Toxic Parents?

[SmokinSanta]

Have seen a few mentions on this site about a book called toxic parents?

whats it like? is it worth reading? is it advisable to read when not going through counselling?

I ended contact with my father over 10 years ago for various emotional/phyiscal abuse over the years. He (and his family) have made me out to be the black sheep of the family, and deny it ever happening - looking at these threads it seems he fits the whole toxic parent thing?

I've had 2 lots of counselling (one about him 12 years ago, one about my marraige break up last summer) but not sure if I should read this or not?

Thanks

[WherecanIhide]

I think I know the very book! Problem is, for me, it was a bit too good and I kept getting tension headaches reading it!

I'm estranged from my parents (self preservation) and it's taken along time not to be eated up with anger etc etc

Can't hurt to give the book a go?

[SmokinSanta]

I guess I want a synopsis of it, as a single parent I dont want to enter into reading it if its something that I should do when I have a supportive relationship IYSWIM?

[WherecanIhide]

Look on the Amazon?

[SnowyBriar]

I've read this book and found it extremely validating.

The case studies are not limited in their topic ie type of abuse, they seem to overlap.

For example my parents are not alcoholics, but the behaviour and feelings generated towards a child by alcoholic parents were very relevant to my particular life experience.

My only criticism would be that all the case studies seemed to reach some sort of resolution. Either one or both of the parents accepted their toxicity and tried to address their issues or the parent/s refused to acknowledge any wrong doing and the case subject had to invoke no contact.

My story is one of parents that admit their issues and then carry on behaving in exactly the same way. They don't behave in an outright bad way to enforce no contact but don't address their issues either.

This scenario wasn't covered by the book so am still a bit lost when finding my resolution.

Overall though I found it a very worthwhile read.

My only advice would be that unless you are very aware of the toxic nature of your parents already...using the book alongside therapy would probably be the most emotionally safe option.

[SmokinSanta]

thanks guys.

From next financial year I can obtain another set of counselling sessions through my work, so think I will wait until then and do the book at the same time as the counselling. I am in a fairly good place right now and dont want to rock it too much.