Anger and frustration... Please help

[MuddledMe]

I've already posted this in General Health as I wasn't sure which forum was best. Apologies if you read this twice. Please let me know where you think my post should live...

I have a wonderful husband who I totally adore and who is a good, good man. I have two adorable kids of 3 and 10 months and in general I think I appear to be a happy confident person. Behind closed doors though I think I'm a bit of a nightmare to live with. I have terrible mood swings and cope really badly with situations of high anxiety. I get frustrated alot with even the most mundane things and my wonderful, patient, loving husband gets the blame for pretty much all of it. I snap and get wound up with silly things and what upsets me most is that often, when I'm really stressed or anxious, I don't think I'm very nice in the way I talk to him. The two weeks before my period are the worst and it's making me so sad. I want to change because I don't want this to start chipping away at my relationship (and I think it does). Have any of you been through anything similar and if so what helped? I saw my GP and a counsellor in the past when my eldest son was sick but I'm not sure I bonded particularly well with the counsellor so I'm not inclined to return there. I'm not against seeing someone but equally I'd love to know if there are techniques I could use, books I could read or holistic remedies I could take that might control my stress and anxiety and stop those emotions coming out as frustration and anger. I do think PMT makes me worse and this has definitely been more acute since having the kids. Please help if you can... He is a good man and we are a great family. I just don't want to keep making us both sad. X

[Tras]

I definitely feel a bit like that at times as well. My husband is so laid back and just tends to ignore me (which is good). I would put it down to PMT and take:
Agnus Castus pre menstrual formula
Vitamin B complex- good for nervous system
Evening Primrose oil

I don't feel that you really see the benefits until after 3 months but they do help me. Alternatively my friend was prescribed an anti depressant by her G.P and she is like a different woman. It just depends on how bad you feel. Hope this helps.

[googoomama]

I'm on citalopram (an AD) and it works wonders for PMT, which also gives me lots of stress and sometimes anger. I'm on a very low dose 10mg and it's amazing. GPs also give it to people who suffer panic attacks, which I sometimes do too and it's very good for that as well.

[hairyfairylights]

I feel like this too when I get pmt. I actually feel luke I could kill kill people. I have to hide at work (I am a CEO) and I get terribly irritated with everyone and everything.

[hairyfairylights]

Citalopram didn't make any difference to my pmt btw

[MuddledMe]

Thank you all, it's nice to know I'm not alone. My poor OH can't do right for doing wrong when I get like this. If he tries to ignore me that's not right, if he rises up I accuse him of being defensive, if he says nothing I tell him to explain how he feels, and when he does I tell him he's making matters worse. It's like I feel I need to blame someone for how stressed, anxious or crap I feel, as if that makes my behaviour a) excusable and b) justified (and often it is neither!) I think that when PMT lasts for two weeks of every four this pattern of behaviour starts to feel like the norm and I end up reacting like that too often. FWIW it's rarely over the big stuff and often something quite minor which I react to and which then (when I don't get the response I want) explodes. I respect my husband so much and that's what breaks my heart, because when the red mist falls I behave like nothing he does is right and that's totally unfair. We never row in front of the kids and these blow ups normally erupt once a month, but that's just once a month too many for me. Will definitely try the holistic solutions first... Took Angus cactus in the past for menstrual problems but stopped when I fell pregnant with DC1. Any other advice gratefully received because I do genuinely want to fix this.

[googoomama]

I would go to your GP too and see what he/she has to say. This is a very common problem with lots of women. I also get tetchy round the two week mark and then sometimes a week before. I can be shaking with rage and know that it's the PMT! I know stress can also make my PMT worse, so perhaps this is why the citalopram works for me, as it makes me less stressed. I'm not suggesting going on anit depressants if you're not depressed(I'm on them because I am) but GPs can and do offer mild anti depressants for other ailments. I'm on such a low dose that they don't make me into a zombie and they are perfectly safe. See what your GP says - he/she should also be able to offer alternatives, such as those you have described. Good luck - you are being proactive and at least you know the cause of your behaviour and you have a strong relationship with your DH.