amount of time
Mentioned to him on friday, I have a solicitors appt on 11th of Jan, regarding divorce, broke down and explained I can not cope with things the way they are, he suggested because I was so upset, to have a relaxing bath,and that was it, carried on as fooking normal.
I feel so stupid marrying him, Im so upset, welling up here, feel almost ashamed even, that I do not think my husband loves me anymore
He is perfect dad, perfect husband, pulls his weight around house, everything else is perfect except this, I wish I could ignore it, but its beating me up inside

[pink4ever]

Have you asked him out right why he no longer wants to be intimate with you?. Do you try and instigate affection/intimacy yourself and if so what is his reaction?. Dont really have much advice tbh though I am in similar situation(but we have been together 16 years). Hope things work out for the best.

[offmyrocker]

Couldn't leave your post ignored.
Although my story is a bit different in that me and hub have been together for a very long time, but we only had a baby this September, so two reasons why sex has gone out the window .
I think that relationships go through so many phases, mine certainly has, and you just get through them because you love the bloody buggers and to be without them would be an emptier place. Trust me, with a lot of hard work and insisting that he open up and forcing him to communicate what might be going in his head you two will get through it. Surely if there was something terrible he wouldn't have gone and got married to you...
You've got to stick at a bit more.
Happy New Year - I'm sure things will get better.

[baytree]

The first thing you should do is instigate time out sessions if you can where you and DH are alone together-meal, walk, whatever you can to spend some time as a couple. Dont expect too much but dont give up hope at all yet. And definietely dont call in the lawyers or tell too many people who will push you into decisions.

Problem + lack of communication +temptation=infidelity.

So get your communication going in a non threatening way. Get him to write all the things he likes about your relationship and you do the same and open them on your night out. This would be a starting point for discussion on what you like and what you dont like. Maybe he is feeling pushed out by the baby. well if so this will only be drawn out by proper talking and maybe later counselling.
It takes 2 in different proportions to affect the health of a relationship. How have you affected your communication? (in my case it was a need to please my father from losing my mother at an early age that affected my communication in my relationship in later years-ie wouldnt challenge and be open) I wish you luck and dont give up